


Brother let me be your shelter.

by SammyAndDe



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bottom Sam, Dean Winchester Takes Care of Sam Winchester, Dean/Sam - Freeform, Eventual Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester, First Time, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Sam Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapped Sam, M/M, Protective Dean Winchester, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery, Rape/Non-con Elements, Top Dean, Wincest - Freeform, Worried Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-10
Updated: 2018-05-14
Packaged: 2019-02-12 11:19:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 25
Words: 49,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12958086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SammyAndDe/pseuds/SammyAndDe
Summary: Dean and Sam are on a hunt.. at least that's what they thought it was. Until things take a very unexpected turn for the worse.(I suck at summaries)





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is mostly from Deans POV. It'll either stay that way or become third POV as the story moves on.  
> I hope you guys enjoy it.  
> Comments, suggestions, and criticism are always welcome, although I do already have the story planned out.

Dean tapped his thumbs against the steering wheel of baby, music blasting as he drove. Him and Sam had found a hunt, disappearances. People around the same age were being taken with the bodies turning up days later with the Same injuries and marks on them. It may not even be supernatural, maybe just a serial killer but anything was enough at this point if it meant getting out of the bunker for the first time in weeks. But over those weeks things seemed different. Dean would catch Sam looking at him which, well, wasn't strange seeing how they were the only two people in the bunker, but it was the way Sam would act after Dean caught him that would throw Dean off. His eyes would widen slightly, and he'd duck his head down, run his hand through his stupid long hair, trying to act like it didn't happen. Dean wasn't sure why but he never said anything.  
"So.." Sams voice snapping him out of his thoughts, He looked seeing Sam turn down the music a bit. "Once we get to a motel one of us at least should go to the police station. Get the files on the victims, see if we can find anything from them." Sam said.  
"Well we already know some, it's not like we're going in blind." Dean said glancing between the road and his brother. "All the victims were male, all in their late twenties to thirties, the bodies show up a few days after they disappear." He said, repeating what Sam had read him when he found the case.  
"Ah, so you were paying attention earlier." Sam teased, a slight smile on his face.  
Dean held back the urge to roll his eyes. "Bitch.." He mumbled. "I always pay attention. You think I want us going into something like this blind? I take whatever info I can get. Besides, this doesn't even sound like our type of thing. The reports online said there were marks on the bodies.. doesn't mean it's symbols but it's better to take a look." He said.  
"You think it's some kind of a cult thing? Sacrifices?" Sam asked, his brow furrowed. Dean just shrugged keeping his eyes on the road. "Beats me. We'll know soon enough." He said turning the music back up, Sam rolling his eyes and shaking his head as they got closer to the town.

Hunting life was normal to Dean, he and Sam went through the Same actions, Same false names, Same excuses as to why they were called onto the case. It was just second nature to him. The town was small, one of those you see in the movies were pretty much everyone knew each other and they stared to long for Deans liking when they walked into the police station. Clearly outsiders never came into town, or they were always just frowned upon. The most recent body had already been buried. Zack. The latest victim and last person in the town to be reported missing. at least no one else had gone missing yet. They retrieved the files on Zack and the three other victims taking them back to the motel.  
"So the marks we read about.." Sam said walking into the motel, he had read over some stuff as Dean drove. "..It's like they were branded. Like how you would to a farm animal. It's not listed for all of them, but they were all definitely tortured."  
Dean walked across the room as Sam talked, he loosened his tie sitting on the couch. "And the cause of death?" He asked, none of this sounding much like what they delt with but it was best to look into it while they were here.  
"Well.." Sam said handing one of the files to Dean while skimming over another one. "It says asphyxiation, but not all of them have bruising around their neck."  
"Could've done it with a pillow or bag, doesn't necessarily mean they were all strangled." Dean said, earning a sigh from Sam.  
"I know it's just... something about this doesn't feel right." Sam said looking over the files.  
"You mean it doesn't sound like our thing. Because that's what I'm thinking. I think we came into this creepy ass town for nothing. This is something the cops should be taking care of." Dean stated.  
"Why don't we just stick around for a few days?" Sam suggested. Dean stood up sighing, Sam had always had a big and caring heart. Dean wanted to find who was doing this to, but it wasn't their type of work.  
"Sammy come on.." He said walking across the room pulling off his tie. "This is cop work, we're not cops."  
"That's not what we told the police earlier." Sam mumbled, clearly set on staying.  
Dean rolled his eyes. "FBI. FBI is not the same as cops."  
"No it's not.." Sam agreed. "It's better than cops, which is why we should stay. Come on Dean, just for a few days. Just to make sure it's not our usual gig." Dean turned to look at him, he was finding it harder and harder to say no to Sam nowadays. He wasn't sure why, but decided to go along with it. What could a few days hurt? "Alright fine. Three days and then we're gone." Dean said, his voice stern, no more room for negotiating.  
Sam nodded. "Three days that's fine. It should give us enough time to see if there's anything going on in town that is our kind of thing." Dean nodded rubbing his hand over his face and reaching for his keys. "Where are you going?" Sam asked sitting up.  
"To get a drink." Dean said flatly. "If I have to stay in this town I'm gonna need one.. make that at least two." He said heading towards the door. "Don't wait up for me." He called leaving the room, leaving Sam there sighing. He looked back down at the files, he thought something was off about these people. The different bruising and injuries listed for each of them. It didn't settle right with him he decided to do what he did best and get to some research. He pulled out his laptop and started looking up things in the town. Seeing if maybe there had been a history of crimes here. He may have still been looking when Dean got back.

It had been two days. No new missing persons reports and no more bodies had turned up. Sam and Dean had gone over the files, Sam a few more times than Dean, he couldn't piece together what had been bothering him about it and Dean told him he should give it a rest. Sam sighed shutting his laptop.  
"Why don't you come to the bar with me?" Dean suggested, sitting on the couch flipping through the channels. "Play, some pool, have a drink, loosen up.. maybe get laid."  
Sam chuckled shaking his head. "I was thinking of heading to the library seeing if they had any old papers there about the town.. or any history really."  
"And how are you gonna get there?" Dean asked knowing the library was about a mile away.  
"Come on Dean, just let me take the car. The library closes at nine so that'll give you plenty on time to go get drunk or laid after." Sam said a bit annoyed.  
Dean raised his eyebrows turning to glance at Sam. "If you wanted to take the car why don't you just ask? And what's with the attitude?" He asked standing up. "You've been moody since we've been here. Is it that time of the month for you Sammy?"  
Sam glared at him. "It's Sam, and you know damn well I've been in this motel since we got here. You always go out to drink and pick up girls so why can't I leave to actually work on this damn case that we came here to do in the first place?" He asked raising his voice.  
Dean sighed frustratedly. "Because this isn't a case for us SAM. There's nothing in it that's in our field of work! No EMF readings, no one has seen or heard anything strange in this town. I told you before, just let the cops deal with it. This isn't what we do."  
Sam sat back crossing his arms. "We still have another day." He said through his teeth.  
Dean groaned rubbing a hand over his face. "Fine. Go. Take the keys and leave. Maybe when you come back you'll stop being such a moody bitch." He said picking up the keys and throwing them at Sam who just barely caught them. "And you better be back when they close, I still plan on going out tonight."  
Sam looked up at Dean, pushing the chair back and huffing as he headed to the door. "Fucking jerk." He mumbled under his breath, but loud enough for Dean to hear him, slamming the door as he left before Dean could say anything else.  
Dean sighed flopping back down on the couch. He listened as Sam started the car and drove away. Of course Sam was moody. So was he. Being in this town, working on a 'case' that wasn't even really thiers. Dean know he should've just let Sam leave earlier and not argued about it but he wasn't going to worry about it now. When Sam got back they would be fine, both less moody and they'd get over it just like they always did when they fought. Dean sat back to watch the movie that was playing, telling himself to relax. But he still checked the clock every so often just so he'd know when Sam would be coming back.

Around the nine fifteen mark Dean thought Sam would be back, the library was closed so Sam should be back soon. At nine thirty he got anxious, thinking maybe Sam was staying out later to annoy him on purpose. Well it was working, Dean was tired of sitting around the motel and wanted to head out to a bar to play some pool. At nine forty five his annoyance turned into worry. He pulled out his phone. No missed calls or texts from Sam, he typed one out sending it.  
Did you forget how to tell time? You still at the library? -D  
After a few minutes with no response he sent another text.  
Dammit Sam answer me -D  
Still no response. He called Sam then, ready to tear him a new one over the phone. It rang, and rang, and rang, before going to voicemail. Strange, Sam always picked up. Even when he was pissed. He only missed calls if he was busy or... no. Sam was fine. He was at the library. Why would anything be wrong? Dean glanced at the clock again. The library had been closed for over an hour, Sam would've let him know if he was going somewhere after. Wouldn't he? Dean grabbed his jacket, ignoring the sinking feeling starting to grow in his stomach. He'd simply walk to the library and see if maybe Sam had got the time wrong since he couldn't bother to pick up the damn phone. 

It was about a mile walk and it didn't take to long to get there. The bad feeling only growing in Deans stomach as he got closer. He could see the building and the parking lot. The lights inside seemed to be on but dim. And there was only one car in the parking lot. His car. Fuck.  
"Sam?" Dean called out looking around. It was quiet. No traffic and no one else seemed to be out. Of course not, everyone in this town seemed boring. Dean walked to the entrance but it was locked. Dammit. He checked the times on the door and yes, Sam was right. It did close at nine. So why was baby still in the parking lot and Sam not in sight.  
"Sammy?" Dean called louder, more frantic looking around. He pulled out his phone as he walked to the car, the car seemed fine. No broken windows or scratches, or glass around it. So did Sam even make it to the car?  
"You better pick up. Come on, come on!" Dean mumbled to himself as he called Sam once again on the phone. His heart almost stopped. He could just barely make out the sound of a ringtone in the distance. Sams ringtone. "Fuck, fuck, no, no. Dammit." He mumbled walking back over to the building, walking around the side and to the back of it. "Sam?" Dean called as the ringing got louder. He stopped in his tracks. Frozen for a moment, there behind the building was Sams phone, and his jacket. And blood. A small puddle of blood. Dean almost dropped his phone.  
"No, no! Fuck Dammit, Sam!" Dean yelled looking around the back of the building franticly. Nothing. No echo, no noise, no people. And no Sam. Dean kicked the back of the building in frustration.  
"Fuck!" He yelled. He should've left sooner. He should've tried calling earlier. No this couldn't be happening. He regained some composure looking around the area. The blood was dry.  
"Dammit!" He yelled. He'd gotten here late. Too late. Sam had been gone for a while, taken probably before Dean even knew he was missing. He looked over the area a few more times. No tracks. No other clothing or items. He picked up Sams jacket and phone when realization struck him. This couldn't of been random. This was to clean and well done to be spur of the moment. This was planned. Sam was the newest victim.


	2. Chapter 2

Dean spent the rest of the night driving around town looking for Sam. Looking for any kind of clues that might lead him to his brother. He found nothing. He went back to the motel, slamming the door shut behind him. What the hell was he supposed to do? He could tell the cops about this, but he had already messed with the crime scene and they would get suspicious since he didn't call anything in when it happened. He was lost. He kicked one of the chairs over then sat down on one of the bed putting his head in his hands. Breath. He thought to himself. Just breath, he was no good like this. He needed to focus. Needed to calm down when calm was the last thing he was. He took a deep breath and stood up walking over to the table, he picked up the chair sitting down in it with a sigh. The sun was starting to come up. There was no way in hell he'd get any type of sleep today, or anyday. Not until he found Sam. He opened the files and started to look through them again. Sam seemed confused by a few things earlier while looking at them. But what? What was it?  
"Come on Sammy.. what were you onto?" Dean mumbled, wishing his brother was there, wishing he had payed more attention when Sam was talking about the injuries over the past few days. After a while of looking and struggling he gave up.. for now. Dean Winchester is no quitter. Especially with his brother gone. He would never give up on Sam. He stood up taking the files with him and walked back out to the car. His head a bit more clear. Time to pull his act together and find out what happened. He couldn't go to the cops, but he'd be damned if he just sat around the motel waiting for an answer to hit him. Dean was going to take this hunt, this case, whatever it was. He'd make damn sure whoever took his brother would pay.

He arrived at the library a few minutes later. It had just opened and he walked up to the librarian up front.  
"Were you working here last night?" He asked a bit bluntly, wanting to get straight to the point. She looked up at him through her glasses.  
"I'm sorry.. you are..?" She asked, her voice not very caring. More curious and nosey then anything.  
"FBI." He said pulling out his fake badge, earning a shocked look from her. "I need to talk to whoever was here working last night. Whoever closed. It's important." He said, trying hard to hold back his impatience.  
"That.. that was Carol. I'll call her and see if she can come in to talk to you." And with that, she went behind the counter grabbing her phone and calling. Dean sighed looking around. Wondering where Sam was sitting, what he came to see, what he was reading. That all would've helped make things easier. He had pushed this case aside thinking it was the cops job when really he should've paid more attention to Sam. He wouldn't stop kicking himself over that.  
"She said she could be down here in twenty minutes." The librarian called out. Dean nodding giving her a tight smile. Twenty minutes he didn't have. Twenty minutes he had to stand around and do nothing. Unless.. "Do you have security cameras in the parking lot?" He asked, a small hint of hope in his voice. She shook her head.  
"No we don't. It's not in our budget." For fucks sake, of course not. Why would this be easy.  
"Thanks." He mumbled walking to the front door looking across the street. There was a small gas station and he squinted slightly looking closer, maybe they had cameras out front. "You said twenty minutes?" He asked and she nodded. "Ok, I'll be back. Just tell her to wait here for me." He said leaving the building leaving no room for argument. He got in his car and drove across the street, it was a stretch but he'd do anything at this point if it meant finding his brother.

Dammit, just dammit all to hell! Dean was sitting in baby, in the parking lot of the library. The gas station was a bust. They had cameras but nothing pointing in the right spots. He could see the street. Saw when Sam drove in and parked the car. Getting out looking a bit upset as he walked out of frame, into the direction of the library entrance. It made Deans stomach turn. Knowing he was the one who made him upset. He knew Sam was more emotional than he was.. well. He hid it less than Dean did. More times then not the kid wore his heart on his sleeve while Dean bottled everything up. He could remember his last words to Sam, how pissed he was when he said them. Telling Sam to just leave.  
"No, fuck!" Dean hit the steering wheel. Not his last words. He wouldn't let them be. He was going to find Sam. He was going to apologize. He was going to make sure his little brother was safe and bring him back. Back where he belonged. With him. Dean missed him more than he ever thought he would, but he pushed it off because he figured it was just worry. Of course he was worried. He had every right to be. No one who was working at the gas station saw anything. No fight, no Sam, no creepy guy stalking around. Sam at the library. Carol did say that she saw Sam. She wouldn't forget him, he was taller then anyone she'd ever met before. She said he left alone and no one followed him out, she remembered because he came up and thanked her for her help before leaving. Of course he did. Sam had a good heart, and probably wanted to thank the old woman for digging through old papers for him. So that must of meant someone was waiting outside of the building for him. Dean groaned loudly. Why wouldn't anyone notice some creepy guy hanging around? Why couldn't he catch a break? And most importantly how did Sam let one guy get the jump on him? Sam knew how to fight. He was damn good at it and knew how to hold his own. So how could he have been dragged to the back of the building? He opened one of the files looking over the pictures of injuries for the hundredth time. Someone was doing this to Sam. His Sammy. His little brother. And he didn't have a clue who it was. No idea. No... wait.  
That seemed off. Dean quickly opened another file of another victim, comparing the pictures, the bruise marks. His eyes widened. They were different sizes. Different sets of hands. It wasn't just one person. It was more, two at the least. A group! That would explain it. He was asking the wrong questions. He shouldn't be out looking for one guy, he was looking for a group of them. It made more sense. Finally! Dean let out a breath. "I found it Sammy. I know what you were looking for." He mumbled. He felt better now that there were new questions to ask. He had a better idea of who to look for. But a sense of uneasiness was still there. Something still bothering him about the injuries.  
"Come on.. what else is there.." He mumbled. The bruises. The different placements of the injuries. What was he missing. Dean looked them over, his mind racing, his head much clearer and.. he let out breath. His heart stopping for the millionth time today. "No.. no no no." He repeated dropping the files down in the passenger seat, Sams seat, and starting up his car.

"Why isn't it listed on any of these files that the victims were raped?!" Dean asked, his voice loud. Just barely able to keep it under a yell. He pushed the doors wide open and walked in with such a fury. He knew he had all eyes on him when he entered the police station, but at the moment, he didn't give a flying fuck.  
"Come with me." The police chief said, turning and leading Dean into his office. Dean followed, his face still angry, his fists clenched. His mind and heart racing thinking of everything that was happening to his brother. He'd been gone for over half a day, and the thought of what they were doing to his brother made him sick while he was here getting nowhere. He shut the door behind him, his blunt nails digging into the palm of his hand. "Are you gonna answer the question?" He asked loudly. Tired of the little help he'd been getting all morning. It should've been obvious. The bruised and raw wrists, bruising on the shoulders, hips, knees and thighs. Bruises left in shapes of handprints, on all the victims. Maybe this is what Sam was thinking about yeserday.  
"Listen.." The chief Bob began slowly. Dean groaned, he couldn't help it. He didn't have time for this.  
"No you listen!" Dean said his voice raised. "This is supposed to list all injuries, why wasn't it reported anywhere? Withholding information is a crime so you better have a damn good reason why I was uninformed of this."  
The chief sighed. "The families asked. They didn't want the information getting around. The didn't want the other residents to know."  
"Not. Good enough." Dean said through clenched teeth. He'd take his anger out on this man no problem. "If they don't want it spread then don't say anything. But leaving it off file? So fucking unacceptable!" He yelled.  
"I fucked up ok? We'll update the files and go on from there. Let your partner know and then we'll just work from there."  
Dean had never wanted to knock someone out so badly in his entire life. "He knows." Dean said through gritted teeth. "Don't hide anything else from us." And with that he stormed out of the police station still seeing red. Fucking town, with fucking uneducated workers. Time to go back to square one. Dean got into the car slamming the door shut, starting up the engine. The bodies of the kidnapped victims usually showed up four days after they were taken. That didn't leave him with a lot of time. "Don't worry Sammy." He whispered to himself as he started to drive. "I'll find you. Just please hold on."


	3. Chapter 3

It had been a full day. Twenty four hours since Dean assumed Sam got taken. He sat in the motel thinking. He had gone back and looked over the security footage from the gas station. Looking for groups of people that may have walked up to the library instead of just one person, questioning the worker who was there the previous night, and he went back to the library to ask Carol if a group of two or more guys were in there watching Sam, she said no. Not from what she remembered. He came up empty, No luck once again. He sighed frustratedly throwing the files down on the table. He had a lead now, but that was it. He wasn't getting anything other then it was at least two guys, but he was guessing at least three or four, because Sam would most likely be able to take on two guys just fine. He had to of been gained up on, it was the only answer. His stomach growled and he sighed. He hadn't eaten all day. He didn't want to. He had no appetite and didn't think Sam was getting fed wherever he was, so why should he eat. He was also exhausted. He hadn't slept in over thirty hours. He knew it wasn't good for him but he couldn't think right, so much worry, and what ifs, it didn't feel right sleeping when Sam was out somewhere, being held, and tortured and..  
"Dammit!" Dean yelled kicking one of the chairs across the room and pushing the table over.  
"Son of a bitch! Why?" He yelled. Why were the police getting nowhere with these murders? Not one lead. Not one damn lead and this had been going on for weeks. He sunk down to the floor, his back pressed against the wall. He felt lost. No lead, no clues, and no Sam. Sam. Dammit he missed his brother so much. His complaining, their banter, the way he would always push his stupidly long hair out of his face. He sighed again deeply feeling his eyes getting watery.  
"I'm sorry Sammy." He whispered. Not giving up but he was going to rest. He needed it to think. To function better. He felt guilty sleeping when Sam was god knows where, so he stayed on the floor eventually falling into an uneasy sleep

Dean woke up the next day Hearing his phone ring, waking him up from his sleep. He shot up from the floor, quickly moving over to the bedside table where his phone was picking it up and answering it.  
"Hello?" He said quickly rubbing his face, looking around. The sun already seemed high in the sky. Dammit he slept the whole morning. He was still tired, but anxious. Feeling slightly better but enough to get back to work again.  
"Agent Smith?" A female voice came over the phone, Dean couldn't place it at the moment.  
"Yes, this is him. Who's calling?" He asked sitting at the corner of the bed.  
"Carol. From the library. I remembered something. Something about a group of guys you were asking about? It might be nothing, but you said that if I.."  
"Anything helps." Dean cut her off quickly, wide awake and on high alert now. "What is it? What did you remember?"  
"Well there weren't any rowdy or trouble makers in last night. Everyone in this town is very respectful.." She began. Deans grip on the phone tightened. He just wanted her to get the the damn point. "But last night, when the man you're looking for was here, When he came up to thank me for my help, a group of guys left right before he did."  
"A group? How many?" Dean asked standing up starting to pace.  
"Oh I don't know. Four maybe? I only remembered because one of them knocked a few books off the display as they were leaving, but he picked them up and put them back. Like i said, very respectful people."  
"Do you know who they were? What they looked like?" Dean asked, he could care less about those actions.  
"No I'm sorry I didn't see any faces."  
Dean sighed rubbing his hand over his face. It may not of even been them, but this was the closest he'd gotten and it seemed like this was going nowhere.  
"But I thought you'd like to come and review the security videos." Her voice interrupted his thoughts. Deans eyes flew open.  
"The.. The other woman, she said there were no security cameras!"  
"In the parking lot.." Carol said. "..We have them inside. Just in case we get robbed or something else were to happen." Yeah, ok. Who's gonna rob a fucking library? This would've been nice to know earlier.  
"Ok. Thank you so much for your help. I have to stop by the police station first, I'll head there after to review the footage."  
"You're very welcome agent." She said and Dean ended the call. Finally. Finally!  
"Alright Sammy.. Just keep holding on." Dean mumbled to himself, quickly changing his shirt and then heading back out to the car.  
"I'm going to find you."

Dean arrived at the station. He got out of his car and headed inside going to find Bob asking him if the files were updated yet. He got handed the files and he turned leaving without a word of thanks. Why should he? Fucking ignorant chief keeping facts and injuries off record. If anything he should've been more scared when Dean found out he was hiding them. Dean took the files into the car and drove to the library. He'd look at the files later. Right now he had some faces to see and memorize. He was desperately hoping this one lead wouldn't fail him.  
Once at the library he got out and headed inside, speaking briefly with Carol. She took him to the office where the kept the footage, he thanked her although he was still pissed she hadn't said anything about the recordings the day before. She nodded and left him to do his work. There were a few different angles, he rewound the footage to earlier. To around the time Sam would've arrived. About seven thirty. He slowly skimmed through the footage until he saw the back of a familiar Jacket.  
"Sammy." He paused the video and took a deep breath. Telling himself this wouldn't be the last time he saw his brother alive. This wouldn't be what was left of him. He'd find him. He'd get his brother back. He played the video watching Sam. He sat down at an empty table, stacking a few books next to him. They looked older. Probably some history on the town or similar cases that had happened. The beginning of the video Sam had an upset look on his face, and Dean knew it wasn't there because of the case. It was because of him. He skimmed through the video, playing it a bit fast, his mind going to the group of guys the librarian had talked about. He played it forward till Sam got up to leave. He saw them. There was a group of four guys that had discreetly followed Sam once he walked up to Carol and left before he did. One of the shorter ones knocking over books and picking them up like Carol had said. Dean rewound the footage watching them. Sure enough, they were looking at Sam. Different ones walking past his table at different times. They kept their distance and didn't go up and talk to him. But it was them, he knew it in his gut seeing the way they were looking at him. Sam hadn't even noticed.  
"Found you bastards." He said under his breath. All he had to do was find out who they were and where they lived. He paused the video a few times taking pictures of their faces. He wasn't going to the police with this. He'd deal with the fuckers himself. He was going to make them pay. He got up and left thanking Carol and getting into his car heading back to the motel.

When he read the updated files of injuries Dean had dropped them onto the floor and ran to the bathroom dry heaving. Nothing left in his stomach to come up. He coughed wiping his mouth, spitting into the sink taking shaky breaths.  
"Sammy.. no.. fucking bastards." He panted softly, his hands shaking. They were mortifying. The injuries. He should've been prepared after knowing about the rape, but he wasn't. How do you prepare for something like that? Tearing and bleeding. Bruises and swelling. He felt sick again. They were doing this to Sammy. His Sammy.  
"Son of a bitch." He mumbled. wiping his face off. His stomach turning again but nothing coming up. He took a deep breath. He couldn't be like this now. Sam needed him. Needed him a lot.  
"Ok, ok.. I'm good." Dean mumbled to himself. Lies. He was anything but good. But he needed to be ok in order to help Sam. He left the bathroom going over the the table and sitting down in front of Sam's laptop. He pushed the files aside not daring to look at them again. He uploaded the pictures he took to the computer, hacking into the criminal data bases that he and Sam, mostly Sam, had done before running the pictures through them. Sure enough he got a hit. On all four of them. Well sorta. They were in the system but had no records.  
"That's weird." Dean mumbled digging a little deeper. Then he saw it. All of their records were sealed.  
"What the hell..?" Dean worked a bit harder. Usually Sam did this stuff. The hacking and computer work. Dean could do it, it just took him longer, yet another thing he wished he was better at. Wish he had watched Sam done more instead of teasing him about being a geek and a computer nerd. It took a while but he finally got them all unsealed which made him every more confused.  
"Petty crimes." He mumbled. They all seemed the Same, loitering, accidental killing of animals, trespassing and vandalism. Those aren't things you seal. Dean was expecting much bigger things. He was more surprised to see the records had been sealed and approved by their lawyers and by Bob? The fuck? Dean rolled his eyes recalling Bob's words. Not wanting to have things spread around town to the locals. Well this was just plain stupid. He checked for their addresses. They all lived alone. But would they really take anyone to their houses? Dean would check anyway. But he also wrote down the addresses for places of abandon buildings and property they had trespassed on. Better to be safe.  
"Don't worry Sammy..." Dean mumbled getting up from the table. He picked up his gun shoving it in the back of his waistband. He had more guns and ammo in the trunk he would get. It was getting late. The sun had gone down and Sam had been gone for two days now. Two days too long.  
"..I'm still looking for you. I'm going to find you." And with that he was back out the door. Names and faces memorized. He was going to kill each and every one of them.


	4. Chapter 4

The first two houses were a bust. There was no one home, no cars in the driveway. He picked the locks and went inside. Nothing out of the ordinary. No weapons besides the knives in the kitchen but that's to be expected. He was on his way to the third house, his hope starting to fade. One more house after this and then he'd have nowhere else to look. Sure he could check the abandoned buildings around town, but that would take forever. And he wouldn't know where to start. He was making sure he had the right address when he saw the front door open and close, one of the men from the security footage looking the door while talking on his phone. That one was Craig. The one who knocked the books down. Dean had turned off the engine already and ducked down staying hidden in baby. There were no street lights. He could only see because of the porch light that was on. Dean held his breath and tried to listen to what he was saying.  
"...great..... out......few..... way.." Well that didn't help much. But it was weird. Craig was looking around, and it was late. Really late. Where was he going off to at three in the morning? Dean bit his lip watching Craig get into his car. He had to make a choice here. Follow him, or have the empty house to himself to look at. He watched as Craig started the car and backed out of the driveway, driving down the road.  
"Screw it." Dean started the car after craig got a good distance away. He kept his lights off and followed behind him. He could always check the house later. Right now he wanted to know what he was doing going out at three in the morning. 

He drove for a while. Dean almost stopped and turned around a few times. It was now three thirty. They were now on the outskirts of town.  
"Damn.." Dean muttered. Not knowing if he was being lead away or to someplace. He was hoping for the latter. He never would've thought to check out this far. He thought they would've kept their victims in town. But maybe this was smarter for them. He stayed back on the road watching as Craig pulled up to a building. It was a house. The first one he'd seen for miles. It looked old and abandoned, but there were lights on. Dim but the place had people in it. It was worn down and in the middle of nowhere. The perfect place to keep people where no one in town would think of looking.  
"Son of a bitch.." These guys were smarter then Dean had given them credit for. After craig went into the house Dean waited a few more minutes before slowly driving closer. He parked baby at the curb of the street, he was glad she was black. Made her harder to see in the dark with no street lights on the road. He went around to the trunk. He pulled out another gun and a few loaded magazines so he could reload if he needed to. He had two knives on him as well. Better to be prepared and possibly avoid the noise. He shut the trunk with a quiet thunk, gun in hand. Loaded, cocked, and ready for whatever was inside. "I'm here Sammy.." He whispered as he walked towards the house. "I'm going to find you."

Dean slowly went through the front door. It wasn't even locked. He slowly shut the door, looking at the back of it. No locks.  
"Huh.." Well at least he wouldn't be locked inside. He stayed quiet. Listening. There were people in here. That was for sure, but no one close by. The place was old, falling apart, and somehow seemed colder in here then it was outside. The electricity was on, but the only light sources in the front of the house came from small lamps. Probably so no one driving by would get to suspicious. There was an old couch, a few wooden chairs and trash around the room from what he could see. Both old and newer. How long had this been going on? He moved further into the house. Deciding to go up the stairs where he could see another light on and here some faint noises. He slowly made his way up the stairs. The creaked softly under his weight. Stupid fucking old houses. He made it up the staircase and slowly made his way down the hall and closer to one of the rooms. He saw light coming from it. He heard noises from the room. Talking, some laughing, and.. groaning. Someone in pain.  
"Fuck." Dean moved a bit quicker so he was standing outside the doorway. The noises were louder, yet somehow still sounded distant. He heard another sound moaning, from pleasure. Fuck! He held up his gun, turning so he stepped into the doorway, gun pointed to the sounds of the noises. He froze. It was a t.v. And someone was sitting in a chair in front of the t.v. He hadn't noticed Dean yet. But Dean sure as hell noticed him. Noticed what he was doing, and what he was watching. He was going to be sick. He was frozen for a moment. Just watching and listening to what was being played on screen. Sammy. His Sammy. His baby brother. On screen, arms chained up above his head, on his knees, naked, as the other men stood around him. Laughing at him, jeering at him, kicking and hitting him. He could see that Sam was bruised like all the other victims. Bruises in the shapes on handprints, on his shoulders and hips and.. no. One of the men on screen moved behind Sam undoing his pants, moving his hands against Sam's bare back and shoulders. Sam yanked against the chains, yelling against the gag they had tied around him. That only got him a punch and more laughing as the man moved his hand down lower. No no no. Dean had enough.  
In a split second he had enough time to grab the guy from the back of his shirt. Cody. He was to busy with his hand down his pants to notice Dean in the room with him. Dean grabbed hold of him and rammed his head into the tv. The glass shattered and the image was gone. He could still hear the sound though. More laughing from men, as Sam's muffled yells turned into muffled screams.  
"Sick! Fucking! Bastards!" Dean hissed throwing Cody to the ground. His head hitting the floor with a thunk. He groaned loudly and Dean was kneeling over him. Hitting the side of his head with the gun as Cody let out another loud groan. Dean pushed his arm down on Cody's neck, holding the gun up to his head with his other hand.  
"Where is he?" Dean growled. Gripping the gun so tight it almost shook.  
Cody choked, coughing and gasped for air. The bastard could talk. Dean knew this, he wasn't playing games. He pressed down harder.  
"Don't make me ask again." He spat in his face, the noises from the video still playing faintly from the speakers. Dean was seeing red. Cody took in a strangled breath, eyes widening as he looked up at Dean.  
"B.. base.. ment." He barley got out. Fuck. Dean had gone the wrong way. At least there was one less asshole to deal with.  
"Have fun in hell." Dean said lowly. Cody gasped, eyes going even wider.  
"N.. no.. please." He begged weakly. Dean made sure those were the last words he ever spoke.

Dean had pistol whipped him, knocking him out. He grabbed a pillow from the bed in the room to help muffle the gunshot. A mercy killing. If Dean would've had more time he would've made him pay, but he still had to get to Sam. He got up to leave the room only to hear footsteps approaching the stairs.  
"Hey Cody?" Another one, perfect. Two down, two to go. Dean pressed himself against the wall, behind the open door.  
"Come on man. Craig want's one last gang bang before we get rid of our boy toy." Fuck. No. Fuck this, and fuck him. Dean watched as the man walked into the room and stopped in his tracks, gapping at the broken t.v. It was Jon. Dean was on him before Jon could even look over at Cody's body. Shoving him against the wall, punching him repeatedly in the jaw. Jon got on good punch in, it didn't even hurt Dean though he knew there would be a bruise there later. It just made him mad. He kicked Jon's knee cap in just the right place. Braking it. He dropped to the floor crying out in pain. Dean pulled out his knife, pressing it to Jon's neck.  
"Not. Happening." He said through gritted teeth, glaring down at the man with hate in his eyes. He then took the knife, making Jon pay. Leaving him alone in the room to die in a puddle of his own blood.

Dean made his way down the steps quicker but still quietly. Two more fuckers to go and then he would Get Sam. Bring him home, take him to the bunker, and apologize for everything. Sam was still alive. He knew it, He wasn't leaving without his brother. No chance in hell. He walked though the bottom story of the house, no one, He went into the kitchen gun still held up. Standing by a door listening. Either a closet or a basement. He heard muffled sounds from the other side. The basement. Bingo. He slowly opened the door, no creaks thank whatever almighty being was listening to those prayers.  
"Where are they man? Think we should start without them? Can't leave our boy by himself for long." Deans blood boiled at the cocky voice, He was going to enjoy killing him.  
"Just hold on a minute, You know how much Cody likes hearing him cry." Dean froze. Not just because he was feeling sick again, or he was seeing red. That voice. He knew it. He had heard it before. He had talked to him.

"Aww, Come on Bob. Let me and Craig have some time alone with him. We won't break him that much." Fucking Bob! The damn Chief police who was supposed to be helping these people. Not hurting them. Of course. Dean had enough. He was going to kill them all, but wait. He silently cursed. There were three people down there. Bob, Craig, and Steve. Fuck, that made things harder.  
"I'll go check on them. They're probably getting off from our home movies. It's never as good as the real thing though." There was laughing and then footsteps coming towards the steps. Bring it on fuckers. As soon as Steve walked up the stairs into the kitchen Deans arms were around him. Around his shoulders, around his head, and he snapped his neck letting his body drop to the floor with a dull thunk. Time to end this.

He crept down the stairs, gun held up, moving slowly. He could still hear them talking.  
"Man I'm not waiting for them. If he ends up passing out again that's not on us. Let's go." Craig. Fuck him, Dean made his way further down the stairs. He moved around a corner not seeing anyone, just a door leading into a back room. He took a step and then heard chains rattling and muffled yelling followed by loud laughing.  
"I love seeing them like this. They never know what's coming. This poor whore probably thinks he's been down here for a week." More laughing. What the hell, what the fuck were they doing to Sam. His Sammy. No more time for games. No more waiting around, this had to end. He moved to the doorway quickly. His gun held high only giving himself a fraction of a second to glance at Sam. Just like in the video. Arms chained up, kneeling in the middle of the room, naked and dirty, and bruises and blood on his body and fuck. Not only was he gagged but blindfolded, and they had put headphones on him. Fucking assholes. Dean was furious, he was mad, upset, heartbroken and almost every other emotion to fit this. But he couldn't break. Not yet. Sam needed him, and now he was finally here. Dean shot once. Right in the back of Craigs head. He was dead before he hit the ground. Bob was only able to turn and bang. Another shot, hitting his shoulder. Dean charged, hitting Bob square in the chest knocking him over.  
"You fucking monster!" Dean yelled at the top of his lungs, punching Bob in the face hearing his nose crunch.  
"Fucking sick bastard!" He yelled punching his jaw again. Hearing Bob groan. Dean was now kneeling over him, grabbing the front of his shirt, and holding his gun up.  
"You think you're so smart don't you?" Dean hissed. And Bob did think that, Dean knew. He pieced everything together as soon as he heard his voice.  
"Well You're not. So before I take your pathetic excuse for a life, I'm taking something else." He moved his gun, pressing it down against Bobs crotch. It was hard. Sick perverted fucking bastard. Bobs eyes widened and he coughed on his own blood.  
"N..no.."  
"Can't use this no more." And Dean shot. Bob screamed, his face going red and then pale, he rolled to his side as Dean watched.  
"You need to realize something." Dean yelled, blood still boiling, watching as Bob tried to move away.  
"No one.. No one! Get's to hurt my brother and live." He stood back up, gun pointed at Bobs head. He didn't even give him the chance to beg before pulling the trigger.

Dean was down on his knees checking Bob's pockets. Sam was chained up. He had to find a key before going over there, because once he was, he knew he wouldn't be able to tear himself away from Sam. Finally. He got the keys scrambling to Sams side. He seemed unfazed by everything that just happened. His hair was dirty and knotted, and he was covered in dirt. His body shaking most likely from shock and all of his injuries. Deans eyes watered but refused to let anything fall.  
"Sammy.." He breathed out. His hands moving to cup his brothers face. Sams head only jerked back, he let out more muffled yells yanking on the chains. Dean really wanted to cry. Even tired and dirty, beaten and.. and tortured. He was still fighting.  
"Sammy.. Sammy please relax." Dean said, his hands going to pull the cloth that was covering his eyes. Sam jerked back again. More muffled yells coming from his mouth. Dean was so close to losing it. But he couldn't. He knelt up, yanking the headphones off of Sam, pulling his brothers head down against his shoulder, despite him trying to pull back, and his weak protests.  
"Sammy it's me.." Dean whispered into his ear, doing his best to keep his voice even but heard it cracking. He couldn't help it. Sammy was here. He was hurt, but he was alive.  
"It's me.. It's Dean. I'm here. I'm here Sammy. I got you. It's just me." He whispered trying desperately to calm his brother down. He felt Sams movements still, his body tensing and then going almost completely slack against him. The next sound he heard was Sams muffled sobs against his shoulder. Dean wrapped his arm around Sam's back. Holding him. Supporting him. His skin felt like ice under his fingers.  
"I'm here." Dean whispered holding Sams shaking frame against his chest. Sam sobbed louder, pushing his face into Deans neck. Dean supporting his full weight now.  
"I've got you.. I've got you.." He whispered, letting some tears fall he was trying so hard to keep back.  
"Big brothers got you... you're safe now."


	5. Chapter 5

Dean didn't want to let Sam go. Not after just finding him, he wanted to keep Sam in his arms forever. Keep him safe, which was actually a little weird. Dean wasn't big on chick flick moments, didn't really hug Sam at all, but once again he brushed it off due to worry. Due to the fact Sam had got taken and was hurt, of course he wanted to keep Sam safe. Sam was his little brother after all.  
He only allowed himself a few moments of holding Sam, whispering reassurances to him. Letting him know he was safe now. Waiting till his sobs quieted, and his breathing was a bit more even. They were both still kneeling on the ground, Dean hadn't even realised he started to rock Sam side to side. He stopped, taking a deep breath. He had to pull himself together now and get Sam out of this hell hole. He pulled back slowly, still having the keys in his hand, hearing a bit of a distressed noise from Sam at the loss of contact.  
"Whoa hey, easy. It's alright Sammy. I'm not going anywhere." His hands were back on Sam, pulling his head gently against his shoulder again then moving to the back of this head, gently untying his blindfold.  
"Not going anywhere. I'm getting you out of here. You're ok." He whispered, his own hands a bit shaky but got the cloth untied from his face gently taking it off and working on the gag next, pulling it off just as gently.  
"There we go Sammy. Breathe now ok? Just breathe for me." He whispered hearing Sam's shaky breathing, hearing him sniffling as his sobs died down. He must've been in so much pain.  
"Just getting these off now." He said reaching up to where his wrists were locked up. He undid the lock, holding his arm so it didn't drop to the ground. He avoiding touching his raw and battered wrist.  
"One more to go, almost done Sammy." He said gently lowering his arm at his side, working on the other hand now. He was surprised to feel Sams hand on his chest, weakly fisting the fabric of his shirt there.  
"Hey now.." Dean said gently, holding his other arm once it was free, lowering it like he did to the other. "I'm here. Right here. You're safe now Sammy, I'm not gonna let anything happen to you ok?" He asked pulling Sam against his chest, feeling his brother's body shake and fuck! He was naked and his skin was still freezing. Dean quickly got his jacket off, wrapping it around his shaking frame. It would have to do for the moment. There were blankets in the trunk of the car he could use. Dean was still a bit worried, Sam hadn't spoken once since he had been there.  
"Hey Sammy, look at me.." He said pulling his head back gently, hearing Sam whimper. Fuck, he needed to be careful, he had no idea where or how bad his brother was hurting. He saw Sam look up at him, his eyes red, bloodshot, and watery, blinking a bit rapidly probably due to the light. He looked broken, and scared. But under all of that still hopeful,  
"Dean?" Sams voice was scratchy and raw. Just barely above a whisper. Dean wished he could bring those five men back to life just to kill them all over again.  
"It's me Sammy, I'm right here little brother." He said gently, doing his best to smile at Sam. "I'm gonna get you out of here ok?.. You think you can walk?" He asked against better judgment. He just wanted to scoop Sam up and carry him out to the car, but Sam was a big guy, this wasn't going to be easy but if Dean had to carry Sam he would.  
Sam winced softly in response his eyes looking to the doorway of the room.  
"Ok no, scratch that." Dean said his hand going to cup Sams cheek. "Any broken ribs? Don't talk just move your head." He said, his other hand going to Sams ribs, gently moving his hand to feel for breaks. Sam bit his lip wincing again. Dean moved his hand back. Fuck. This was going to suck.  
"I'm sorry." He said quietly, wiping the tears away that were still on his brothers cheeks. Fireman's carry. Sam knew it, this was gonna hurt like a bitch.  
"I can put you down once we get upstairs. I'll be quick I promise." He said trying to give his brother a reassuring smile. He leaned over gently pulling Sams body down over his shoulders. Holding onto one of his arms being care of his wrist.  
"Ok. One, two, three." Dean counted off and stood up picking up Sam with him. He heard Sam groan loudly and his body tensed. Dammit, he had to move fast. He made his way out of the room and up the stairs, as quickly and carefully as he could. Sam groaned louder as Dean made it to the front Door. Dean didn't want to put him down till they got to the car.  
"Almost there Sammy." He said moving out the front door and across the front yard to the streetside were baby was parked. Dean carefully placed Sam down once they reached the side of the car, Sams legs almost immediately going out from beneath him.  
"Whoa Whoa!" Deans arms were back around him. One around his waist the other across his chest, hugging him from behind gently. Supporting him as he gently guided Sams body to lean against baby.  
"There you go.." He whispered, his head pressed against the back of Sams shoulder for a moment.  
"Ok.. I'm gonna grab a blanket and you can lay in the back, I'll drive us to.."  
"No.." Sams hoarse voice cut him off.  
"No?" Dean asked his eyebrows raised. "Sammy you have to lay down, I gotta get you to the.."  
"In front.. with you.." Sam coughed dryly and Dean held in a sigh. Sam would've been more comfortable in the back but he wouldn't argue.  
"Ok. In the front." He said slowly moving Sam, and opening the door for him. He helped Sam inside, hearing him groan loudly as soon as he sat down. Fucking hell.  
"Lay on your side.." Dean said helping to reposition him. If he was alone he would've been dry heaving again those bastards! They hurt him in ways Dean never thought would happen. Not to his brother. Dean shut the door going to the trunk and grabbing some blankets. He slowly get into the car, moving the blanket over Sam.  
"There you go Sammy." He said quietly, moving Sams head so it was resting on his lap so he could stretch out more.  
"There you go little brother." He moved his fingers over Sams hair. It was dirty and knotted up and Dean always teased him about it but he loved Sams hair.  
"Let's fix you up."

Dean Started the car and pulled out his phone dialing 911. He pulled back onto the road and started to drive, speeding down the road.  
"I need directions to the nearest hospital." Dean said once someone picked up. He could feel Sam look up at him. "I'm on Granger Road, heading west."  
"There's a hospital about six miles away. Once you get to Genie Drive, just follow the road signs it's not to far off."  
"I need a gurney outside waiting for us when we get there. My brother he.. He's hurt." Dean didn't want to say that word, he couldn't bring himself to say it.  
"De.." Dean glanced down hearing Sam's voice.  
"No.. no hospitals." His voice was so broken. Dean shook his head looking back at the road.  
"We'll be there in fifteen." He said and hung up, putting his phone down then resting his head on Sams shoulder.  
"Sammy do not argue with me about this." Dean didn't want their first conversation to be them fighting.  
"Dean.. please."  
"Sammy Don't."  
"Don't need them.. you can.."  
"No I can't Sammy." Dean words came out a bit harsher than intended, he could feel Sams body stiffen beneath him.  
"I can't.." He took a deep breath. "Not like this Sammy I.. I can't.. We need a hospital this time." Stitching his brother up wasn't a problem. Popping a shoulder back into place, no problem. Helping his baby brother after he had been.. raped. Dean had no idea what to do. Or what they did to him. It didn't matter what Sam wanted at the moment. This is what he needed.  
"I'm sorry." Dean said quietly, his hand going back to Sams hair. "We'll be there soon. Just close your eyes Sammy. Rest." He said. He felt Sams body relax once again. Thank goodness. The last thing he wanted was for Sam to be afraid of him.

They got to the hospital in ten minutes instead of fifteen. Dean wanted to get Sam on anything he could could help with his pain. He parked in front, there were people outside with a gurney. Dean slipped out of his seat carefully. Sam had fallen asleep soon after he told him to.  
"Over here!" Dean called waving them over. He opened the passenger door, leaning over Sam. Not wanting to startle him since he was sleeping. A few nurses rushed up behind Dean as he gently shook Sams arm. He looked over Sams sleeping form, looking over the blanket covering him and his eyes stopped. Right by his ass there was a dark stain forming on the blanket. Oh fuck.. no.  
"Sir?" Dean turned glancing at the nurse then back at Sam, seeing him move around in his sleep.  
"Sammy?"  
Sams eyes flew open and he pushed himself back.  
"Sammy! No, it's just me.." But it wasn't, Dean was pushed aside as one of the male nurses stepped closer pulling Sam out. Dean saw Sams body go tense as he tried pushing back but the nurse pulled him out.  
"Hey easy!" Dean couldn't help but yell. After all Sam had been through they could've been better with him.  
"Sammy. Hey you're ok alright? They're just gonna help you." Dean said as Sam was placed onto the gurney, Dean immediately moving to his side. Sam reached up grabbing Deans arm as soon as he saw him. Dean could see the worry in his eyes.  
"It's alright. I'm right here." Dean said holding onto Sams hand, walking as they pushed the gurney into the hospital.  
"What happened to him?" One of the nurses asked.  
"He.." Dean sighed. "He was raped... I don't know much else besides some possible broken ribs. I found him like this." There was no better cover story sometimes then the truth.  
"Get him into the back room. Then set him up in room fourteen. I'm sorry sir you'll have to stay here." The nurse said. Dean frowned feeling Sams grip on his hand tighten.  
"Look can't I just.."  
"Sir, you can't. We have some papers for you to fill out. You can come back when we're done with his examinations." One of the male nurses stopped Dean from walking and Sams hand slipped from his as they pushed him into the back room. Sam tried to push himself up but was held down by one of the nurses.  
"Dean?" Sams voice was scratchy and laced with worry.  
"Sammy it's fine!" Dean called out although his heart was breaking.  
"I'll be right out here Sam. It's ok. They're going to help you." Dean called as Sam was pushed through swinging doors, the last thing he heard was his brother calling him and the nurses telling him to relax. Dammit. Dean really hated hospitals.


	6. Chapter 6

Dean had no Idea how long he had been sitting in the waiting area. He had finished filling out the forms needed, using their fake insurance along with it. In his mind it had been hours. He didn't check the clock when they both arrived but knew it had been at least an hour since he had been sitting there. It shouldn't take this long to take a few x-rays dammit. Dean sighed rubbing his hands over his face. He was exhausted. He'd had little sleep and no food the past few days, but he'd be damned if the nurse came looking for him while he was out getting coffee or something to eat. After a few more minutes he looked up as someone stopped walking in front of him.  
"Mr. Smith?" Dean stood up.  
"Yeah that's me. Where's my brother?" He asked. He just wanted to see him. Just needed to see that he was comfortable now. That he hopefully felt safe.  
"I'm Doctor Garvin. He's resting. We had to put him out for a bit so we could do some exams on him."  
"What the hell for?" Dean almost yelled. Having to knock Sam out? Why?  
"He was a bit frantic. Kept fighting with the nurses and other doctors. He didn't want anyone touching him. We had to, to calm him down." The doctor explained.  
"Well can I see him now?" Dean asked trying but failing to keep the irritation out of his voice. Of course Sam didn't want these people touching him. After everything he had been through Dean was surprised his brother never flinched at his own touch.  
"In a moment. There's a few things I would like to discus." Son of a bitch.  
"What?" Dean asked rubbing his hand over his face again, but knew what was coming.  
"Well like you said when you came in he was hurt. He has infections in both his wrists and a few other areas. I'll write up some prescriptions and creams you can use to help that.." Fuck. "He also had a few broken fingers, some broken ribs, and a dislocated shoulder. Though we are expecting those to heal fully over time." Dean sighed, hearing everything, but knew the list of injuries would keep going.  
"What else?" He asked softly.  
"A small concussion, but no damage to his brain. And like you also stated when you arrived he was raped. Repeatedly." Dean wanted to throw up, he took a deep breath moving his hands over his face.  
"It'll be hard for him to get around over the next few days so I want him to stay at least for twenty four hours. He has some tearing and bleeding that will heal over time but no solid foods for him for at least a week. I've also taken some samples so we can run some tests for STDs that will.."  
"Stop! Just.. just stop!" Dean couldn't listen to anymore of this or he was gonna lose it right here right now. He rubbed his hands over his face before looking at the Doctor again.  
"I need to see him. Now." He said, he didn't want to put up with this any longer. He needed to see his brother.  
"Room fourteen. He's still sleeping. I'll be in there in a little bit to check up on him and to leave.." Dean started walking around him. He wasn't waiting. Didn't want to hear anymore of that. It broke him hearing the things they had done to Sam. He didn't want Sam waking up without him there.

Dean walked into the room, taking a deep breath and slowly releasing it seeing Sam. He was laying in bed in one of those stupid hospital gowns. Some of his fingers wrapped up and one of his arms in a sling. But he looked more at peace then he did earlier. He was finally getting some rest. Dean walked over to the bed, pulling a chair over to sit beside it. He took Sam's good hand in his, holding it gently, being careful of his fingers. He looked over Sam's face. Still dirty, but cleaner than he had been. He looked tired even in his sleep. Dean sat back in his chair and closed his eyes, his hand never leaving Sam's. Even if he did doze off he'd be on high alert. He wasn't going anywhere until his brother woke up.

Deans eyes opened feeling movement. His eyes going over to the bed seeing Sam stir in his sleep. His eyebrows furrowed and small groans escaping his mouth. Dean moved to sit on the bed next to Sam. Still holding his hand, and cupping his cheek with his free hand.  
"Sammy? Hey, it's ok. You're ok, you're safe now." He said trying to wake him from his sleep. Sam moved his head around on the pillow, he panted softly in his sleep. His eyes shot open and he started hyperventilating, trying to sit up and push Dean away. He was still in a slight daze after being on strong meds to keep his pain down.  
"Hey, hey. Just breathe Sammy it's me. It's just me." And this time it was. It was just them, alone in the room. Dean gently held Sam down, Sam looking up at him, his eyes searching. He slowly relaxed feeling the weight of Deans hand on his shoulder.  
"Dean..?" His voice was still scratchy. His eyes still red, and water. And somehow Dean managed to force a smile.  
"Yeah Sammy it's me." He said sliding his hand from Sams cheek to push his hair behind his ear.  
"I'm right here. Just breathe ok? You're safe now I promise. No ones gonna hurt you. It's just me." He said watching Sams face seeing some tension leave. Sam took a deep shaky breath, though still panting, as he relaxed back against the bed.  
"Dean." He whispered again. Dean smiled for real this time.  
"Right here." He whispered dipping his head down pressing his forehead against Sams. "Deep breaths Sammy. You're safe now." He whispered, wanting his brother to feel safe. Wanting him to try and relax so the machine didn't go off if his heart rate began to skyrocket. Sam closed his eyes, Dean noticed he seemed relaxed by his touches, not tensing at all like the doctor was saying about him not wanting to be touched. He felt Sams hand move to his chest, right over his heart. He smiled again.  
"There you go.." Dean moved his hand over Sam's holding it there, his other hand cupping Sams jaw.  
"Just breathe." And Sam did. Taking shaky breaths until his heartbeat slowed to match Deans. Dean smiled. He had no idea what made him do this but he pulled back slightly, pressing his lips against Sams forehead in a gentle kiss. Full of relief and some happiness. He had his brother back and had found him alive. He pulled back, but still stayed close, looking at him.  
"How are you feeling?" Stupid fucking question. But he wanted to hear it from Sam.  
"..you're real." Dean raised his eyebrows. Uh ok?  
"Yeah Sammy I'm real. They must of gave you some of that good stuff huh?" He asked softly, rubbing his thumb over Sams cheek. Sam just smiled. Actually smiled. It was a bit dopey and his eyes were heavy lidded, but it was still a smile.  
"Real." He repeated. Yeah, he was high as a kite. They must of really doped him up on painkillers dammit. At least he didn't seem to be in pain.  
"Course I'm real.. right here little brother." Dean smiled softly at him.  
"Knew it.. knew you'd come." Sam said quietly, it looked like he was fighting to keep his eyes open.  
"I'll always come for you Sammy. Gotta look after my little brother." He smiled, like he'd ever leave Sam. He'd never abandon him. And he was glad Sam knew it. Glad Sam never lost faith that he would be there.  
"Go back to sleep Sammy ok? I'll be right here when you wake up." Sam nodded slowly, eyes closing instantly. Dean watched him. Seeing the peaceful look on his face. He waited till Sam was back asleep, just watching him breathe. He leaned over again, pressing his lips against Sams forehead again. He couldn't help it. After days of looking and now he was back, he was safe and alive. Dean would make it a point to be with him every step of recovery he had to take. He pulled back, moving back over to the chair, but kept one of his hands on Sams arm. He wanted Sam to know he was there, and wanted to be the first one alerted in case anything were to happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is so short. Hope you enjoyed it anyway.
> 
> Feel free to comment! Suggestions or criticism are always welcome. Though I already plan on how the story plays out.


	7. Chapter 7

Dean stayed by Sams side for hours. The doctor came in to check on him. To make sure his vitals were good and that the medication was helping. He changed the bandages on his wrists and a few other places. Dean watched. He was a bit irritated that Sam was under such heavy medication. He just wanted to be able to talk to his brother. He was so out of it earlier when they spoke. He just kept telling himself Sam was relaxed now. Probably not in much pain either. It had been five hours since Sam was up and he started to stir again. Dean sat up, leaning forward in his seat.  
Sam groaned softly slowly blinking awake and looking around. His eyes flew open and Dean stood slowly, moving over to the bed.  
"Hey." He said quietly, Sam quickly turned his head to the sound of Deans voice, his face relaxing.  
"Dean.." He said quietly, he swallowed and licked his lips clearing his throat. Dean watched and grabbed the cup of water from the table. He sat beside Sam, lifting the cup to his mouth.  
"Here you go. Drink slowly." Dean told him. Sam nodded lifting his head up, Dean moved his other hand to the back of Sams neck, supporting him as he slowly drank. When he finished most of the water Dean pulled it back. Sam took a deep breath and Dean could see it in his features that he was more relaxed.  
'I'll give you more in a minute.." Dean said softly, setting Sams head back down against the bed. He was still sitting next to Sam on the bed, glass still in hand.  
"How are you feeling?" Dean asked softly. "Not in a lot of pain are you? I can call one of the nurses back if you want." He offered although he didn't really want to. He wanted to be able to talk to Sam alone for a minute. To his relief Sam shook his head.  
"No. I'm ok.. Doesn't hurt that much." Sam said and glanced around the room. His eyes searching before landing back on Dean.  
"It was the chief." He whispered. Dean let out a sigh, surprised that Sam hadn't seen his body when he pulled him out of the house.  
"I know." Dean whispered back. "It's ok. I took care of him. Took care of all of them. It's over Sammy, they won't hurt anyone else." Or you, he wanted to add. He saw Sam close his eyes and let out a deep breath. Dean smiled sadly.  
"How long do I have to stay here?" He asked. Dean knew he hated hospitals. He couldn't blame him though.  
"About nineteen more hours. They want to keep you here for a full day." Dean answered. Sam sighed again opened his eyes looking up at Deans face.  
"Are you ok?" Sam asked softly. Dean raised his eyebrows.  
"Of course I'm ok." Dean said a bit confused. Here was Sam laying in the hospital and asking about him. How typical.  
"You have a black eye.." Sam said softly. "..and you look like shit." He said giving Dean a slight smile. Dean grinned down at him, remembering getting hit back at that hell hole. He had ignored the ice pack the nurse had brought in for him to use after refusing to be checked over.  
"You just worry about yourself." Dean told him. "I'm fine."  
"What, no reminder of how awesome you are?" Sam asked, clearly trying to joke around and Dean could've cried. Because despite everything he was still Sam, and he hadn't seemed to change, not like the doctors were saying he might.  
"Why remind you when you already know?" Dean teased back. Sam let out a small chuckle that turned into a cough. He groaned softly, and Deans smile disappeared.  
"Let me get you some more water." Dean patted his arm and stood refiling the glass before returning and holding it back up to his lips. Sam drank gratefully, finishing the whole glass slowly. Dean wondered when was the last time Sam had anything to drink. He set the glass down he was sitting again on the bed next to Sam.  
"You were out of it earlier." Dean said softly as Sam settled back into bed. "Doc has you on some heavy pain meds." Sam's brows furrowed looking up at Dean.  
"I don't remember that." Sam said. "Last thing I remembered was being wheeled into a room and... there were just so many people. I didn't know if we were still in town and who to trust, I just.." Sam shrugged a bit, and Dean knew. Knew Sam was fighting anyone who was touching him. Dean wouldn't judge him for it. Not after everything he'd been through.  
"Yeah, the uh, Doctor told me. He'll probably be back soon. He usually checks in every few hours." Last time he was he he dropped off some pamphlets for rehab centers that Sam could visit. Both for physical and emotional help. Dean threw them all away.  
"Sammy.." Dean said softly, sighing a bit. "What.. what happened back at that house I... I know.. I know everything." He said softly. Sams whole body tensed.  
"No you don't." Sam said avoiding his gaze. "Not everything."  
"I know enough." Dean said his eyes never leaving Sams face. "I figured it out and at the house they.. they had a tape they were watching that..."  
"Stop." Sam said biting his lip. Dean shut his mouth fast. Definitely to damn soon to bring that up. Sam took a deep breath.  
"You said you took care of it.. of them. There's no reason to talk about it."  
"We're gonna have to talk about it sooner or later Sammy." Dean tried to reason.  
"Why?" Sam asked looking up at him, meeting his gaze again. "It's not like we ever talk about things anyway. Why start now?"  
"Because this is different Sam, and you know that." Dean said frustratedly.  
"You never talked when you got back from hell."  
"Sammy, stop.."  
"That's exactly what I asked you to do."  
Dean sighed standing up rubbing his hand over his face. He should've never asked.  
"Look I'm sorry. About everything. About this whole mess. But Sammy.. you know you can talk to me. About anything right?" Sam kept his head down, moving his wrapped up fingers slowly. He didn't answer. Dean sighed again.  
"Ok.. I'm gonna go.." That seemed to catch Sam's attention. He turned his head looking at Dean.  
"Go where?" Sam asked quietly. Dean almosted wanted to take it back. But he wanted the tension to ease out, wanted to give Sam a bit of space.  
"Back to the motel. Pack everything up. It's about a half hour away." Dean said. Sam nodded slowly but he didn't seem to relax at that. If anything he seemed more tense.  
"How long will you be gone?" His voice was still quiet.  
"Hour and a half probably." Sam nodded again. looking down at his lap. He looked almost scared about something, hesitant. He played with the bandage wrapped around his wrist.  
"Can you stay for a little longer?" He asked quietly. Eyes purposely avoiding Deans face. Deans face fell. Not because he wanted to leave but because Sam seemed afraid to ask him. Afraid of him leaving. He was sure there was a bigger meaning behind it but didn't ask.  
"Of course." Dean said softly, moving back to the bed. Sams whole body relaxed. Dean moved over to the bed again, instead of the chair. "Close your eyes Sammy." He said, Sam looked up at him, catching his gaze briefly before looking back down. Closing his eyes. Dean saw the relief in his eyes. His hand found Sams. Holding it gently as Sam tried to ease back into his sleep.  
"Thank you." Sam said tiredly. Dean gently squeezed his hand in response. He sat there for about fifteen minutes until Sam was asleep. Breathing even. Dean watched him. He slowly leaned forward, kissing his forehead gently. He pulled back and whispered.  
"You don't gotta thank me Sammy.. not for anything." He slowly stood up. Slipping his hand out of Sams. He watched him for another minute before leaving the room. He'd do his best to be back sooner then he said.

Of course it did take long. Driving back took a half hour. He get into the motel room and went straight to work. Packing everything of his and Sams quickly. He put everything in the trunk and double checked the room making sure he didn't miss anything. He checked out and drove back out. He drove back to the house that Sam had been taken at. He stopped in front of it just watching it for a second. Nothing seemed different from the night before. It was morning now. The sun was up. Dean was exhausted and his stomach grumbled. He resumed driving. Spitting out the window as the house disappeared in the mirror. Once he got closer to the hospital, he stopped to get something to eat and drink. He also got something for Sam. Just something to drink remembering how the doctor said no solid foods. He get back to the hospital and walked inside heading to Sams room. He was gone for about an hour and forty five minutes. He heard talking in Sams room, he walked in anyway to see the doctor, and a male nurse talking to Sam. Sam didn't look very happy and Dean was glad he got back in when he did.  
"Hey Sammy." He said choosing to ignore the other people in the room. They all looked over at him as he set his stuff down on the table. Sam smiled at him. Obviously happy he was back.  
"Hey." Sam said quietly. Dean smiled at him before acknowledging the other people in the room.  
"Whats going on?" Dean asked, trying to ignore the way Sams face fell, keeping his eyes on the doctor.  
"Well I was just saying how we did our best to clean up your brother earlier. But he is still dirty and tony here offered to help bathe him, but Sams refusing." Doctor Garvin told him. "He would be much more comfortable, and probably feel refreshed if he.."  
"If my brother said no, then the answer is no." Dean said trying not to raise his voice. "If he needs help with something he'll ask. So thanks but no thanks." Dean said pulling the chair back over to Sams bed and sitting next to him. The two men just looked at him. Dean raised an eyebrow. "Anything else?" He asked. A bit annoyed at this point. They both shook their heads and left. Dean watched them then glanced up over at Sam. His face was a bit red and he was staring down at his lap. Dean didn't even have to ask. Sam didn't want some guy touching him, watching him, helping him while he was naked and volnerable.  
"I don't blame you..." Dean said trying to sound casual, "The least they could've done was to get a pretty girl to bathe you." Sam let out a small laugh at that looking over at Dean.  
"You're horrible." He said but smiled. A silent thank you. Dean just shrugged, and reached for his food.  
"I got you something." Dean said and Sam shook his head.  
"I can't have.."  
"I know, that's why I got you this." Dean handed Sam a mango smoothie. He knew Sam liked them a lot. Sam smiled taking it from him.  
"Thank you." He said sipping it.  
"No problem. Thought it would help with your throat to." Dean reached for his own drink and at some of his food. Sam drank some of his smoothie and sighed.  
"Wish I could leave now." He said quietly. Dean shook his head.  
"Not for a while yet. Doctors orders."  
"Since when do you listen to doctors?"  
"Since last night. Now be quiet and drink your smoothie." He said, but there was not heat behind his words. Sam rolled his eyes and shook his head.  
"Jerk."  
"Bitch." They both continued to eat in silence. He knew Sam had to recover, but hopefully after a while they would fall back into their same every day routine. He just wondered how long it would take until then.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a poll in my IG story its @SammyAndDe (No need to follow or even take it) Just wondering if you guys would want the story to stay from Deans POV, or change a bit and make some of it from Sams POV? Let me know what you think!
> 
> Comments, suggestions, and criticism are always welcome, although I do already have the story planned out.


	8. Chapter 8

They both stayed in Sams room for the remainder of the day. Dean staying in the chair and Sam laying in bed. Sam drank a lot of water, and other fluids trying to rehydrate himself. Dean didn't go back out to get anything to eat. He felt a bit guilty eating in front of Sam, he knew once they got back to the bunker he would be ok to eat, while Sam rested in bed. The doctor came in that following night, talking to both Sam and Dean.  
"I thought you said I could leave now." Sam said looking up at the doctor. Dean held in a sigh. He knew Sam wanted to get out of there as bad as he did. But it was already late, maybe waiting for the morning would be better.  
"Just for the night. To make sure your head is ok and to go over some of the x-rays." The doctor told him. Sam sighed and looked at Dean, silently asking him to get him out of this damn place. Dean only smiled sadly.  
"We'll leave in the morning." Dean spoke softly. Sam sighed loudly and the doctor nodded. He finished checking Sam over, changing his bandages. His infections still there but getting better. He then left leaving the brother alone in the room.  
"We could've gone." Sam mumbled, clearly upset to still be here.  
"One more night. We'll leave first thing in the morning." Dean told him. Sam only sighed again. "Look Sammy. I'm sorry, just rest now. We have a lot of driving to do in the morning and.."  
"That's why we should go now." Sam interrupted. Dean looked at him confused and before he could ask Sam spoke again. "When's the last time you had a shower?" He asked looking at Dean. "Something to eat? Somewhere comfortable to sleep? You've been sitting in that chair for over a day, and now you're gonna be sitting there tonight." Deans jaw almost dropped open. That's what this was about? Here Sam was laying in a hospital bed after being beat and tortured. Violated and more scars added to his collection and he was worried about how uncomfy Dean would be? Damn.  
"Sammy.." Dean said softly, he could see guilt on Sams face as he brother played with his bandages. Guilt for no good reason. He wanted that gone.  
"Listen to me." He said gently, moving his hand to lightly grab Sams arm. "I'm choosing to be here. Choosing to sit here. Sure I could go and sleep in a motel, but I don't want to. I'm fine staying here. I've gone longer without sleep in more uncomfortable places and nothing to eat. Don't worry about me. I told you already I'm fine."  
"Yeah.." Sam scoffed softly. "..and who's fault is it that you're choosing to stay here?" He asked bitterly. Deans eyes widened. He was blaming himself. Dammit!  
"Not yours." Deans voice raised. "Don't do that Sammy. Don't you start blaming yourself. None of this is your fault." He stated, but the look on Sams face didn't change. Dean sighed opening his mouth again but stopped hearing Sam mumble.  
"At least lay down on the bed with me tonight. You won't complain about your stiff neck while you're diving." Dean shut his mouth licking his lips. He'd let that go for now because it was late and they both needed sleep.  
"The nurses probably won't like that." He said, he knew even sitting close to Sams bed he got in the way sometimes. But he didn't care.  
"So what. The bed is big enough and you'd be more comfortable here." Well that was a stretch. It wasn't that big but he could fit if the both moved to a side. Dean sighed.  
"Alright. Move over sasquatch." He said pushing the chair away and sitting on the side of the bed. Sam gave him a small smile and moved over slowly. Dean watched, hand hovering in case he needed to help. Dean laid down once Sam moved over. This was much better than the chair.  
"Thanks Sammy." Dean said softly. "Get some sleep. And I don't want you complaining if I kick you in my sleep, this was your idea." He said jokingly. He heard Sam chuckle and he smiled.  
"Good night Jerk." Was all he said.  
"Good night Bitch." It didn't take long for either of them to fall asleep. Dean being exhausted and Sam feeling safer with his brother right by his side.

They both slept fine throughout the night. Not waking up to any unpleasant dreams or discomfort. Dean woke up before Sam, a bit startled. Dean was laying on his back and Sam was pressed against his side. Sams head resting on his shoulder. Dean just looked for a moment, watching as Sam slept peacefully. They must've shifted in their sleep. As comfortable as he was the sun was up and he knew Sam wanted to leave. Dean slowly slid out from underneath Sam. He was able to stand up without waking him up. He smiled and leaned over the bed gently shaking him.  
"Sammy?" He said quietly. Sam moved his head humming softly. He slowly opened his eyes blinking up at Dean.  
"Hey." Sam smiled softly. Dean grinned.  
"Morning." He said softly. "The doc should be in to check on you soon. I'm gonna head to the bathroom then out to the car and get you a change of clothes. I'll get something for both of us on the drive out alright?" Sam nodded, smiling slightly up at him.  
"Alright, sounds good." He said. Dean nodded and turned to leave the room, only to hear his name be called.  
"Dean?" He turned back to face Sam.  
"Yeah Sammy?" Sam held Deans gaze for a moment before talking.  
"Thank you." He said quietly. Dean stood there and shook his head. He didn't want Sam thanking him. Not for anything.  
"You're welcome." He said instead.

After using the bathroom He went out to the car. He made sure to grab Sams duffle bag, not the weapons bag, and headed back inside. He walked back to Sams room. He could hear talking outside of the door way.  
"..testing.. STDs... few days....... call you.." Dean felt sick all over again. If any of those men had given his brother.. Dean took a deep breath and walked into the room.  
"Hey. We good to go doc?" He asked walking up to the bed, dropping the bag by his side. The doctor looked over at him then down at the chart.  
"Yes, I suppose everything is in order. If you have any questions or if the pain gets worse, please don't hesitate to call. I'll leave the number up front with a few prescriptions I've written down. I hope you have a quick recovery." He said looking at Sam then turned to leave the room.  
"Thank you." Sam said a he left. Dean didn't say anything else but noticed a wheelchair in the room.  
"Alright. Let's get you out of that nightgown and into something more comfortable." Dean said crouching down, opening the bag.  
"You're hilarious." Sam said flatly. Dean just hummed. He pulled out some boxers sweatpants and a tee shirt, standing back up. He hesitated and walked closer to Sam.  
"Do you need me to... you need any help?" He asked setting the clothes in Sams lap. Sam sighed.  
"No." He said quietly.  
"You sure?"  
"No, I'm not sure." Sam said, but Dean could tell Sam wanted to dress himself, he didn't want to be babied.. but he may not have a choice with it.  
"Ok." Dean said quietly, he turned walking into the room a bit to look out of the window, trying to give Sam some privacy. He heard the sheets and clothes being moved around, along with Sams small groans. It took everything in him to not turn around and help dress his brother. He couldn't stand hearing Sam in pain. He wanted to do everything he could to help but not constantly ask to the point of annoyance. It was bound to happen though. Sam was so damn stubborn and Dean worried, and he had every right to.  
"Uh.. Dean?" Dean turned looking at Sam. He had gotten his boxers and pants on, but he seemed tired now. Sams torso was wrapped up a bit. Some to help with his ribs, and some for other injuries.  
"Can you uh.." He was holding his shirt, taking his sling off with his other hand. His shoulder was back in place, but still sore. The doctor didn't want him using it much.  
"Yeah sure." Like Dean would say no. He moved over to the bed. Helping Sam slide his arm through the armhole in the shirt then moved it over his head.  
"Thank you." Sam said getting his other arm through. Dean put the sling back over his neck.  
"You don't gotta thank me Sammy." He said this time. He was tired of hearing it. Like him helping his brother was some big deal.  
"Yes I do." Sam said putting his arm into place, slowly moving his legs over the side of the bed, biting his lip and wincing softly as he pushed himself sitting upright. Dean not realizing he was holding his breath watching him.  
"No. You don't." He said moving the wheelchair over to the bed. Sam glared at it, earning a small snort from Dean.  
"You're not walking. Get in, I promise not to do any wheelies." That got a chuckle from Sam and Dean smiled.  
"You better not.." He mumbled, trying to be serious but Dean could still see his grin. He helped Sam into the chair. He picked up the duffle bag and rolled Sam out to the front of the hospital.  
"See? No wheelies." He said as they made it to the front desk. He picked up the prescription and they headed to the parking lot.  
"Oh lucky me." Sam said sarcastically. Dean grinned.  
"I could always run you through the parking lot. That would be fun." He said but wouldn't chance it, not with Sam still hurt. Sam shook his head.  
"I think I'll take a rain check." He said as Dean walked over to the car.  
"That was my only offer. You've missed your chance." Dean said as they got to the car, parking the wheelchair and taking the dufflebag to the trunk.  
"Oh what a shame." Sam said sarcastically, slowly pushing himself up. Dean moved back over to his side, one hand on his back the other on his good elbow. He heard Sam sigh. Yep. Sam was going to get annoyed by his helping really fast.  
"Do you want to lay in the back?" Dean asked. He knew it still hurt for Sam to sit. He didn't want him sitting for hours as they drove. He would stop if Sam needed to but he wanted Sam comfortable. Sam sighed again. He stood glancing at the back and then at the passenger side. Keeping his eyes there.  
"It's whatever you want." Dean told him.  
"..let me sit up front." Sam spoke softly. Dean licked his lips taking a deep breath.  
"You should probably lay down like last time.  
"Alright." Thank God he didn't argue with him on that one. He unlocked the door and helped Sam inside. Shutting the door and walking the wheelchair back into the hospital. He went back to the car, sliding into his seat and closing the door. He sighed seeing Sam crunched up again in the seat.  
"Come here." He said tapping Sams shoulder, guiding Sam to stretch out a bit, his head back in Deans lap. Sam went along with it.  
"You don't have to.." He said softly.  
"Oh quiet.." Dean said dismissively. "..gotta give ya some room to stretch out those giant legs of yours." Sam smiled and closed his eyes shaking his head.  
"Thank.."  
"Shush. Get some rest Sam, I got a lot of driving to do. If you drool on me in your sleep I'm cutting your hair." Sam just grinned.  
"Bite me."  
"Don't tempt me Sammy" Sam grinned wider, Dean smiled and started his car, he let his hand fall down to the side of Sams neck, rubbing it gently.  
"I'll wake you up when I stop to get us something." He said as he pulled out of the parking lot, heading onto the road. Sam nodded but said nothing else. Dean was glad Sam was still himself. He knew he may have to watch what he said around him. Also how much he'd have to help Sam the first few days back. Sam fell asleep shortly, resting against his brother, listening to the familiar sound of the engine. He always felt safer with Dean than with anyone else. He was so grateful he had Dean there to help him. He knew he wouldn't be able to make it without him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It seemed a lot of you wanted more of Sams POV.
> 
> I'm going to wait until they're back at the bunker before doing that. It's still going to be mostly from Deans POV but I'll be sure and add more of Sams into it.
> 
> Comments, suggestions and criticism are always welcome! Although I do already have this story planned out.


	9. Chapter 9

The drive heading back to the bunker went pretty well, at least in Deans opinion. He stopped a few times to get something small for himself to eat, and lots of water and juice for Sam. He was at a gas station filling up. They had been making pretty good time. They'd be back at the bunker before dark, just a few more hours. Sam slept a lot, which was understandable. After everything he had been through of course he would be tired, plus the medication hadn't worn off yet. He'd probably be tired for the next few days.  
"Hey Dean?" Dean finished filling up looking into the window at Sam.  
"What is it Sammy?" He asked seeing a conflicting look in his face.  
"I uh.. I gotta.. can you help inside?" Sam asked a bit embarrassed. "Gotta take a leak." Dean just smiled softly.  
"Sure, no problem." He moved around to Sams side of the car, opening the door and slowly helping him out. Once he got Sam to his feet he moved his arm around Sams waist, being careful of his ribs, moving his hand to Sams hip. Sam moved an arm around Deans shoulders, leaning against him for support.  
"Thank you." He said softly, as Dean helped him walk into the gas station slowly.  
"You gotta stop thanking me man." Dean said shaking his head. "It's fine, it's no big deal." He said as the entered the station, he walked Sam over to the bathroom and he sighed. Dean could feel his body was tense. He knew Sam was still in pain, he'd be in pain for a while. He knew he'd be helping Sam around for the next few days. He walked Sam into the bathroom, making sure he could stand ok on his own.  
"I'll be right outside just.. call if you need anything." Dean said trying not to make this awkward for Sam when really, having your big brother help you into the bathroom so you could piss was kinda awkward. Sam nodded and Dean left the room. He shut the door standing in front of it. Almost straining to listen. No it wasn't creepy, he told himself. He was just trying to look out for his brother. He heard Sam finish his business and then the water running at the sink. He moved away from the door once the water stopped running. It took a few more moments before the door slowly opened and he glanced up at Sam. He looked a bit pale and was biting his lip hard. Well fuck. Bedrest for him it would be.  
"Come on." Dean was back at his side, arm around him, helping him back to the car. "Let's lay you down. Sleep until we get home." Sam nodded, taking deep breathes.  
"Yeah.. sounds good." His voice was a bit strained. Dean sighed. They made it out to the car and Dean helped him inside and got into the car himself. He moved Sams head back onto his lap looking down at him. Sam took a deep breath and relaxed, eyes closed. Dean moved his hand to Sams hair. Gently moving his fingers through his still partly dirty and knotted hair. He was careful not to tug at the knots, gently combing out parts of his hair. He didn't even realize he had been sitting there for a few minutes until he heard Sam talk.  
"Shouldn't you be driving?" He asked tiredly, his eyes still closed. Dean smiled softly. Sam was right, but he seemed more relaxed now, and although he'd never admit it, he actually enjoyed playing with his brothers hair.  
"Just trying to make you look pretty." He smirked, rubbing his fingertips against Sams scalp, earning a small smile from Sam. Dean started the car and continued the drive back to the bunker.

Getting Sam into the bunker was not easy. So many damn stairs. He could feel Sams body tense as he helped him walk down them. By the time they got to the bottom Sam was breathing heavily and trying his best not to wince, but Dean heard him. The sun had just started setting and Dean was tired. Really tired. So much driving and worrying but now that they were both home, he could relax.. just not at the moment. "Come on. Just a bit further to your room." He helped Sam slowly as they made their way down the hall and to his bedroom. Once inside he helped Sam down onto the bed, Sam couldn't help but let out a soft groan and let out a deep breath. Dean smiled sadly at him. He went over to Sam pulling off his shoes to make him more comfortable. He knew he had to get Sams prescriptions to help. He has all the bandages and a few creams already that would help for the infections for his pain he didn't want to use the pills they already had. He wanted Sam to get better as fast as he could. He'd do it in the morning though. Most places around here started closing soon, and he really didn't want to leave Sam just yet.  
Sam felt Dean pulling off his shoes. He sighed softly. He felt so much better that was back in there so called home, he still thought of it as a fortress more than anything. He was hurting. A lot. More then he wanted to admit to Dean. In places he never though would hurt, and didn't think it would affect his walking so much. He planned on staying in bed for a while. No reason to get up and do anything yet. once his shoes were off he looked over at Dean.  
"Thank you." He said quietly. Dean just shook his head.  
"Sammy, you don't have to keep thanking me." Oh yes he did. His brother had just saved his life for the millionth time. He'd never pay Dean back for everything he'd done.  
"Yes I do." He said. Dean didn't realize how much he did. He did to much. And instead of going to his room here he was again. Right by his bedside making sure he was ok. "You should get some sleep." He said before Dean could reply, before his brother would say again it wasn't a big deal. Because it was. Everything that just happened was a big deal and if he didn't have Deans help Sam had no idea how he would cope. He probably wouldn't. He probably would've died in that basement if his brother hadn't been smart about this. Something else Dean didn't think he was but Sam knew. His brother was smart. Very smart. Yet Dean always denied it. Saying Sam was the smart one while he was just the grunt. It made Sam sad to think of how little Dean thought of himself.  
"I will in a second." Dean said and started To cover Sam up. Sam fet guilty. Dean shouldn't have to do this. Shouldn't have to deal with him like this, but he did.  
"There.." Dean said walking over to Sams bedside table, setting a bottle of water down on it. "..Ok. Get some sleep. I'm right down the hall. Just call if you need me." He said squeezing Sams good shoulder lightly.  
"Thank you. I will." But he wouldn't. He wouldn't bother Dean at all unless it was absolutely necessary. Dean smiled, fingers rubbing his shoulder lightly. Sam relaxed more and Dean pulled back.  
"I'll get your prescription in the morning. Sleep well Sammy." And with that he was heading out of the room.  
"Night Dean." Sam called softly. Dean shut the door partially, not all the way. Sam was glad for that. He settled into bed and closed his eyes. He was safe now. He was home now. Dean was with him. He was ok. It was ok to relax now. He took a few deep breaths repeating those things over and over in his head. It helped when Dean said them, but not so much thinking them. He took a few deep breaths and after a few minutes eventually drifted off to sleep.

Dean couldn't sleep yet. He did for a little bit, but it wasn't a peaceful sleep. He tossed and turned for about two hours after putting Sam to bed. He slept on and off for two hours after that. But sleep never fully came for him. He got up out of bed with a sigh, it was past midnight. He padded into the kitchen. Sweatpants and a t-shirt on. He couldn't help the sinking feeling in his stomach. The look on Sams face when he left. Guilt. Still so much guilt. He should've finished their conversation earlier at the hospital. Talked to him more to make him understand none of this was on him. None of it was his fault. Dean pulled out a glass and poured some whiskey into it. Not alot. Hell no he wasn't going to get drunk when Sam could barely walk. How could he help his brother then? He was just trying to find some relief for himself. Try to calm himself down. His mind going back to the part of the conversation he heard Sam having with his doctor. STDs. Fuck. He hadn't even thought of that until the doctor brought it up. He knew it would take a while before the results came in. He was just silently praying that Sam wouldn't have one. Didn't want his brother carrying something around with him to remind him of what had happened. Dean didn't know how bad Sam would be either. He didn't want people touching him, not even doctors. Dean was ok with that just because Sam seemed to relax whenever Dean touched him, not tense like when other people did. He took a sip of his whiskey, letting out a soft breath feeling it go down his throat and into his stomach. He was losing himself in deep thought. He stood there for a while, leaning against the table until..

"NO!! STOP!!!" 

Deans eyes flew open, letting the glass slip from his hand as he ran out of the kitchen. He heard the glass shatter as he ran down the hallway to his brothers room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliffhanger. :*
> 
> Feel free to comment! Suggestions and criticism are always welcome.


	10. Chapter 10

"Damnit, damnit, damnit..." Dean repeated as he ran into Sams room panicking. He shouldn't of left. He should've stayed with Sam. He should've known this would happen. He went in through the door way seeing Sam thrashing around in his sleep. That wasn't good for his shoulder, or his ribs damnit. Dean sat down on the bed, pressing down on his good shoulder, trying to keep him still.  
"Sammy? Sammy! Wake up.." He said shaking him lighty. Sam turned his head groaning.  
"Stop.. Don't want it.. stop!" He cried out in his sleep.  
"Sammy! Wake up!" Dean tried again, a little less gently, he just wanted him awake. Wanted Sam to know he was ok. Sam let out a few more grunts, turning his head back and forth. His eyes then flew open and he tried pushing himself up, pushing Dean away.  
"No! Stop! Don't touch me! Get away!" He yelled, still in a slight daze. Dean bit his lip trying to keep himself calm, he quickly slid closer to Sam grabbing his good arm.  
"Sam! Sammy it's me. It's just me. You're ok. You're home now." He said as gently, yet firmly as possible. Sam stopped fighting him, looking at Dean in the dark. He glanced around the room, breathing heavily, eyes wide, his face sweaty and cheeks red. Dean slowly moved his other hand up to cup his cheek.  
"Just me.. it's just me Sammy I'm here. You're ok." He said rubbing his cheek lightly. Sam looked back at him. His eyes were watering and he was shaking, still breathing heavily.  
"Dean?.." He whispered softly. Dean nodded. Sam was finally fully awake.  
"Just me. I'm right here. You're safe now Sammy, you're ok." He whispered, watching Sams face. Sam looked so scared, so vulnerable even now. That must've been a really bad dream if he woke up this bad. Sam take a few shaky breaths, his eyes never leaving Dean face.  
"Dean.." He choked out, his voice catching a sob in his throat and he leaned forward, pressing himself against Dean, wrapping his arms around the only source of comfort he'd ever know. Sam pressed his face into Deans neck, his fingers gripping onto his shirt, pulling Dean closer as he began to cry against his brothers skin. Dean was his safety. Dean was his home. He was safe, Sam thought to himself. He was safe because Dean was here and Dean would always look after him.  
Dean wrapped his arms back around Sam the second he heard Sams crying. One arm firmly around his back. The other hand to the back of his head, gently rubbing his scalp, his fingers lightly tangled in Sams long hair.  
"I've got you little brother, I'm right here." He whispered, turning his head, his lips closer to Sams ear.  
"'M right here. You're safe Sammy, just breathe for me." He whispered, Sams arms around him were so tight, the way he was clinging onto him worried Dean. This wasn't good for his injuries and he knew was was still scared.  
"Come on.. come on." Dean moved them slowly. He managed to slide himself up on the bed, Still holding Sam against his chest. He laid on his back pulling Sam down with him and he went willingly, Sam now resting against his side and chest.  
"There we go, just breathe baby boy, just breathe." He whispered into Sams hair, letting the old nickname slide. He rubbed his hand slowly up and down Sams back, his body still shaking.  
Sam kept his head on Deans shoulder, face pressing into his neck. Deans soft touches helping him calm down, helping him come back to reality. It wasn't much better then the nightmares because they weren't just nightmares. They had happened. It was real life he was living in those dreams and he hated it, hated hearing those voices and seeing those faces when he closed his eyes. He let out another quiet sob and heard Dean whispering to him.  
"Shh, you're safe now. You're safe. I promise you Sammy you're safe now. No one's gonna hurt you. No one's gonna touch you. It's just me. Just you and me baby boy." Baby boy. Sam hadn't heard that in years. He wasn't going to complain. Dean used to call him that all the time when he was little. He missed it when Dean stopped. Sam took more comfort in those words, in his touches, his shaking and crying slowly stopping.  
"There you go Sammy, just keep breathing. You're doing just fine." Sam took a few shaky breaths. He was still tired, and his side was killing him now because of all of his moving. He took deep breaths inhaling Dean. His home, his brother, his savor.  
"Dean?" He whispered, his voice quiet. Dean looked down at him, he looked so worn out. That episode must've taken a lot out of him. He leaned down, kissing the top of Sams head.  
"Just sleep Sammy ok? I'm right here. I'll be right here." Sam moved his hand resting it on Deans chest, lightly fisting his shirt.  
"Promise?" Sam asked quietly, he didn't want Dean to leave yet. He felt Dean kiss his head again, his hand still moving against his back gently, soothingly, helping to put him to sleep.  
"I promise." Dean whispered. He wouldn't leave Sam. Not now. Not tonight.  
"I'll be right here when you wake up. Just sleep." He whispered playing with his hair lightly. Sam nodded slowly. Eyes already closed. Truth be told he didn't want to sleep, He didn't want to hear those voices or see those faces again. But Dean was here. And Dean would keep him safe. So he let himself go, let himself drift off into Deans secure hold, falling into what he hoped would be a dreamless sleep.

Dean Laid in bed, arms never leaving Sam. His movements stilled but he kept his arm around his brothers back. His other hand still lightly playing with Sams hair. Dean took a few deep breaths keeping himself calm, trying to, but he failed. Tears slowly rolled down his cheeks. Who the hell could blame him. His Sammy, in so much pain, having to live with whatever memories he had of that place, certainly not good ones. He leaned his head down pressing another long, gentle kiss to the top of his head. His hair was still a mess, still dirty and sweaty, but Dean buried his face in it anyway. Inhaling deeply, and a bit shakily, of Sam. His brother, who was broken but still alive, and here. Back where he belonged. Home and in his arms. Dean realizing now how he didn't want to go, didn't want to leave Sam. He wanted to hold his brother, he wanted Sam to feel safe.  
"I'm sorry." Dean whispered not disturbing his brothers sleep.  
"I'm sorry this happened, and I'm sorry you're hurting. I'm not gonna leave you. I'm gonna be here every step of the way. I promise little brother." He whispered. He felt Sams chest against his, Felt the small weight of his hand on his chest. His shirt slipping out of his brother limp grip, but his hand never moved.  
"Right here.. 'm right here with you." He said softly, his own eyes closing, sleep seeming to find him now. He fell asleep to the sounds of his brothers soft breathing. This was nowhere near resolved yet, but talking again could wait till morning. Right now Dean was more then ok with sleeping, knowing his brother was safe in his arms.


	11. Chapter 11

Dean woke up the next morning feeling an unfamiliar warmth against him, and a slight weight on his chest. He slowly opened his eyes to see Sam resting against him. He smiled looking down at Sam then looked over at the clock. It was the next morning. Sam was still in the same position he was from the previous night. He hadn't gotten up. Dean smiled looking down at him. He seemed relaxed, at peace. No trace of any nightmares now. He laid there for a few moments just watching him sleep, not wanting to wake him just yet. He knew he had to head out to get his meds, so after a few minutes he began moving his hands again. One up and down slowly on his brothers back, the other in his hair.  
Sam was sleeping peacefully, no dreams, but it was such a good sleep. He felt safe and relaxed. He slowly woke feeling movement around him, feeling a hand on his back. It felt nice and gentle. Soothing. He held his breath for a moment, a slight panic. Forgetting for a second who was with him and where he was until..  
"Morning Sammy." Sam let out his breath, not opening his eyes yet. Dean was still here. He hadn't left last night, he hadn't woken up to an empty bed like he thought he would.  
"Morning." Sam mumbled, head resting on Deans shoulder. This should feel awkward, but it didn't it felt right.  
"I gotta head out soon." Dean told him softly, fingers still playing with his hair.  
"Gotta get your prescription filled. Maybe pick up a few things on the way back." He knew he couldn't get Sam any food but he'd try and get him some good juices and other drinks Dean wondered how he liked. Nothing green and healthy ever tasted good to him.  
"Ok." Sam said softly, slowly blinking awake.  
"What time is it?" He asked rubbing a hand over his face.  
"Almost nine." Dean told him. He gave Sam a small squeeze and slowly moved out from under him sitting at the edge of the bed. He felt a strange sense of reluctance to move away from him. He missed being that close, and he knew he shouldn't.  
"I won't be gone too long." He told Sam. "Your phone is over here, and there's some water by it. Just let me know if there's anything you need before I leave."  
"My phone?" Sam asked looking up at Dean. Shit they never talked about this. Sam didn't have a clue how Dean found him.  
"Yeah, I found your phone and your jacket when you.." He didn't want to bring this stuff up so early. Especially right before leaving.  
"We'll talk when I get back." He said smiling softly at Sam.  
"Ok." Sam nodded looking up at his brother. He thought he lost his phone. Well, that it was destroyed at least. His jacket and the clothes he was wearing to.  
"No I uh.. I don't need anything." Even if Sam did he wouldn't ask. Dean had done enough last night and even now he was doing more for Sam. Stuff he shouldn't have to do.  
"But thank you.. for last night.. I just.." Sam dropped his gaze, embarrassed. He was acting like a baby, he knew it. Dean was probably already getting sick of helping him.  
"Like I said, we'll talk when I get back." Dean said giving his shoulder a small squeeze.  
"And you're welcome, but you don't gotta thank me. It's really no trouble Sam." Sam thought that was a lie. Dean was probably so sick of him already.  
"Alright. See you when you get back." He smiled softly up at Dean. He watched as his brother stood up, glancing back at him before walking out of the room.  
"See ya soon." He called. Dean hated leaving Sam alone so soon. He knew Sam was a grown man but fuck, what if he had another nightmare while he was gone? What if he hurt himself trying to do something on his own because knowing Sam he would probably try. To damn stubborn for his own good. He quickly changed, He knew he should shower but that could wait till he got back. He headed out to the car hoping this would be a quick trip.

Once Sam heard Dean leaving he sighed. Dean was probably still tired and there he was running around doing stuff for him. Sam felt so guilty. This was all his fault. His fault Dean was tired, his fault Dean was watching over him like a baby, his fault that this whole mess happened. He stayed in bed, not falling back asleep. It still hurt like a bitch to move around a lot. His ribs and his ass still hurting a lot. He was hoping the meds would help. He was usually good with pain. He could suck it up and be fine but this.. this was different. And again he blamed himself for not sucking it up and being a baby about it. It had been awhile since Dean had left. Sam decided he didn't want to be a nuisance and ask Dean for help. He had to pee, and he smelled horrible. He'd get himself up, get to the bathroom, take a quick piss and shower before Dean got back. He slowly pushed himself up. Wincing as he did. Easier said than done.

It took over an hour for them to fill the prescription, so Dean did a little shopping while waiting. Getting some basic food and some juices and other healthy drinks that Sam liked, yuck, and then headed back to the bunker. He went back inside and headed towards the kitchen. It was quiet. Maybe Sam fell back asleep. He started putting some of the food away when he heard some noises coming from down the hall. He stopped.  
"Sammy?" He called facing the doorway. There was no answer. He sighed, going with his gut and headed down the hall to Sams room.  
"Sa.." His name died on his lips. He stood in the doorway to Sams room. Welcomed by an empty bed.  
"Sam?" He said, he walked into the room seeing a light on in the bathroom, the door shut almost all the way. He always gave his brother privacy, but in this case, things were different. He walked over to the door pushing it open slowly. He froze seeing Sam on the floor, sitting on the ground, his back pressed against the wall and his pants down around his legs.  
"Sammy.." He moved over to Sams side crouching down.  
"What happened are you ok?"  
Sam looked up at Dean as soon as he heard Dean walk into the room. He was so ashamed. He couldn't even undress without fucking up. He fell hard and his ass and side hurt even more. He felt Deans hands on his face and as much as it comforted Sam, it also caused so much guilt.  
"Stop it." Sam said pushing his brothers hands away, coming off more irritated then he meant to.  
"I can do this myself." Dean stayed there, hands frozen in the air, he took a deep breath. Yeah. Sam was being stubborn.  
"I know you can. Even now you probably can." Dean said as gently as he could, trying not to lose his cool.  
"But that doesn't mean you have to. Just let me help you up, get you back in bed and we can.."  
"No! I told you I don't need help! You don't have to be in here. Just.. go. Go shower or sleep or whatever else you need to do." Sam cut him off. Dean furrowed his eyebrows.  
"I'm not leaving you here on the floor Sam." He said, raising his voice a bit. He knew Sam was probably in pain sitting like that.  
"Just let me help you up."  
"No!" Sam said again frustratedly. He didn't want Dean feeling like he needed to help. He didn't want Dean doing everything for him He did to much already, he was just causing more trouble and problems.  
"Sammy stop it." Dean said barley keeping his voice under a yell. His hands moving to grab Sams arm and shoulder as gently as he could, only to have Sam push his arms away.  
"No! I can do it! You don't have to help. You don't have to do everything for me. I should be able to take a fucking shower without my brother watching over me. You shouldn't have to do this!" Deans jaw almost dropped, his face softening. First off, a shower? If anything he should be taking a bath. It would be easier. And Dean could see it in his face now. Guilt. So much guilt. Fuck.  
"Sammy." Dean said softly.  
"This isn't your fault. None of this.. any of it. None of this is on you." Dean kept his voice as gentle as possible. Sam dropped his gaze avoiding Deans eyes. Dean licked his lips letting out a small sigh.  
"Let's get you back in your room. I think we need to talk." Dean knew they had to talk.  
"You don't have to." Sam whispered, his head still down.  
"I know that." Dean said just as quiet.  
"But I want to." He slowly moved towards Sam again, helping him up, wrapping an arm around him. Sam didn't fight him this time. He let Dean lead him into his room. He wasn't looking forward to this talk.


	12. Chapter 12

Dean helped Sam back into bed, laying him down. Dean sat on the bed facing him while Sam avoided his gaze.  
"We need to talk." Sam kept his gaze down. He couldn't, he didn't want to talk. Didn't want to tell Dean what had happened.  
"I don't want to.. I don't want to talk about it." Sam mumbled, playing with the sheets, keeping his head down. Dean sighed.  
"Look.. you don't have to tell me everything." He said gently.  
"There's just a lot.. a lot of blanks Sam. For both of us. I'll tell you some stuff but.. There's stuff I'd really like you to tell me."  
"Trust me, you don't want to know." Sam spoke quietly.  
"Ok, I'll start." Dean said, hoping Sam would feel more comfortable talking one he did.  
"When you didn't come back to the motel I went over to the library. It was already closed. Noone was there and the only car was baby. I called you and heard your phone ringing. I went to the back of the building and there was your phone and jacket laying there." He told him.  
"I had no idea where you were and I spent the night looking for you.. what happened? There was no security cameras there." Dean asked. Sam sighed, he felt so bad. Dean had been looking for him for so long.  
"I.. I tried to fight them." Sam began.  
"Once I left one of them came up to me.. said his friend was getting mugged in the back or something.. I don't know. I just went, and there were three guys waiting for me." Sam thought back looking at the wall rather than at Dean.  
"I got a few good hits in, I didn't think they'd get me but.. someone hit me hard in the back of my head. Felt like a pipe or something. When I finally came to I was.. well.. That place was the only place they kept me." Ok, so that made sense. It would take a lot for someone to knock his brother out. Dean nodded slowly.  
"Well I figured everything out. All minus the chief anyway. Didn't know that until I was there."  
Sam tensed slightly at the mention of him.  
"He.. he was the one in charge. He ran everything. He said it was the perfect cover, and no one would ever suspect him." Sam said quietly.  
"He said you'd never find me either. I told him he was wrong. That you would, he'd just laugh and then he.." Sam trailed off, his face falling even more. Dean saw so much guilt in his brothers face.  
"Well you were right. I did find you. Kept looking over the files like you were, pieced some things together and well... you know I'd always come looking for you." Dean smiled softly, but the look on Sams face didn't change.  
"I'm sorry.." Sam whispered. "I'm so sorry this happened. I should've been more careful. I should've fought harder. I didn't mean for this to.."  
"Sammy." Dean cut him off. "None of this is your fault. You can't be blaming yourself for all of this." Sam still avoided his gaze.  
"It is.. and I'm sorry."  
"Sammy enough!" Dean said raising his voice.  
"You didn't do anything wrong! None of this is on you. It was that damn chief and those other bastards who are to blame. Not you!" He said. He had no idea how his brother could think these things.  
"But it is.." Sam argued pushing himself up facing Dean, he winced slightly and Dean reached over to help but Sam just pushed his hand away.  
"Stop! Just stop helping! I told you, you don't need to keep doing this!" Sam told him. Dean sighed, they were back to this again.  
"And I told you, I know I don't have to help you. I want to help you."  
"You shouldn't have to. You shouldn't be treating me like a damn baby when I should just be sucking it up and.."  
"I NEVER told you to do that Sam. This isn't something you just get over!" Dean raised his voice.  
"Stop blaming yourself! None of this is on you! It's not like you actually wanted this to happen did you?" Dean asked as if it was obvious that this wasn't the case. Sams reaction shocked him.  
Sams eyes flew open and he he looked at Dean almost panicking.  
"No! I didn't want this! You have to believe me, I didn't want any of it." Sam said desperately. Deans eyes slowly widened. Why the hell would Sam think that he wouldn't believe him? That he would blame him? And most importantly why would he ever think that Sam wanted any of this to happen?  
"Of course I believe you." He said gently, moving his hand to cup Sams cheek.  
"Sammy why would you ever think that I'd think differently. Of course you didn't want this. Who the hell would? This isn't your fault. Why do you think that?" He asked as gently as possible.  
Sam held his brothers gaze before dropping it after a minute. He was so ashamed. So embarrassed. He didn't want Dean to know things, but once he told Dean a few things.. or at least tried to, hopefully Dean wouldn't look at him differently. Wouldn't judge him. And most importantly, wouldn't hate him. Sam sighed and slowly moved to pull his shirt off. Dean stared at him confused.  
"Sammy, what are you.."  
"Just look at my back." Sam mumbled. "Then you'll know." Dean was still confused but didn't say anything. How was this going to help him know? How was looking at his brothers back going to explain anything? He slowly stood up and walked around the bed so he could take a look at Sams back. He knew that they had beaten him. He had seen bruises on his body, he'd seen Sams chest but not his back. Once he was behind the bed he glanced at his back. He froze, his mouth dropping open slightly. Those fucking monsters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstly, someone mentioned this and no. I will not be going into detail of Sams rape. Some things may be mentioned but none will be graphic detail.  
> Secondly, This chapter was supposed to be so much longer. But some stuff came up with my family tonight. One of my sisters 'friends' is harassing my family, my dad told one of his cop friends whats going on and I can't deal right now. I'm sorry. I'll update again as soon as I can.


	13. Chapter 13

Dean moved onto the bed slowly, kneeling behind Sam. His eyes going over every inch of his brothers skin. Fucking Hell.  
Not only was he bruised. Not only did he have cuts, gashes and welts going across his back, fucking bastards died way to quickly for this. Sam had names cut into his back. Carved and left to scab over and scar.  
"Sammy.." Dean breathed out, his eyes getting watery. Sams head dropped hearing his name being said and Dean slowly reached up, lightly placing a hand on his shoulder. His eyes moving down his back silently reading the names that were now carved into his brothers body.  
'Slut.' 'Whore.' 'Bitch.' 'Freak.' That last one.. ever since the demon blood years ago that name always bothered Sam, and now it was going to be scarred onto his body. Dean was furious, but how did Sam know they were here? He almost didn't want to know.  
"Sammy I'm so sorry." Seeing bitch on him bothered Dean a lot to. Dean always called him that. He had called him that recently and there didn't seem to be a problem, but maybe he should stop for now. He lightly rubbed the back of Sams shoulder, one of his only spots that wasn't marked up. He heard Sam sigh.  
"It's all true.." Sam mumbled. Dean was shocked. What the hell was Sam talking about.  
"No Sammy. None of these words, not one of them are true." He stated. His voice firm but not loud.  
Sam shook his head, Dean still didn't get it. He didn't want him to get it.  
"They are true.. all of them.. you don't understand.."  
"There's nothing to understand! This isn't you Sam." Dean exclaimed staring at his back shaking his head.  
"Damn fuckers don't know the first thing about you. You're not any of these things."  
"Dean.. you don't.."  
"Then make me understand Sam! Because I'm missing whatever you're trying to point out! I don't care what you think, none of this crap is.."  
"I came Dean!" Sam yelled, his voice broken and shaky. Dean froze, watching as Sam dropped his head into his hands.  
Fuck Dean knew, he knew now. His brother was going to hate him. Dean was going to think he was pathetic, that he really was a whore, that he wanted this just like all those men kept telling him.  
"I came.. I fucking came... more then once. I didn't want to.. but I did.. I did.. they made me.."  
"Stop... stop.. Sammy, just breathe." Dean moved closer to Sam, wrapping an arm loosely around him, pulling Sams back to his chest. His brother seemed so broken, so ashamed, but this wasn't his fault. Dean knew that. He wanted Sam to realize that to.  
"Sammy listen to me.." Dean spoke softly, his hand lightly rubbing Sams side, keeping his movements gently so he didn't hurt him.  
"That wasn't your fault. It wasn't. It's not on you. You said it yourself Sam, you didn't want to, you didn't want it. You didn't want any of this to happen." Dean heard Sam take a shaky breath, he felt Sam lean back against him.  
Dean still believed him. Sam felt so much relief. So much worry left him, he sagged back against Dean trusting his hold.  
"You believe me?" Sam asked, his voice barley a whisper. He had to know. He had to be sure. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if Dean thought such horrible things about him.  
"Of course I believe you." Sam heard his answer, he kept his head down and let a few tears escape. Dean believed him.  
"Listen.." Dean said quietly, Sam still had to believe all of this himself, Dean refused to stop until Sam stopped blaming himself. Dean scooted over, gently pulling Sam back onto the bed with him. Holding Sam now against his chest. Sams head resting against his shoulder. Curled slightly as his side was rested against his brothers torso.  
"Of course I'd believe you Sammy. You told me you didn't want this. No one would. What happened to you.. it was rape Sam. No matter what happened during it. It was against your will and you didn't want it. How the hell could any of this be your fault?" He asked, trying to reason with Sam. Trying to make him understand.  
"I believe you. Please believe me baby boy. This is not your fault. None of this is your fault." He stated softly.  
Sam took deep breaths. He was still ashamed, still upset that his body had reacted that way.. but Dean was right. He didn't want it, not any of it. He slowly nodded.  
"I believe you." Sam whispered. Dean was happy hearing that, but it still wasn't enough.  
"Believe what?" He asked. He wanted to hear Sam say it.  
"That I didn't want it.." Sam spoke softly.  
"It wasn't my fault."  
"You're right.. not your fault." Dean whispered and leaned down kissing the top of Sams head. Sam closed his eyes. Taking so much comfort in Deans voice and touches.  
"Not my fault." He repeated softly, feeling Deans arm around him tighten a bit.   
"That's right. It's not your fault." Dean said feeling himself smile. Finally, Sam was getting it. He would continue to tell this to Sam if he ever started saying it was again. He felt Sam relax against him and Dean slowly rubbed his side.  
"It's alright. I got you. Just relax." Dean murmured to him. Sam nodded slowly and took a few more deep breaths.  
Sam was so happy, so glad Dean didn't hate him. He should've known Dean would take his side but he let his worries get the best of him. He stayed relaxed against Dean, letting his brother hold him. He was safe in Deans arms. He always was, he felt bad now for ever doubting him.  
"Thank you." He said quietly. Dean side.  
"Sammy, don't thank me. I'm here for you. I always will be. I'm helping you because I want to, not because I feel like I need to." Sam smiled and slowly looked up at Dean.  
"I know." He said softly.  
"That's why I'm thanking you. I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have you." Dean smiled.  
"You'd be stuck in that hospital with no hot nurses." He joked lightly. Sam chuckled hitting his chest lightly then wrapped an arm around Dean hugging him.  
"I'm really lucky I have you." Sam whispered pressing his face into Deans neck. Dean smiled and hugged him back. Lightly rubbing circles onto his back, trying to avoid his injuries.  
"We're lucky we have each other." Dean corrected him. They were better together and they both knew it. Sam let Dean hold him and didn't pull back, he liked this, being held and being close to Dean, he knew he shouldn't. But at the moment he couldn't help it, and didn't care. Dean sighed after a moment.  
"You should probably take a bath. I can start it for you if you want." Dean offered. He heard Sam sigh and he smiled.  
"I'm helping you Sam. You can wash yourself in a few days. But you're really starting to stink up the place." He teased.  
"Shut up." Sam mumbled.  
"You don't smell good either." He said but didn't pull his face away from Deans neck. Dean chuckled. Sam seemed to be going back to his usual self. He was glad for that.  
"Well one bath coming up. I'll have you nice and clean in no time, and no arguing. I'm helping you Sammy." He heard Sam sigh again but he mumbled.  
"Fine." And that was perfectly ok with Dean. At least Sam wasn't fighting his help right now.


	14. Chapter 14

Only after Dean was sure Sam was calmed down, he left the room to go and start a bath for Sam. He made sure the water was warm, not to hot, and he also pulled out the first aid kit knowing he would have to change some of Sams bandages and most likely redress some of his other injuries. Once the tub was filled he went back to Sams room. Sam looked up hearing Dean enter and slowly started pushing himself up. Dean moved over to his side. He wrapped and arm around Sams back and helped guide his brother to the bathroom. He only had his sweatpants and boxers on, Dean sighed softly.  
"Alright, lets get you in." He said moving his hand down to the waistband of Sams pants. He felt Sam tense a bit.  
"Uuh, you don't gotta.. I can do it." Sam said, ashamed to have Dean helping him like this.  
"Sammy it's ok. It's nothing I haven't seen before." He tried joking, he saw Sam blush.  
"That's different. It's been years Dean I'm not a little kid anymore." Sam mumbled.  
"True.." Dean agreed.  
"But you're still my little brother and I'm going to help you. Little kid or not." He said guiding Sam closer to the tub.  
"Just hold still." Dean told him as Sam nodded reluctantly.  
Sam hated this, being babied. He felt he should be able to do all these things despite being hurt. He still felt bad Dean had to help him, but he was starting to blame himself less after talking with Dean. He felt Dean carefully pull down his pants and boxers. Sam bit his lip feeling himself blush more. This shouldn't be that weird. Why did he feel so weird about Dean seeing him naked? He didn't even realize he was holding his breath until Dean spoke.  
"Ok Sammy, in you go." Dean was carefully with Sam, tried his best to keep his eyes up, he did glance down at Sams ass briefly. It was full of red marks which only made Dean fume. He didn't saw anything, of course Sam wouldn't want to be told these things. His brother probably already knew. He lived through it for fucks sake. Dean kept his arm around Sams waist as his brother stepped into the tub slowly, he carefully helped lower him into the tub so he was laying back.  
Sam let out a long sigh feeling the warm water around his body. It felt so nice, so refreshing. It was long overdue but he felt more comfortable doing this with Dean then with anyone else. Dean smiled watching Sam relax against the tub. Finally, he was at more ease.  
"You just relax, let me take care of everything else... does anything hurt real bad?" He asked, not wanting to hurt Sam while washing him.  
"Well my ribs still hurt." Sam said moving his hand to his right side.  
"And the back of my head. It's where they knocked me out, still kinda sore there." Sam shifted a bit looking down.  
"And um.. my uh.."  
"Hey I got it. I'll be careful I promise." Dean told him, knowing what Sam was gonna say. His ass hurt. Of course it did. He wouldn't go to far when he washed that.. if he washed it. He didn't want Sam to be uncomfortable in anyway. He watched as Sam nodded slowly and looked up at him.  
"Thank you." Sam said quietly and closed his eyes taking a deep breath. Dean smiled and grabbed a small cup. he filled it up with water and slowly poured it over Sams head, shielding his eyes with his other hand even though they were already closed. Just like how he used to when Sam was little. He saw Sam smile, watched as his whole body relaxed in the water. Dean felt so happy. Sam was trusting him enough to do this. He knew they'd be able to overcome anything together.

He washed Sams hair gently. Scratching his scalp lightly, enough to clean but not enough to hurt. Avoiding his sore spot in the back of his head. He rinsed out his hair, gently combing his fingers through Sams hair, smiling to himself. He didn't care how old Sam was. He missed this. Taking care of him, helping him. Sam was so damn stubborn nowadays he would barley let Dean do anything, so Dean was going to enjoy looking after his little brother. After he was Done with his hair he picked up a washcloth putting some body wash on it, not making any comments about how girly it was.Dean slowly started to wash off Sams neck and chest. He wasn't completely filthy. The doctors and nurses had cleaned him up a bit, just not very thoroughly.  
Sam felt his body melt under Deans touch, with all his help. He shouldn't like being taken care of like, not by Dean, not when the doctors and nurses touches made him so uncomfortable. But he did. He loved the feeling of Deans strong yet gentle hands as they slowly cleaned off his chest. He liked it a lot more then he should.  
Dean cleaned him carefully, lovingly almost, though he would deny it. Washing his chest, then shoulders. His arms slowly. Taking off the bandages on his wrists and very lightly cleaning them. Then carefully around his fingers. Dean was so scared of hurting Sam but his brother never flinched, not even once. He carefully washed his side and ribs, Sam didn't tense at all until Dean moved the cloth past his belly button.  
"D..Dean.." Sam stuttered, he didn't want Dean to feel obligated to clean him off down there. He wasn't sure he'd be ok letting anyone do it.  
"It's ok." Dean said softly moving his hand away.  
"Lean forward, I'll get your back." He said lightly rubbing Sams arm. Sam nodded and took a shaky breath, he felt nervous but knew Dean would never hurt him. He slowly sat up and leaned forward, Deans hand never leaving his arm.  
"Ok good. There you go Sammy, Just breathe now." Dean told him and very slowly started moving the washcloth over his back. Tracing the ugly names that were carved into his back. He felt Sams breathing start to pick up and he moved one hand over Sams heart.  
"You're ok." Dean whispered rubbing his chest lightly despite how weird it should feel. He'd never been touchy with Sam before but this felt right. It was what Sam needed, and Dean honestly needed it to. Sam took shaky breaths, he moved his hand on top of Deans holding it. He knew Dean was seeing them, reading them. Reading over the names he'd been called over ad over as those mean violated him. He heard Dean talking and slowly started to relax.  
"Deep breaths. It's just me little brother. Not gonna hurt. I'd never hurt you." He heard Dean say. Sam took another deep breath and closed his eyes, he nodded and squeezed Deans hand.  
"I know.. I trust you." Sam said quietly. What he didn't expect was to feel Deans lips against his temple. Sam took another deep breath and smiled. He was ok now. As embarrassing as this may be, Dean was here and that's all that mattered.

Dean moved his hand lower on Sams back. Wiping away any traces of dirt, dried blood and anything else coating his brothers body. He rubbed circles on his brothers back as he moved his hand further and further down, till he was right at Sams ass. Sam tensed again.  
"Just me." Dean whispered.  
"It's only me." He stopped moving his hand though, waiting for some sign from Sam so he could continue. After a few more seconds Sam nodded slowly. Still holding onto Deans hand, squeezing it lightly. Dean moved his other hand lower. As slowly and gently as he could, moving the cloth over the top part of his ass. Sam was still tense but didn't stop him or say anything else.  
"There you go Sammy, doing such a god job. I'll be done soon, just keep breathing, you're doing great." Dean said softly, doing his best to calm Sam down. Sam nodded tightly and Dean finished quickly, not pushing to deep. He knew Sam had creams he could put on his injury and didn't want to hurt him anymore.  
"There you go Sammy. Just lay back now, gonna clean off your legs really quick." He said as he helped his brother lay back again, the water starting to cool down. Dean carefully and quickly washed off his brothers legs. Gently washing his thighs, knees, calves and feet. He could hear Sam breath hitch a few times but didn't look up at him till he was done cleaning him off. Once he finished and looked up at Sam his face fell. There was water on Sams face but it was from the bath water. His eyes were still closed abut dean didn't care. He gently pulled Sam up and pulled him into a hug, His clothes getting soaked almost immediately but he didn't give a damn.  
Sam wrapped his arms around Dean as soon as he felt Deans arm around his shoulders. He held onto Deans shirt, he knew he was getting Dean all wet but he needed this. Needed Dean. Needed to be reminded he was safe. It was almost overwhelming how gentle Dean had been with him. This felt so intimate to Sam and he didn't want to lose it. This feeling. Of being close to Dean.  
"It's ok baby boy. I'm right here. You're safe." He heard Dean whisper into his ear. Sam nodded and sniffled, not trusting his voice. He let Dean hold him until Dean pulled back.  
Dean smiled at Sam, he could tell his brother wasn't upset like he originally thought. More relieved than anything. Dean moved away from the tub only to grab a towel. He helped Sam slowly stand up and get out of the tub. He guided Sams hands to his shoulders, to lean on him in case he needed it. Then he slowly began to dry Sam off. Doing it quickly but carefully, knowing Sam would be getting cold standing here naked and wet. He quickly wrapped the towel around Sams waist and guided him back to his bedroom with an arm around his back.  
Sam felt so lucky. He had the best brother in the world. Dean was helping more then Sam would've ever dared to ask him. Sam knew now that no matter what happened he would have Dean here to help him. He was so damn lucky. Dean meant the world and more to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this took me so long to update. Things at home havent been good. Me and my siblings have been spending the nights at different relatives houses for the past few days.  
> The police have gotten involved as well. I'll try and update again soon but can't make any promises.
> 
> Feel free to comment!


	15. Chapter 15

After Dean had helped Sam back to the bed, Keeping Sam sitting up on the edge of the bed he pulled a chair up and sat in front of him. He gently took Sams arm, putting some ointments over his wrists and wrapping them up gently. It would still take a while for them to heal, but the swelling had already started to go down.  
"Alright, stay still I'm gonna check your back." Dean said getting up. Sam nodded not arguing. He felt it was pointless to do so at the moment and he liked the fact that Dean was staying close to him.  
Dean moved to the bed kneeling behind Sam, glaring slightly at the angry cuts and marks that scarred up his brothers back. All those ugly crude slurs. They were ugly enough but none looked infected, Dean wanted to keep it that way. He could feel Sam tense slightly as he started to lightly trace the words with ointments, he tried his best to be gentle but he knew Sam hated what was on his back. Why wouldn't he?  
"When I'm done here I'll bring you your prescription. I got some juices and water for you to, just make sure you stay hydrated." Dean told Sam, wanting to get a bit off topic. Sam nodded.  
"Thank you." Sam said quietly.  
"I don't know how I'm gonna repay you for everything you've done for me." If this were any other situation Dean would've made a joke about it. Have Sam do the laundry for a few weeks, make him take out the trash or something but he couldn't bring himself to at this point.  
"You don't have to do anything. I mean it Sammy. Don't be thinking stuff like that." Dean told him as he continued to clean off his back. Sam shook his head sighing.  
"Yeah I do. I have a whole lot of making up to do since you're watching over me like I'm a kid." Dean sighed and moved back to sit in front of Sam.  
"Let's get one thing thing straight." He said facing Sam, waiting to talk till his brother met his gaze.  
"You don't owe me shit Sam. Not one damn thing. I told you before it wasn't your fault and I stand by that. So don't say that you owe me because I'm helping you. You shouldn't feel guilty because of this."  
"But I do." Sam argued, his face full of defeat.  
"I feel guilty, and horrible that I'm laying here in bed while you're running out getting my prescription filled, and bathing me while I lay around doing nothing."  
"And once again, that's not your fault." Dean told him, not sure what else to say to make it clear to Sam that none of the blame was on him.  
"The rape isn't on you. The injuries aren't on you. The fact that you have to stay in bed for a while, and can't get around so well are NOT on you." Dean said pointing at Sam raising his voice just trying to get his point across.  
"Sammy we talked about this. None of this is your fault and you shouldn't feel bad. I want to help you. Why don't you understand that?" Dean asked trying to find some sort of answer. Sam dropped his head looking down at the ground.  
"I can't help how I feel." Sam mumbled. Dean sighed frustratedly knowing that was true to a point but he wished it wouldn't be.  
"Ok, you know what? I'm gonna take a shower, then grab your meds and some other stuff. I'll be back in a few minutes." He said getting up and walking over to Sams dresser. He didn't want his brother getting up again. He pulled out some boxers, sweatpants and a tee shirt.  
"You need help getting dressed?" He asked setting the clothes next to Sam, who remained keeping his head down.  
"No... I'll be fine." He mumbled, head still down.  
"Alright. Just rest while I'm gone." Dean said walking out of Sams room and headed towards his. He sighed deeply. Frustrated at himself ad somewhat at Sam because his brother just didn't seem to understand. Why couldn't Sam see he had nothing to feel guilty about? Dean had told him time and time again not to worry, that this wasn't on him. He went into his room grabbing a fresh pair of clothes and a towel as he headed to the shower. He needed one, it was long overdue and what would be a better way to think than having a hot shower with some good water pressure?

Dean showered longer than he meant to, he really didn't watch the time. He showered for about a half hour, he felt so relaxed and refreshed now. Still tired, but a lot better. He went into the kitchen after he finished dressing. Just some comfy clothes, some sweats and a tee shirt. He looked down at the floor and sighed seeing the broken glass, smelling the faint alcohol that was still in the air. He decided to clean it up and then proceeded to get himself and Sam something to drink. He read over the label on Sams meds, wanting to make sure he gave his brother the right amount. Then headed back to Sams room. He stopped once he walked into the doorway and was shocked at what he saw. Sam was still siting at the edge of the bed where he was before. The only difference not was that he was fully clothed and looked a lot more tired.  
"Sammy?" Dean Said quietly slowly making his way in front of Sam. Sam kept his head down, his hands in his lap. He didn't say anything just took deep breaths. This was starting to worry Dean. Why the hell was Sam acting like this? He put the bottle of water and bag of meds down on the bedside table. Dean moved back in front of Sam and crouched down in front of him.  
"Sammy? What's wrong?" Dean asked softly, slowly moving one of his hands on top of Sams. Sam stayed quiet for a few moments. The silence almost deafening. Sam slowly raised his gaze to meet Deans looking into his eyes.  
"You're not mad at me are you?" Sam asked, almost scared, his voice just a whisper. Deans eyes widened at the question.  
"No!" Dean said immediately and a bit loudly, he could see Sam flinch at his reaction. Dean took a deep breath.  
"Sammy why on earth would I be mad at you?" He asked. He had no idea why Sam would ever think that. Sam just shrugged slightly and looked back down.  
"Just.. before you left.. I don't know.. you sounded mad." Sam mumbled.  
Sam was afraid. Very afraid. That Dean would get sick of him, get sick of helping him out and watching over him. That Dean would just leave. He had every right to of course. Sam wouldn't stop him if he did leave. But he knew If Dean would leave, that it would break him. So earlier when Dean left all Sam could think of was how Dean raised his voice, how he seemed to be frustrated with Sam. Sam was scared Dean might not come back into his room like he said he would.  
"I wasn't mad Sammy." Dean said gently.  
"Why would you think that?" He asked trying to catch Sams gaze, but his brother kept his head down. Sam started feeling bad now, and Dean could see that.  
"Look at me." Dean told him. Not sternly, not demanding. He said it gently. Almost asking. Sam slowly lifted his head up looking at Dean. His eyes were red and he looked tired. So damn tired.  
"I will never be mad at you over this Sam. No matter what happens. I promise." Dean told him. Sam bit his lip holding Deans gaze.  
"How can you promise that? I'm not gonna get better overnight Dean. You'd be better off checking me into some mental institute." Sam said softly, his stomach dropping just at the idea of being away from Dean.  
"I'm not sending you anywhere. I'm not dropping you off somewhere and leaving you there, so get that idea out of your head right now. Unless you think you really need to go, unless you think I can't help you. Is that what you think?" Dean asked.  
"No." Sam answered quickly to Deans relief, his voice still quiet.  
"Then don't say that again. I know you're not just gonna wake up one morning and be a hundred percent." Dean told him quietly, gently squeezing his hand.  
"I know that Sam, I know this isn't going to be easy, and yes I'm going to be tired, and probably cranky at some point. We both are. But don't think I'm gonna get up one day and give up on you. Don't think I'm gonna pack your bags and kick you out because I get tired. I promise you Sammy, that is never, never going to happen." Dean told him honestly. Sam bit his lip harder and nodded slowly. He took a shaky breath smiling slightly at Dean.  
"Thank you." Sam whispered, his eyes red and watery. Dean still couldn't believe Sam thought all this. Dean didn't even bother telling Sam not to thank him, he could tell Sam needed this.  
"Come here." Dean said softly but he himself ended up moving onto the bed, sitting beside Sam and pulling him into a hug. Dean didn't hear Sam crying, but could feeling his shoulder and neck getting damp from where Sam had buried his face. He rubbed Sams back lightly, just barley rocking him back and forth.  
"Please don't leave me." Sam whispered against Deans neck. Dean didn't know if he was supposed to hear it or not. But he didn't care. Sam needed him and he was there.  
"Never leaving you. Don't think that. I'm not going anywhere Sammy." Dean whispered kissing Sams hair and hugging him tighter.  
Now two of Sam's fears had been put to ease. The fear that Dean would blame him for this whole situation and the fear that Dean would leave him when things got tough. Dean only hoped that those were the only two things bothering Sam. And if they weren't he hoped Sam would talk to him about whatever was bothering him. Because Dean was there to help, and even after Sam was better Dean would continue to be there for him no matter what.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to update. Things still haven't been great at home and I've been sick the past few days. I hope you enjoy this chapter.
> 
> Feel free to comment!


	16. Chapter 16

After Dean had calmed Sam down he helped his brother lay back in bed. Dean sat at the edge of the bed, reaching over to grab Sams meds and the bottle of water. He pulled out two pills and handed them to Sam along with the water.  
"Take these." He said, Sam took them willingly. Popping the pills into his mouth and downing them with the water, drinking half of it.  
"Those are the good kind so you're probably gonna be tired for the next few days." Dean told him. Sam nodded and sighed, putting the water on the table next to his bed.  
"Thanks." Sam said softly. Dean just nodded.  
"I'm sure after a few days you'll be up and moving around." Dean told him. Trying his best to be positive for Sams sake.  
"You always hated laying around in bed but you gotta take it easy for the next few days. I'm sure you'll sleep through most of it so it'll go by quick."  
"I hope so." Sam mumbled.  
"You're right. I hate staying in bed, but I'm glad it's here and not some motel." It probably would've been easier to stay at a motel, less driving and they'd be able to go back to the same doctor if anything did happen. But Dean couldn't chance staying in the town. And even though Sam always called the bunker more of a fortress and not a home, Dean knew he was comfortable here, and that Sam wouldn't worry if he was here because who else was going to pop up here? No one, not like if they were at some motel.  
"Just sleep for now." Dean told him smiling slightly, knowing the meds would start working soon and Sam would be tired anyway.  
"That's pretty much the only thing I can do." Sam said, Dean could tell Sam was not going to enjoy this.  
"Don't say it like it's a bad thing. I'd love to just lay in bed for days, enjoy it. You don't gotta do the laundry." Dean tried joking lightly and Sam chuckled.  
"Yeah ok." Sam said quietly, but kept his eyes open. He kept glancing up at Dean, a bit nervously.  
"Can you uh.." Sam began quietly, dropping his gaze down to his lap. Dean smiled sadly, he wasn't going to make Sam finish his question.  
"I'm not leaving yet." Dean told him, moving slightly to pull the covers up around Sam.  
"Just close your eyes alright? I'll wake you up when you have to take more meds." Sam nodded, he was glad Dean would stay. He felt like such a baby for wanting him to. But this way felt safer. Having Dean with him when he fell asleep, even though he didn't want to. When he tried sleeping he could see those faces, and hear the voices of the men who had hurt him. With Deans presence though, that lessoned everything. It took Sams thoughts away from there, he focused on his brothers breathing or any of his touches and it would ground him. Remind him that he was safe.  
"Thank you." Sam whispered. He closed his eyes, relaxing against the bed, letting his head drop to the pillow. His eyes were closed but he stayed facing Dean, he knew Dean would stay there till he was asleep. And he did. Dean sat there, at the edge of the bed watching Sam. Listening to his breathing. He waited till Sam was completely asleep, and then waited a little longer before slowly getting up from the bed. He hoped that the meds would help keep Sam asleep.. a peaceful sleep. He really didn't want to be in another room and hear his screams again. Dean didn't want to leave Sams side, but at the same time didn't want to baby him to the point of becoming annoying to his brother. He quietly left Sams room but kept the door open. He wanted to be able to hear if anything happened.

The rest of the day went pretty well in Deans mind. A few hours after leaving Sams room he made himself something to eat. He was so damn hungry and didn't even realize it till he started eating. He pulled out his own laptop instead of using Sams, he was keeping tabs on the news around that town just in case things started up again or if those bodies were found. He wouldn't leave Sam if things did happen but he wanted to know, and make sure he did things right. After a few more hours he grabbed a small bottle of juice from the fridge for Sam went back to check on him. It was time to take more meds. He walked into his room. He smiled seeing Sam still asleep, and he looked so peaceful. He really didn't want to disturb his brothers sleep but knew the meds would help him. He slowly sat at the edge of his bed again. Watching him for another minute. He didn't want to startle him awake so he tried to be gentle. Gently placing his hand on Sams shoulder and shaking it gently.  
"Sammy?" Dean said quietly, shaking him gently until he heard Sam grunt in response. He smiled watching as Sam slowly blinked awake and looked up at him.  
"Hey." Dean said quietly.  
"You back with me yet?" He teased lightly moving his hand pushing Sams hair out of his face.  
"I think so." Sam mumbled, moving his hand to rub it over his face, Dean chuckled softly.  
"Time for some more meds. But I want you to drink some of this first." Dean said holding up the bottle of juice for Sam to see. Dean didn't think taking a lot of meds on an empty stomach would be a good thing, he wanted Sam to have something else in his system.  
"Already?" Sam asked rubbing his eyes then moving onto his back, slowly pushing himself up.  
"Yeah, already." Dean said softly.  
"You were out like a light. Told you these things would knock you out." He said waiting until Sam propped himself up and handed him the bottle of juice.  
"Guess you were right.. thanks." Sam said taking the bottle. He still looked tired but Dean knew sleep would be good for him.  
"No problem." He said watching as Sam drank the juice, downing half of it quickly. Sam didn't feel like he slept very long. But he was feeling better, even if it was only a little bit. He'd take that over nothing. He was grateful for Deans help. He could've just told Sam to set an alarm and do all this himself but Dean was caring. He always was, especially whenever Sam was sick or hurt. He would always watch over Sam. Even as they got older, even if it was more distant now. But Sam liked this a lot better. He felt closer to Dean, and he liked that.  
"You slept well I'm guessing." Dean said trying to make light conversation. He wanted Sam to sleep, wanted his brother to get better, but to still talk with him every chance he got.  
"Yeah. Doesn't seem like it's been hours. Were you here the whole time?" He couldn't help but ask. Not that Dean had to stay, but the thought of Dean sitting at his side all day and night made Sam feel guilty.  
"No." Dean said softly.  
"I stayed for a while, but I had to unpack and eat, do a few other things." He said not wanting Sam to know he was keeping tabs on the town. Sam nodded.  
"You should get some sleep too." Sam told him. Dean just shook his head.  
"I'm fine Sam. I slept fine last night, and I'm not the one on meds. I'll sleep tonight." Dean said, but didn't know how much sleep he would actually get. He wasn't sure he wanted to leave Sam alone all night.  
"Drink some more then take some more of your meds." Dean nodded towards Sams juice then pulled the bag over to him digging out more of Sams meds. He knew Sam would be out once he took them, he wished he could talk to Sam more. Have Sam tell him more of what happened.  
"So back at the hospital.." Dean said opening the two different pill bottles and taking one of each out.  
"You were saying when you first woke up.. you kept asking me if I was real." Dean said glancing at Sam. Sam drank most of his juice and glanced down at his lap.  
"What was that all about?" Dean asked him. Sam just shrugged.  
"I don't remember that.. like you said I was out of it. All the meds and stuff." Sam mumbled. Dean looked at him. He didn't really believe Sam and felt there was a bigger meaning behind it.  
"You sure?" He asked, watching as Sam played with his wrapped fingers. The brakes in them weren't that bad. But would take some time to heal.  
"It's stupid." Sam mumbled keeping his head down.  
"I'll be the judge of that." Dean told him gently. Wanting to know what it was about but not wanting to make Sam that uncomfortable. Sam sighed fidgeting a bit more before slowly looking up at Dean. "I had dreams while I.. while I was there." He began softly, not looking up at Dean yet.  
"Sometimes the beatings were really bad and.. I'd get knocked out. Other times I would just get so tired after.. after everything." Sam said, not giving many details and Dean didn't push it. Anything Sam was willing to tell him he would take.  
"And when I was asleep or knocked out.. I'd always have the same dream.. that you would be there, you'd come into the room I was being held in and you'd save me. And every time I thought it was real." He told Dean. Deans face slowly fell. No wonder Sam had asked him that at the hospital.  
"We'd always get out to the car and then.. I'd wake up and realize it was all a dream. I must've dreamt it like six or seven times. I knew you would come look for me but after a while I just.. I didn't know what to believe."  
"That's why you were confused in the hospital." Dean said softly. Sam looked up at him and nodded.  
"I really hoped it wasn't a dream. I mean, of course I knew once we got there that I wasn't but.. for a while I just.. I didn't know." Sam said quietly. Deans heart broke for Sam. The thought of falling asleep and having the same recurring dream of being saved, only to wake up and face the reality of a nightmare he was stuck living. He smiled softly at Sam.  
"I didn't stop looking for you. I wasn't going to until I found you." He told Sam earning a small smile from him.  
"I know. I'm glad you did." Sam knew if Dean hadn't shown up when he did he would've been dead right now.  
"Here, take these and go back to sleep." Dean said handing Sam his pills. As much as he wanted to talk to Sam more he didn't want to work him up again before he went back to sleep. Sam took the pills from him swallowing them with the rest of his juice.  
"Do you need anything else before you go back to sleep? Want me to change your bandages?" Dean asked him, he wanted Sam to be comfortable and to help him as much as he could. Sam shook his head and Dean took the empty bottle from him.  
"No. I'll be fine for now. But thank you." Sam said sliding back down so he was laying in bed, Dean helped rearrange the covers around him.  
"Alright. Go back to sleep. I'll wake you up again in a few hours." Dean told him, still sitting on the bed. He didn't move to get up. He knew Sam liked when he stayed until he was asleep. Sam nodded and closed his eyes. Dean watched him. He didn't look as relaxed as before. Maybe talking to him about that was a bad idea. He reached over and lightly ran his finger through Sams hair. Sam didn't flinch at his touch, he just relaxed more against the pillow with a slight smile on his face. Dean smiled watching him, he would give Sam any comfort he wanted. He didn't mind this at all. He used to do this with Sam all the time when he was younger. Sit up with him, run his finger through his hair or rub his back. Things of course had changed since they got older but Dean would be lying if he said he didn't miss it. Or say that it didn't feel right. It did feel right being close with Sam. Watching over him closely. Dean waited again until he knew for sure Sam was sleeping, then he left the room quietly. Missing the close contact as soon as he was away. But he had a pile of laundry to do, and news to keep up with. Sam would be fine for a few hours by himself.

Dean kept tabs on different news sites. After a few more hours he made himself something to eat for dinner. They didn't have a lot of food in the bunker but it was enough for Dean. Stuff to make sandwiches and some breakfast food. He'd go shopping again in a few days. He was fine like this. After seeing nothing on his laptop, and being sure not to look for anymore hunts, like he'd really leave Sam to go on a hunt, he got up stretching. He enjoyed being back here, back home. It felt nice. He grabbed another bottle of juice, and one of their first aid kits and headed back to Sams room. He was still sleeping. Dean smiled. Maybe the pills were helping him sleep better. He sat down at the side of the bed, his hand back on Sams shoulder shaking him gently.  
"Sammy?" Dean said softly. Sam grunted after a moment squinting up at him. Dean smiled. At least he seemed to be doing better.  
"I brought you more juice. I'm gonna change your bandages then you can take more meds." Sam nodded stretching a bit, then slowly pushed himself up. Dean handed him the juice and opened the kit pulling out some new gauze to wrap him up with. He also grabbed one of the creams to put over it to help. He moved closer to Sam gently taking one of his arms and undoing the gauze. He held his arm and the back of his hand gently looking over his wrist. It was still battered, but getting better. The swelling had seemed to go down almost completely.  
"It's looking better." Dean said taking the cream and lightly rubbing it over Sams wrist.  
Sam didn't say anything. He just watched Deam, keeping still. The meds made him feel a tired, so he didn't want to talk much. He actually wanted to sleep. He wanted to get better so Dean wouldn't have to keep taking care of him like this. He watched and felt how careful Dean was being with him. How delicately Dean was treating him. Like Dean was scared of hurting him. He watched Dean gently wrapped up his wrist and gave the same careful treatment to his other wrist. Once he was finished he wrapped up his wrist carefully but continued to hold onto his arm and back of his hand for a moment. Sam watched him, a bit confused. He was about to speak but Dean beat him to it.  
"How are your fingers?" He asked softly. Sam looked at him then down at his hand.  
"They're ok. They don't hurt that much. No bones shattered so I won't need surgery." Sam told him. Dean nodded keeping his head down the slowly let go of Sams arm glancing up at him.  
"Drink your juice." He told Sam grabbing the bag and pulling out the pill bottles. Sam listened, drinking more. He was thirsty, and hungry but knew he couldn't eat. Maybe Dean could get him some soft foods to eat. In the morning. He wouldn't ask now. Dean handed Sam his meds and Sam took them drinking most of his juice.  
"I'll wake you up again in the morning. I'll let you sleep through the night. I know you've slept all day but you still look tired." Dean told him.  
"Fucking meds." Sam mumbled, Dean just chuckled.  
"Sleep will help." Dean told him.  
"This bedrest will go by fast. Lay back down." Sam nodded, too tired to argue, Dean took the bottle from him setting it on the bedside table where the water bottle was. Once Sam was laying down Dean moved the covers up over him, still sitting at his side.  
"Sleep." Dean told him, moving his hand to push Sams hair out of his face. Sam closed his eyes relaxing, falling asleep almost instantly without another word. Dean stayed, fingers moving through Sams hair until he was fast asleep.

Dean sat there on the bed with him. He had no idea how long it had been. He just watched Sam. Listened to his breathing. He really didn't want to move away from his side. This was different from earlier. It wasn't just a few hours now, it was for the whole night. It had been almost two hours since Sam fell asleep and Dean finally stood up. Looking down at Sam, watching as he slept in what seemed to be a peaceful sleep, and he slowly walked out of his room. He had a bad feeling about tonight but told himself not to worry. That Sam would be fine.  
He went to his room and changed into his a t shirt and just new boxers. He wasn't that tired yet but knew he should sleep soon. He went back out to the kitchen. Making sure he had put everything away and turned off all the lights. As much as he wanted to he decided against drinking tonight. Today seemed like a win in his book. Sam was slowly getting better and opening up to him more. Dean would take that. He walked back to his room but stopped in the hall at Sams doorway. Their rooms weren't that far away but they were further then Dean would like for this. He stood there for a while, a good ten minutes just watching him. Seeing his even breathing. Telling himself Sam was ok.. please let him be ok and get some sleep. He deserved it after all the crap he had gone through. Dean finally pulled himself away from Sams room. He sighed deeply and sat at the edge of his bed. He couldn't sleep yet. His mind still racing, worrying over Sam. He sat there for a while in the dark thinking, about everything. Sams recovery, estimating how long he would stay in bed for and again how long it would be till he was physically better. Able to fight, and shoot again. Mentally however, with the nightmares well.. that would have to play out on it's own. He didn't realize he had been sitting there for about an hour before he finally started to feel sleep come. He laid on his back in his bed, staring at the ceiling. He hoped tonight would go well. That Sam would sleep. That he was getting better. Deans eyes were just starting to flutter shut. He could feel his own weariness start to take over, feel himself start to fall asleep. But he never fully did.

"STOP!! DON'T!! STOP!!"

Deans eyes flew back open. Sleep instantly leaving him. His whole body tensing at his brothers screams. Fuck! He threw the covers off of himself and ran out of his room. He should've never left Sams room. He shouldn't of ignored his gut feeling. He cursed himself hearing Sams Screams become more frantic as he raced to his brothers room. He was an idiot for leaving Sams side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Probably my longest chapter ever. It was supposed to be even longer but it's getting late and I didn't want to wait another day before uploading again. Thank you all for baring with me ♥  
> I'm feeling better although the family situation still kinda suck I'm doing a lot better now.
> 
> Feel free to comment!!


	17. Chapter 17

Dean was back in Sams room in seconds. He quickly ran through the hall just in his t shirt and boxers, past Sams doorway and into his room. Sam was thrashing around in his sleep. His face and hair sweaty, panting heavily as he tangled himself more into his sheets.  
"No!! Get away!" He yelled in his sleep. Dean cursed leaning over Sam, sitting down at his side on the bed.  
"Sammy? Sammy!?" Dean said as he grabbed Sams shoulder and arm trying to keep him from moving around so much.  
"Don't!!" Sam yelled, his arm flailing. trying to push Dean away, still sleeping.  
"Sammy wake up! Dammit! Sam it's a dream!" Dean spoke loudly, his grip on Sam only tightening. Sam groaned loudly, yelling in his sleep. His whole body tensing. Fuck this wasn't going well.  
"Sam!" Dean tried yelling again, shaking him as Sam tossed his head back and forth on the pillow. Sam let out a strangle yell trying to pull out of Deans hold and his eyes flew open. Wide, and and full of fear.  
"Don't! No! Stay back!" Sam yelled still in a daze, trying to pull his arm out of Deans hold. Trying to push away from him. His chest moving rapidly and his body was shaking.  
"Sammy it's me! It's just me. It was just a dream." Dean said, his voice loud but gentle. He loosened his hold on Sam but didn't let go yet. Sams head snapped to look at him. His eyes still wide and he was breathing heavily. His eyes moving quickly trying to make out Deans figure in the dark.  
"Dean?" He asked, his voice scratchy and quiet.  
"Right here." Dean tried reassuring Sam seeing he was still panicking.  
"It was just a dream Sam ok? You're alright." Dean told him. Sam shook his head and was able to pull his arm out of Deans hold.  
"No it wasn't.. it was not just a dream." Sam said through shaky breaths. Pushing himself up to sit against the headboard, arms shaking as he did. Dean bit his lip watching Sam. He reached over to the bedside table turning on the lamp and looking at Sam. His face was all red and he was still panting. Eyes all bloodshot, and he looked so damn tired.  
"Yes it was Sam." Dean said softly.  
"No it wasn't!" Sam yelled turning his head to glare at Dean but it only lasted for a second and his whole face fell. He turned his head closing his eyes rubbing his hand over his face.  
"It wasn't.. you don't understand." Sams voice was softer now, broken. It made Deans stomach drop.  
"It wasn't a dream.. it happened. It was all real. It all happened." Sam inhaled shakily as a few tears ran down his cheeks. Dean froze. Biting his lip letting Sam talk.  
"Every time I close my eyes I see their faces.. I hear their voices.. every fucking time." Sam sniffled.  
"It's like I'm there again.. and I have to relive it over and over and I can't.." Sams voice cracked and he leaned forward, resting his elbows on his legs and dropping his face into his hands as more tears fell.  
Deans heart broke. He watched Sam silently. He didn't want to say or do anything to make Sam push him away again. He wanted nothing more then to take all of his brothers pain away, all of these horrible memories. He slowly moved closer to Sam pulling his legs up on the bed and sitting right next to him. Almost close enough to be touching.  
"You're right. I'm sorry." Dean spoke softly. Sam kept his head down taking shaky breaths.  
"I'm so sorry you have to go through this. That all of this happened to you. It's not fair, it's not right. No one should ever have to go through this. But you don't have to deal with it on your own. You're not alone Sam." Dean told him softly. Sam shook his head turning to face Dean.  
"Yes I am." Sam whispered. At the moment he felt it. He was tired. So damn tired. A bit out of it because of his meds. He didn't want to sleep again. Didn't want to be dragged back into the same memories of those men. See their faces and listen to them talk. Dean shook his head leaning closer. Reaching up slowly to cup Sams cheek.  
"No you're not." He whispered, moving his thumb slowly across Sams cheek, wiping away his tears. Sam didn't pull back so Dean stayed right where he was. Not moving closer but not pulling away.  
"You have me. I'm right here Sam. I don't know everything.. and I won't make you tell me. But I'm going to help you. I'll help you get through this, because I know you will. You're strong Sam. Stronger than you think. You'll get through this." Sam scoffed at that, sniffling. dropping his head down, but Deans hand never left his face.  
"Yeah.. so strong." He mumbled sarcastically. Waking up from a nightmare screaming. Crying. Breaking down and having his older brother care for him like an infant. No, Dean was wrong. Sam didn't feel strong at all, he felt defeated, weak.  
Dean watched Sam, taking a deep breath. "Look at me." Dean said quietly, waiting for Sam to meet his gaze. Only talking once their eyes were locked.  
"You are strong. You can deny it all you want but you are." Dean began, Sam opened his mouth to protest.  
"Don't" Dean told him sternly but kept his voice soft. Sam shut his mouth, dropping his head then lifting it back up to look at Dean and he continued.  
"You're strong. You didn't even want to go to the hospital. When you were there all you wanted to do was leave. You haven't complained to me or said anything about the pain you're in unless I asked. You've bit your tongue and told yourself to suck it up because you want to get better. And when I found you.." Dean trailed off taking a deep breath pressing his lips together for a moment. He looked at Sam shaking his head, his own eyes getting watery to match Sams.  
"When I found you.. You were chained up.." Dean whispered remembering what he saw. Both Sam and that horrible recording they made.  
"Chained.. and beaten.. gagged and blindfolded. You were there for days like that... days Sammy. And you were still fighting them. Right up until I got there. Now you tell me how that isn't strong." He said, his voice starting to crack. More tears started falling down Sams face, and he took shaky breaths. He bit his quivering lip but never took his eyes off of Dean. Dean watched him, hoping he got it, hoping he understood, because Dean didn't know how else to get through to him. And he was, so damn strong. Dean looked at him with so much love, so much adoration, feelings swelling up in him he had to push down because at the moment Sam needed this, and so did Dean.  
"You're the strongest person I know Sammy." Dean whispered reaching up to cup his other cheek, hands framing his face wiping away his fresh tears.  
"So. Damn. Strong." He said softly.  
"You'll get through this. I know you will, And I will be here helping you every step of the way. I promise." He whispered firmly, not letting his own tears fall, not wanting to break in front of his brother even though he was already starting to.  
Sam took a shaky breath, sniffling. He didn't say anything, but he felt something. Strength and love from Deans words. He may have not felt strong, but after listening to Dean he felt more confident. Because of Deans words and because he wasn't alone. He had Dean.  
Dean moved closer and slowly pulled Sam against him. He felt as Sam quickly wrapped his arms around him, gripping onto his shirt and pressing his face into Dean neck. Holding onto him like a lifeline. Dean held the back of Sams head with one hand. Rubbing his back slowly with the other. Feeling as Sam cried softly into his neck. Dean let his own tears fall. Sammy. His Sam. He didn't care how that sounded anymore. He loved his brother. He knew deep in his heart he did though he tried to push it away. Now was not the time for that. Now it was time to focus on Sam. Help him heal. Help him get better.

Dean held Sam for what felt like hours when really, it was only about ten minutes. He rubbed Sams back, whispered soft reassurances to him. Promises that he was safe, and that he would never leave his side. He waited till Sam stopped crying, till his breathing was even. He slowly pulled back rubbing Sams arm. He grabbed the water bottle with his other hand handing it to Sam.  
"Drink some." Dean told him, he wanted his brother calm, and would hopefully have him back asleep soon. Sam nodded, sniffling and wiping off his face before taking it from Dean. He drank some and let out a long breath sighing. Dean knew despite all of the sleep he had gotten Sam was still tired.  
"Why don't you lay back down." Dean said gently. Sam bit his lip and shook his head drinking more water.  
"I've been sleeping all day. I'll be fine if I stay up." Sam said quietly. Dean sighed.  
"It's late Sam. The sun won't be up for hours." He gently pried the bottle out of Sams hand setting it aside. He knew Sam didn't want to sleep. But maybe if he stayed Sam would be ok trying to sleep again.  
"Come on." Dean moved off of the bed turning off the lamp and Sam frowned. Dean smiled softly, only pulling the covers up to slide underneath them, sitting next to Sam.  
"Lay down with me." Dean said scooting down to lay on his back. He could see Sam hesitate but he did after a minute scoot down. He didn't lay down fully, because Dean reached over, tugging his arm so Sam was pressed against his side. Sam moved with him slowly. But as soon as he was laying against Dean side, head against Deans chest, he quickly wrapped an arm around Deans waist. Holding onto him tightly as he closed his eyes taking a deep breath. Dean moved his arm around Sams back. Holding him close, not that he needed to, but he wanted to. He lightly rubbed Sams back, glancing down at him.  
"You don't have to sleep.. but just lay here with me ok?" Dean told him. Sam nodded, but his eyes were closed and Dean knew sleep would win.  
"Thank you." Sam said softly and Dean smiled, rearranging the covers over them.  
"You're welcome." Dean said rubbing his back underneath the covers. They were both silent, and Dean felt Sams grip around him slowly start to loosen, and his breathing get deeper. He listened as Sam slowly fell asleep. Only then allowing himself to drift off. Knowing Sam would be ok for the night. And even if he woke up again with another nightmare, at least he would be right at Sams side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm pretty sure I cried writing this. :'*  
> I really hope you guys liked this chapter.  
> Please let me know what you think.
> 
> Feel free to comment!


	18. Chapter 18

The next few days had gone pretty well in Deans mind. The morning after Sams nightmare he had stayed in bed with his brother till he woke up. He then got Sam his meds, brought him more juices and water to keep him hydrated, and Sam slept throughout the whole day again. Only waking when Dean had to keep up on time with the meds. And every night since then Dean slept in the same bed with Sam. Though they didn't do anything other than sleep. Only an occasional kiss on the forehead if Sam was ever worked up about anything, but that was it. He'd normally sit and talk to him once it got late. Sam hadn't had a nightmare since. Sam hadn't opened up about much else though. No details and no stories of what happened but Dean never pushed. It had now been three days after his nightmare and Dean had woken up from another peaceful sleep with Sam.

Dean blinked awake turning to look at Sam. He smiled seeing Sam in a peaceful sleep. He knew Sam would be waking up soon. He slowly rubbed Sams back in hopes of moving things along. They were running low on food and Dean hadn't been shopping since the day they came back. Sam hadn't had any solid foods, but maybe getting him some jello or ice cream would help. Not healthy, but it was better then just drinking water and juice all the time. Sam would probably ask for some soups as well. Dean wouldn't say no. He felt Sam move around a bit and watched him stretch.  
"Morning princess." Dean teased him, hearing Sam grumble.  
"Use your words Sammy." Dean continued to tease. It should be awkward waking up with Sam. But it wasn't. It felt comfortable and Sam didn't seem to mind it either.  
"I said shut up." Sam mumbled louder but kept his head on Deans shoulder not moving away from him. Sam still felt tired despite sleeping the past few days. It was a long, annoying recovery. His ass was hurting less but his ribs limited his mobility. He couldn't bend or twist much without feeling a lot of pain, so he had to move slowly.  
"Sorry Sammy I don't come with a snooze button." Dean told him. Sam grumbled some more but didn't move.  
"Then go so I can sleep more." Sam mumbled, but made no attempt to push Dean out of bed.  
"But where's the fun in that? Plus you need to take your meds and then shower. You're really starting to smell ya know." Dean told him. Sam had only bathed the one day Dean had washed him. Sam groaned some more, clearly not in the mood for Deans teasing so early. But he did appreciate it. Dean may of babied him at times but things between them didn't change. He was the same caring asshole he always was.  
"I can do that later." Sam mumbled.  
"Fine. So what do you want for breakfast? Juice.. or some other juice?" Dean asked, Sam smacked his side.  
"Asshole." He mumbled. Sam wanted food. Real food. He was hungry and tired of all the fluids he had to keep taking. Always waking up from his sleep so often to take a piss.  
"How about pancakes.. or waffles." Sam said knowing the answer would be no.  
"Sorry Sammy, not for a few more days." Dean said, and Sam thought he did sound sorry about it.  
"Not anything?" Sam complained, hating that he was whining but he hated this.  
"I have to run out to the store later, I'll pick you up some softer foods. How's that sound?" Dean reasoned. Sam smiled slightly at that. It was something at least.  
"Sounds good." Sam said, his eyes still closed. Dean was glad he could do something to make things easier for Sam.  
"Alright, now get off of me would ya? I gotta piss." Dean told him. Sam sighed moving off of Deans side and back onto the bed so he was laying down. He heard Dean getting up and felt the bed shift.  
"Be back in a few minutes." Dean said getting out of bed and leaving the room. Sam stayed in bed and sighed. He finally opened his eyes and slowly pushed himself up. He pushed himself out of bed and headed to the bathroom slowly. He'd gone by himself a few times yesterday. Dean wasn't happy when he found out Sam was moving on his own, but Sam felt better. Less pain, but still week. But he could certainly manage to pee and brush his teeth by himself without Dean standing over him like a fucking invalid. He decided to shave. It had been a few days and his facial hair was getting longer than he liked. He was about halfway done when he heard Deans voice. calling from his room.  
"Sam?"  
"Bathroom." Sam called and the door opened, he hadn't closed it all the way but didn't mind so much Dean coming in.  
Dean watched Sam as he entered the bathroom. Sam looked tired, mostly due to his meds, but he didn't seem to be in a lot of pain while moving around. That was good. Maybe he could start on some light workouts in a day or two.  
"Meds are on your table with some water, juice and your phone. I'm gonna head out to the store now. Need anything before I go?" Dean asked him. Sam shook his head.  
"No Dean, I can manage for myself for a while." He told him.  
"Just.. can you get me something to eat like you said? Please?" Sam turned to face Dean. Dean gave Sam a small smile, knowing he'd go crazy with no real food.  
"Of course. And when I get back and stuff you full of calories you can have a bath." Sam huffed at that.  
"You said I could shower." He complained to Dean.  
"Sam.." Dean started. He was still worried. Yeah Sam was better but he didn't know that he liked Sam staying stood up for long especially on wet ground without any help.  
"Dean come on!" Sam didn't let him finish.  
"I've been getting around fine. I'm standing right now." He exclaimed holding his arms out.  
"Yeah but for how long?" Dean shot back.  
"You get up. Piss. Then go straight back to bed. You're not standing in here for a long time. You may be feeling better, you are getting better, but I don't want you pushing it Sam." Dean told him.  
"Since when?" Sam asked, ignoring the whole first part of Deans argument.  
"When have we ever taken it easy? I'm not laying in bed again all day for the fifth day in a row!" Sam exclaimed. He was restless. Not used to this. So used to getting up and moving around. Jogging. He was starting to get cabin fever and it was clearly showing. Dean took a deep slow breath to keep himself from blowing. He had been at Sams side a lot and this wasn't the first time they argued, but it was exculading further than their other arguments.  
"I'm leaving. And you're not doing a damn thing until I get back." Dean stated. His voice firm, no room for argument. Not that it stopped Sam.  
"Oh yeah? And who's gonna stop me?" He asked, determined to prove to Dean he could things without being watched over like an infant. Dean let out another long breath, almost glaring at Sam. Him and his damn stubbornness.  
"You shave and get back in bed." He said clenching his jaw. He could stay and wait for Sam to fall asleep before he left but knew that would just piss him off more.  
"I mean it Sam. The last thing we need is for you to reinjure yourself."  
"I'm not a fucking kid!" Sam yelled.  
"I am getting better! And I'm going to shower whether you want me to or not!" Dean knew this was childish, somewhere deep in him. But they were both restless, both irritated and they were taking it out on each other.  
"Don't fucking argue with me! You're getting back in bed after you shave and that's that." Dean told him. Sam snorted.  
"What are you gonna do if I don't? Ground me? Send me to my room?" Dean clenched his fist. Sam was purposely saying this to get on his last nerve, because he was right. Dean couldn't stop him once he left.  
"Stop acting like a damn child and maybe I'll stop treating you like one." Dean said before he could stop himself. It was a low blow. Sam had felt Dean was treating him like a kid, because Sam knew he really couldn't move around or do things like he was supposed to. That hurt, but he didn't let it show, he just glared at Dean.  
"Shave then bed. I'll be back in forty minutes. Don't do a damn thing while I'm gone." Dean said, warningly. Before Sam could argue Dean turned leaving the bathroom, slamming Sams bedroom door behind him as he stormed out of the bunker.  
Sam groaned frustradly looking at himself in the mirror. Oh he was gonna shower. And he'd look Dean straight in the eye once he got back and tell him. He continued shaving. Pushing aside the tired feeling growing and his side starting to hurt. He wasn't backing down now.

Dean was pissed. No, beyond pissed. He flew out of the bunker and sped to the market. Speeding of course with the music blaring. Once he was in the market and grabbed a few things, stuff for Sam to because even though he was pissed Sam still deserved to eat. He started relaxing once he was in line to pay. Being cooped up in the bunker for almost a week wasn't easy. He sighed as he walked back to his car with his bags. He shouldn't of said those things to Sam. He knew his brother was restless and really wanted to go out. To move. To do something rather than lay in bed for continuous days on end. Dean glanced across the road as he closed the trunk of the car. He looked at the park. It was one with a trail, the one that Sam would usually run when they had been home for long and the kid needed to blow off steam. Dean got into the car starting it. Maybe he should bring Sam out. Not to jog of course but to let him out of the bunker, to stretch those giant legs of his and walk around. He drove back to the bunker, his head in a much better place after cooling down.  
He pulled baby into the garage taking the bags out and heading into the kitchen. He started putting some of the food away. He got some ice cream, soups, pudding and jello. He knew Sam would appreciate those. After he was done, he grabbed some water and a packet of pudding and headed to Sams room. He felt really bad for taking his frustration out on Sam and hoped Sam wasn't still pissed at him. Dean walked into Sams room and frowned. Sam had drank the juice that was on the table but the pain, and anti-inflammatory pills were still there where Dean left them. Sam wasn't supposed to skip taking them. He still had a few more days left before they ran out. His frown deepened as he heard the shower water running. So he had decided to go against Dean and take one anyway. Fuck.  
"Sam?" Dean called, setting the treat and water on the table. He heard no response and went to the bathroom door, opening it and stepping inside.  
"Sammy?" He called again, the shower curtain was shut and he couldn't hear Sam at all. Dammit.  
"Sam.." Dean walked over to the curtain pulling it back slowly, starting to feel irritated again.  
"What the hell do you think you're.." The question died on his lips as he looked down and his eyes widened. Sam was somewhat sitting on the floor of the shower, back against the wall and an arm around his ribs. He looked pale and his eyes were tightly closed. Oh shit.  
Dean didn't think. He stepped into the shower fully clothed crouching beside Sam.  
"Sammy? Sammy?!" He cupped Sams cheek turning his brothers head to face him.  
"Sammy answer me dammit! Open your eyes." Dean told him, starting to panic. He had no Idea how long Sam had been like this.  
Sam slowly opened his eyes, just glancing at Dean, he was taking short quick breaths. Dean could tell he was in pain.  
"Hold on. I'll have you out in a second." Dean stood up turning off the water. He was soaked down to his boots but couldn't care less. He grabbed a towel and went back over to Sam.  
"You gotta talk to me Sam." Dean told him crouching back down. Sam could've hurt himself even more if he fell. Hit his head or reinjured his ribs, maybe making them worse.  
"Sam!" Dean almost yelled Snapping Sam out of his painful daze.  
"Can you get to the bed?" Dean asked, wanting his brother off the floor.  
"Yeah.." Sam said, his voice rough and quiet. Dean grabbed his elbow and underneath his arm, slowly pulling him into a standing position. He heard Sam groan loudly as he did.  
"It's alright. You're alright. I got ya Sammy." Dean told him wrapping the towel around Sam and wrapping an arm around his back, slowly and gently guiding him to bed.  
Sam groaned and winced the whole way, his arm never leaving his side. He was an idiot. A fucking idiot for not listening to Dean. He shouldn't of pushed himself, maybe he was acting like a kid. Maybe he should just lay down and stay out of trouble. Now Dean was soaked and worried about him. Sam couldn't say anything yet. He was in to much pain and to embarrassed about what had happened.  
Dean laid him back in bed leaning over him.  
"Sammy you still with me?" Dean asked. Sam groaned softly.  
"Yeah.." Was all he said, his eyes still squeezed shut. He felt something pushing against his mouth and realized it was the pills he didn't take this morning. He opened his mouth taking them, sitting up as Dean lifted his head and drank to water that was brought to his mouth. He laid back sighing. Another mistake he made.  
"Sammy I know you're in pain but you have to talk to me." Sam heard Dean say. He opened his eyes looking up at Dean. He could see the worry on Deans face, looking him over.  
"Sam did you hit your head?" Dean asked, voice laced with worry as he put his hand gently on Sams head, moving it through his hair feeling for any bumps. Sam just looked at him. He didn't think Dean would really worry about him. He was just waiting for the 'I told you so' or 'This is what you get for acting like a child' instead he heard his name being yelled again, a bit more frantic this time. His eyes met Deans, filled with worry and concern.  
"No." Sam said softly, overcome with more guilt.  
"It's stupid.. I'm ok." He mumbled avoiding his brothers eyes, not wanting to explain what happened in the shower. Dean took a deep breath, some worry leaving him but that wasn't enough for him.  
"That's not gonna cut it Sam. I need to know what's hurting, how it happened." He knew Sams ribs had to be killing him but he wanted to know how. Sam sighed slowly looking up at Dean.  
"I didn't want to take the pills cause they make me tired.. I was already starting to feel tired so I just drank some juice and went back in the bathroom to shower.. I was doing fine.. honestly. I just started feeling tired and my side started hurting from all the moving around.. then I dropped the shampoo bottle and went down to pick it up and.." Sam rubbed his side.  
"My ribs fucking killed.. It was sore but I forgot.. and then I slipt and fell on my side.. my bad side." Deans eyes widened at that. His hands moving down to Sams ribs.  
"Dammit.." Dean mumbled under his breath.  
"I didn't fall right on my ribs. Just more my hip. Just hurt like a bitch." Sam told him softly. Dean know the impacted must've jolted his injury, he just hoped it wasn't any worse. The towel was low around Sams waist, Dean had a hand on Sams hip and another one lightly pressed against his ribs.  
"Take deep slow breaths ok?" Dean said softly. Sam nodded steadying out his breathing. It hurt when Dean pressed down against it, but he stayed still, he let Dean feel around the brake.  
"Does it hurt a lot when you breath?" Dean asked. Sam knew what he was doing, making sure his lung was ok.  
"No, no more then it did before." Dean nodded slowly, he kept his hand over Sams ribs. The breaks didn't feel worse and his breathing seemed to be fine. He gently rubbed his thumb over Sams ribs waiting for his body to relax, after a minute he pulled back.  
"You scared the shit out of me." Dean couldn't help but say. He stood up moving off of the bed. Sam almost thought he was leaving but Dean just grabbed the first aid kit, probably to rewrap his wrists again. Thank God he wasn't leaving. He sat back down on the bed.  
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I know, you were right. I shouldn't of done that. I just.. I needed to be out of bed, needed to do something." Sam said almost helplessly. Dean gently grabbed Sams hand looking over his wrist. He stayed quiet. Like he was studying it. But Dean had seen it every day and knew the progress he was making already.  
"I know you didn't." Dean finally said wrapping up Sams wrist then grabbing the other one. They were both still a bit sore but no signs of infections or swelling.  
"You always were the clumsy one." Dean said trying to ease some of the tension glancing at Sam. Sam was looking down at his hand, no smile on his face. Dean sighed. Alright so no jokes. They were gonna have to talk.  
"Look.." Dean said softly and Sam slowly looked up at him.  
"I'm sorry. About earlier. I was frustrated and took it out on you. You didn't deserve it, and I didn't mean it. You're just as restless as I am.. probably more. A lot more, and you wanna stop laying in bed all the time. I'm surprised we lasted this long before we both snapped." That earned him a small smile from Sam.  
"Thank you." Sam said softly.  
"I just wish I could. I've been in bed almost a week and... It just blows. I know I was acting like a kid and I shouldn't of.."  
"No." Dean cut him off.  
"Trust me Sam if this was reversed I would be giving you a lot more hell right now." Dean told him. Sam laughed softly.  
"Yeah you probably would be." Sam agreed.  
"I'm still sorry. I should've listened to you." Sam said glancing at Dean.  
"It's alright. You have been getting better and I should be worried less. But.. I don't know Sam. You're still hurt. Just don't push it yet. Please." Dean told him. Sam nodded and that was good enough for him.  
"Ok.." Dean stood up and tugged on Sams arm.  
"Come on." Sam looked at him confused.  
"Uh.. why?" Sam asked but slowly pushed himself up. Dean chuckled.  
"Well, in case you haven't noticed we're both soaking wet and have been sitting on your bed. You're not laying in there like that." Sam glanced at the bed, noticing the sheets were soaked.  
"Oh.." He said softly as Dean lightly pulled on his arm, and they both started walking out of the room, down the hall to Deans room. Sam stopped.  
"Dean.. I.. I can go lay on the couch." He said not wanting to take over Deans room. Dean rolled his eyes, moving his arm around Sam gently guiding him through the doorway.  
"Relax Sam, It's fine. I've practically been living in your room anyway. My beds more comfortable anyway." He said helping Sam down onto the bed so he was sitting.  
"Be right back." Dean left the room and Sam watched as he left. Sam smiled to himself glad Dean wasn't pissed at him. If anything he seemed to understand. Not everything of course, he couldn't and Sam didn't want him to, but he was glad Dean got him on this.  
Dean walked back into his bed room and saw Sam smile. Dean had another towel, some of Sams clothes, a water bottle and some pudding. Dean set the clothes by Sam.  
"Dry yourself off then get dressed." Dean said handing him the towel.  
"Then you can have this." He held up the pudding then put it down on his bedside table. Sam smiled wide, Dean couldn't remember the last time he looked that happy.  
"Are you tired?" Dean asked, Sam looked up at him.  
"No, not anymore." Sam told him. Dean nodded.  
"Well after you finish the water and your dessert how about we go to the park?" He asked, Sams eyes went wide.  
"Really?" Sam asked shocked. He didn't think Dean would offer to do that anytime soon. He'd finally get to leave the damn bunker. Dean chuckled.  
"Yes, but all we're gonna do is walk around a bit. That's it." Dean told him.  
"Yeah.. yeah that sounds great." Sam said, Dean could hear the excitement in his voice. Dean turned but felt Sam grab his wrist. He turned back to face Sam.  
"Thank you." Sam said sincerely. For everything. Everything Dean had done for him. The change of bed, helping him after Sam had pissed him off, getting him some close to real food, just for being there, and Dean sensed it all. Dean looked at Sam for a long minute. Then slowly moved forward, leaning down and kissed the top of his head.  
"You're welcome." He said softly, slowly pulling back, sliding his hand out of Sams grip.  
"Hurry up and get dressed, we'll leave soon." Dean said turning and grabbing some dry clothes, and quickly headed to the bathroom shutting the door.  
Sam watched him smiling. That felt different. The kiss. Sure Dean had done that before. Only to calm to him down, but that felt different. He knew it was and knew that's why Dean went to change in the bathroom. To avoid talking about it. But Sam would ask him later. If this is what he hoped it was, it would hopefully be a very good talk. He was looking forward to this one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoyed the long chapter!
> 
> Feel free to comment and let me know what you think!


	19. Chapter 19

It didn't take long for them to had out to the park. Although Dean took his time changing into New clothes, trying to avoid talking to Sam about what had happened before he went into the bathroom. Once he walked out Sam was dressed and finishing up his pudding. Dean helped him out to the car and they drove to the park in silence. But it was comfortable.  
Sam looked out the window smiling, he was happy, happy to be out of that bunker, happy to get some fresh air again, and be outside. Dean glanced at him realising it had been almost a week since Sam had been outside. Dean would've gone crazy if that was the case for him. He hated staying put for a long period of time. He needed to go out. Even if it just meant driving around pointlessly for hours. Once they got to the park, Dean went over to help Sam out of the car. He knew Sam would be annoyed if he stuck to his brother like glue, but since this was his first time back out all Dean wanted was for him to be safe. Once they started to walk to the trail Dean broke the silence.  
"So you weren't like that for long right? In the shower?" He asked not wanting to bring it up, but the thought of Sam sitting on the shower ground in pain made Deans stomach turn.  
"No, I was just like that for a few minutes. Took me a while to get in the shower." Sam said walking slowly along the trail.  
"Thank you for helping me back there. And for bringing me out here. It's so nice to be out of that damn bunker." Sam said enjoying the scenery and the cool fresh air.  
"Yeah well don't thank me yet. This is probably gonna be a short visit. You're still not fully healed yet." Dean pointed out. Sam sighed.  
"I know but I hate sitting in bed all day. Even getting hurt from hunts I've never done that." Sam told him.  
"But this is different Sam, you know that. You've never been.. hurt this way before. I just want to make sure you get better as fast as possible. That way you don't reinjure anything." Dean explained gently. Sam just sighed as he continued to walk slowly.  
"I guess you're right." Sam said softly. Dean smirked teasingly.  
"Of course I'm right. Don't know why you argue with me." He teased. Sam chuckled shaking his head.  
"Jerk." He mumbled, but loud enough for Dean to hear.  
"Bitch." Dean said back. He smiled but it fell remembering that had been one of the names carved into Sams back. He watched Sams face but Sam only grinned shaking his head. Well at least that wouldn't have to change. They walked in silence for a few minutes. Sam looking around, Dean walking beside him mostly watching him, making sure he was ok. After a while Sam seemed to be getting tired. Dean lightly grabbed his elbow and pointed at a bench.  
"Come on. Time to sit down." He told Sam. He heard his brother sigh but didn't protest.  
"Alright." Came Sams quiet reply. He walked to the bench with Dean and sat down letting out a deep breath. Dean sat next to him glancing around then back up at Sam.  
"When we get back up we should go back to the car. We'll go home and I'll get you something to eat.. well, you know what I mean." Dean said. Sam nodded but didn't look happy about it.  
"Don't worry. We can come out here again tomorrow if the weather is good and you're feeling up to it." Dean told him.  
"I'll be up to it even if it's raining." Sam told him and Dean chuckled.  
"I know you would be, but the last thing I want is you hurt and sick." Sam sighed again.  
"Look you're outside now aren't you? Don't worry I'm sure in a few weeks you'll be out jogging again and trust me I'll let you do that on your own." Sam laughed and nodded.  
"You know I wouldn't mind if you came with me.." Sam teased and Dean waved his hand.  
"No way in hell I'm moving anywhere at a fast pace for fun. In a few weeks you can be out jogging and I'll be in bed. Sounds like a nice trade to me." Sam laughed again, because of course Dean would rather do anything then jog. Sam smiled looked around the park then looking back at Dean. He wanted to talk about what had happened before they left but didn't know how to bring it up.  
"So.. earlier in the room. Before we left, right before you changed, you.."  
"Sam.." Dean cut him off rubbing his hand over his face. Dammit this was not a conversation he wanted to have at all, and definitely not in public.  
"Nothing happened." Dean said simply, like he was trying to end the conversation right there.  
"No.." Sam argued gently.  
"After you helped me into your room, before you left, you kissed me."  
"Your forehead." Dean mumbled looking at the ground, his arms crossed.  
"I've done it before, it's not really a big deal." Dean told him trying to brush it off.  
"Only when I was panicking, this time it was different." Sam stated, Dean sighed again and shook his head.  
"Sam, can we not talk about about this right now?" Dean asked rubbing a hand over his face.  
"When can we talk about it?"  
"Never. There's nothing to talk about." Dean said wanting this conversation to end. Wanting these feelings to go away. Wanting to stop now before he said something that would scare Sam off and then Sam wouldn't ever want him around again and..  
"I liked it." Dean snapped his head over staring at Sam, his mouth almost hanging open.  
"You.. You liked.."  
"I did." Sam said, he was facing straight away from Dean. Dean took a deep breath, slowly regaining his composer and looked across the park.  
"Well you shouldn't." Dean told him, hating himself as soon as the words left his mouth.  
"It's wrong Sam, and the only reason you're saying that is because of everything that's happened. Because I'm the one who's helping you."  
"That's what you think?!" Sam asked turning his head to glare at Dean. Dean hated himself for making Sam mad, for trying to convince him out of this, but Sam deserved normal and he sure as hell deserved to be with someone better than him.  
"You really think that's why I'm saying all this? Because I feel grateful to you? Because you're my hero? Fuck you Dean." Sam fumed crossing his arms turning to glare ahead at a tree.  
"I've felt this way for a long time Dean. Months. You really think I'm that stupid to let this situation change how I feel towards you? That that's the reason why I like you?" Sam asked taking a deep breath before continuing.  
"It's not.. It's not and you know it." Sam turned to glance at Dean. Deans head was down, he was leaned over staring at the ground. He had his poker face on, but Sam could still read him.  
"You're trying to convince yourself.. not me.." Sam said softly. Dean took a deep breath, his face not changing.  
"We should head back home now." Dean said after a minute. Sam felt irritated.  
"No. Not until we're done talking." Sam told him.  
"I am done talking. Never wanted to start in the first place." Sam took a slow deep breath.  
"Well I'm not. Don't try to convince me how I feel just because you can't accept how you feel."  
"Sam.." Deans voice came warningly. He didn't want to talk about this. Sam deserved better. Better than some guy who slept around, drank all his problems away and never talked, just like now. He deserved so much better.  
"I mean it. I'm not talking about this because there's nothing to talk about. You can think whatever you want.."  
"I don't think, I know." Sam cut him off. Dean sighed frustratedly, rubbing his hands over his face and standing up he walked a few steps away but stopped. He wouldn't leave and Sam knew it. Not while he was still hurt.  
"I don't know about this Sam." Dean finally spoke after a minute. Good. This was good. At least Dean wasn't fighting it anymore.  
"Trust me, I get it. But why stop it if we both feel the same way?" Sam asked him softly, a hint of desperation in his voice. Dean slowly turned to look at Sam. The last thing he wanted was to make him upset again. He didn't want to stop this, but at the same time he still felt Sam deserved better.  
"Come on. Let's go home." Dean nodded his head towards the path. Sam stared at him for a moment.  
"Dean.." Sams voice was just a whisper, still wanting to talk but scared to push Dean again. Dean smiled softly at him stepping closer and lightly pulled him up by his arm.  
"Come on." Dean said again, still smiling at his brother. Once Sam was standing, Dean moved his arm around Sams back and guided him back to the path. Sam smiled. Ok, so Dean was ok touching him after that, and seemed to be staying close. Maybe he would give this a chance. Dean walked back to the car with Sam. They both stayed quiet, Deans arm didn't leave Sams back until they got to the car door and Dean opened it for Sam. He shut it and got into his side. Starting up the car with a sigh. He looked out the windshield, and stayed quiet for a minute. He wasn't sure what the hell to do. Or say. He wasn't good at this. Talking, feelings, relationships, which is what Sam wanted.. it's what they wanted. He turned his head to look at Sam, finding his brother staring at him. He only offered Sam a smile before he started to drive.  
He thought again in silence. Well if he was gonna do this, he was gonna do this right. He didn't want to fuck things up with Sam. Sam glanced at Dean after a moment of silence.  
"Stop thinking so hard, that's my job." Sam told him. Dean snorted shaking his head but he smiled. He stayed facing the road, but could see Sam out of the corner of his eye. Dean reached over to grab and hold one of Sams hands. Sam looked down at their hands then over at Dean, his eyes wide. Sam slowly smiled and looked down at their hands again. Slowly pulling Deans hand over so he was holding it on his lap. Sam heard Dean chuckle and glanced up at him.  
"Such a sap Sammy." Dean said softly. Sam just smiled wider, looking down at their hands. Even though Dean called him the sap, it was Dean who started moving his thumb across Sams knuckles, holding Sams hand oh-so gently to not hurt his fingers. Sam didn't even argue, because Dean was giving them a chance, and that's all Sam wanted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tiny bit of drama and arguing because I feel that always makes the story better.
> 
> I'm finally moving things along. I hope you all enjoy this chapter.
> 
> Feel free to comment! Let me know what you think!


	20. Chapter 20

They got back to the bunker. Dean helped Sam inside and they walked into the kitchen. Sam kept walking heading to the hall to go to his room.  
"Hey." Dean stopped him, lightly grabbing his arm.  
"If you're not that tired how about you sit out here for a while. I'll make some soup and you can eat out here." Dean offered, knowing how sick Sam was of laying in bed all day. Sam smiled and nodded.  
"Yeah, that sounds really nice actually." Sam said moving to the table and sitting down in one of the chairs.  
"Alright, you stay there and I'll get you some soup." Dean tod him, Sam chuckled.  
"I don't really have a choice." He said, Dean smiled, pulling out a pan to put over the stove.  
"Well you could always try to take a shower again, but we both know how that turned out last time." He teased and Sam laughed.  
"Shut up. You're never gonna let me live that down are you?" Sam asked. Dean opened the container of soup, turning on the stove top to heat it up.  
"Nope!" Dean stated his back to Sam. He knew he couldn't do much to the soup, and Sam couldn't have any soup with solid food in it, so Dean added a few spices to it. Sam laughed shaking his head.  
"Jerk.." Sam mumbled but Dean could hear him.  
"Bitch!" Dean called back and Sam laughed.  
"You shouldn't be making fun of the person who's making your food." Dean warned playfully, making Sam laugh again.  
"Yeah I can, I doubt you'd really do anything to it." Sam pointed out.  
"I'll make you wear it." Dean chuckled, stirring the soup around. Sam shook his head but was smiling.  
"Then I really would have to shower again." Sam told him.  
"Ok, ok fine. I won't do anything.. yet." Dean mumbled the last but but Sam heard him. He smiled shaking his head. Dean was always cracking jokes, trying to take his mind off of things. Sam knew they really should talk more. Dean never said he'd be together with him.. well, together, together. Dean more acted on it and Sam felt they should still talk, but he knew Dean would avoid it. He sat there in silence as Dean heated and made up his soup and something for himself to eat. Once the soup was done he made up a bowl of it and put it in front of Sam.  
"Hope you like your lunch." Dean told him, going to the fridge and getting some water for Sam and himself.  
"Trust me, I'll enjoy this immensely." Sam said and started to eat. It was a plain tomato soup, but whatever Dean put in it made it taste even better.  
"This is really good." Sam told him, he heard Dean snort.  
"It's just soup Sam." Dean said, he wasn't sitting at the table with Sam, he was over at the countertop eating what he had made for himself. Sam didn't have to ask, he knew why Dean was over there.  
"Dean, you know you can sit with me right?" He asked, knowing Dean felt guilty about eating in front of him. Dean nodded, he was about to talk but stopped himself, he picked up his plate with his sandwich and took that and his water over to the table to sit with Sam.  
Sam smiled at him, despite the teasing Dean had been pretty quiet. Typical. Especially for what was going on.  
"So after you're done eating you're gonna have to take more meds. Which will probably make you tired." Dean said and heard Sam sigh.  
"Dean.." Sam started to argue.  
"Sammy I don't like this anymore than you do ok? But you only have to take them for a few more days. Then you'll be up and moving around more, and not as tired. Just please take them. Please relax for the next few days. I promise after thats all done you'll be able to start exercising more. I know how much of a health freak you are." Dean told him. Sam chuckled softly and sighed.  
"Fine." Sam mumbled but he didn't sound happy.  
"Don't worry, we'll start sparring soon and I'll kick your ass just like always." Dean grinned as he ate.  
"Shut up." Sam said, but was smiling now. Dean smiled to himself because of it. They finished their food, mostly in silence. Dean took the empty dishes to the sink and then they walked down the hall to their room. Sam was about to walk into his room when Dean gently grabbed his elbow.  
"Uh-uh. I gotta change the sheets remember?" Dean told him and guided Sam back down the hall to his room. Sam sighed.  
"You don't have to. I've slept in worse before and they're probably dry now." Sam told him but walked towards Deans room anyway.  
"God you are so stubborn, I swear it's like talking to a brick wall." Dean said dramatically and Sam smacked his arm.  
"Look who's talking!" Sam shot back.  
"Who me? stubborn? Sammy I have no idea what you're talking about." Dean said and gently pushed Sam into his bedroom. Sam laughed softly and shook his head.  
"Asshole." He mumbled, and Dean heard it but didn't do anything. He told Sam to get comfortable and went to go get his meds and water. When he came back into the room Sam was sitting with his back resting against the headboard, shoes and jacket off. Dean smiled and handed him his meds and some water, watching Sam take them.  
"Ok Samantha, time for a nap." Dean said pulling the covers up over him.  
"When I'm better I'm so kicking your ass." Sam mumbled laying down as Dean pulled the covers over him.  
"I'd like to see you try." Dean told Sam with a smirk.  
"I'd like to see you stop me." Sam mumbled, letting his head fall back against the pillow.  
"Oh I will, good night princess." Dean smirked, and Sam let out a loud huff, clearly not liking the name.  
"Bite me jerk." Sam said partially glaring at him. Dean chuckled looking down at him.  
"Don't tempt me.. bitch." Dean said quietly and Sams face softened up. Dean sighed watching him for a second.  
"Get some rest." Dean told him softly. Sam nodded and smiled slightly at him. Dean watched him for another moment and then leaned over, pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead. He get up and walked out of the room without looking back. Sam smiled and watched him leave. He knew this was something Dean needed to get used to and Yeah they would have to talk about it, but at least Dean wasn't freaking out like before. Sam closed his eyes and let the drowsiness the meds cause overcome him and slowly fell asleep.

Dean was back on his laptop. An article had come up about a fire that happened near the town from the previous day. There was a fire that happened, in that house. The one they had kept Sam in. It was an electric fire.  
"Maybe from the tv I busted with that guys head head." Dean thought out loud. He also read that all the bodies were found, each one he killed. So now they were all dead and their bodies all burned to a crisp.  
"Fuckers got less than what they deserved." Dean mumbled lowly. Part of him, just a small part was wishing one of them was alive, that one of them wasn't dead just so he could kill them again. After all the pain they had caused his brother, Dean had killed them all too quickly. They deserved so much worse. Dean sighed shutting his laptop. He went into the kitchen to get himself a drink. After the morning with Sam and now this article out he felt he needed one. He hadn't had one in a while. He poured himself some whiskey and leaned against the counter drinking it. He let out a long sigh feeling the burn go down his throat. It felt nice, relaxing. He let himself relax for a few more moments. He finished his drink and went back to his laptop. He didn't reread the article but looked for other ones. He didn't find an and was glad. He then went on different websites, maybe he'd find a movie to watch, just to help him try and relax. Before he could even browse the action section he froze, eyes going wide from some familiar but heartbreaking sounds.

"NO!!! STOP!!"

Dean stood up so fast and bolted out of the room he knocked his chair over. Almost pushing his laptop off the table. Fuck! Sam hadn't had a nightmare in days. Dean was praying they would've passed. But clearly they hadn't. Sam had been left alone for an hour at the most and Deans anger, wanted to kill those mean boiled up again.

Dean ran into Sams room sitting right beside him, gently grabbing his arms to try and keep him still. Sam was thrashing around, head flopping left and right, strangled yells leaving his mouth and Deans heart broke with every sound he made.  
"Sammy! Sammy wake up!" Dean yelled shaking Sam. He felt Sam struggle in his hold for a moment. Then his eyes flew open in his half asleep daze. He tried pushing Dean away, scooting back.  
"NO! Stop it! Stop!!" Sam yelled at him. trying to pull his arms away. Dean lowered his voice. Scooting closer, keeping his movements slow.  
"Sammy it's me. You're safe Sammy, it's only me." He said gently watching Sam pant, his eyes quickly searching the room before landing on Dean. Deans heart shattered watching Sam.  
"Dean..?" Sams voice was broken and there were tears in his eyes. Dean didn't hesitate to pull Sam against his chest, wrapping his arms around his little brother.  
"You're ok sweetheart. You're safe. You're home." Dean whispered. Sam hugged him tightly, his face buried into Deans neck as he cried softly. Dean rubbed his back slowly, whispering softly to him. He remembered the last time this happened to Sam, telling him it was just a nightmare did not help, he wouldn't make that mistake again.  
"Baby you're home. You're with me. You're safe here sweetheart I promise. I won't let them hurt you, no one will ever touch you again. I'm gonna keep you safe Sammy. I promise baby boy. You're always safe with me." Dean whispered, his lips brushing over Sams ear as he spoke. He held Sam, talking gently to him, repeating those promises over and over until he felt Sam start to calm down. Sam took shaky breaths, hugging Dean, his tight grip slowly loosening. He breathed in deeply, sniffling. Those damn memories always getting to him in his sleep.  
"I'm sor.."  
"Don't apologize Sammy." Dean cut him off gently, not wanting to hear it.  
"Not your fault remember?" Dean asked softly, rubbing small circles on Sams back. He felt Sam nod against his neck and take in another shaky breath.  
"That's right sweetheart. Just breathe now ok?" Dean said and kissed Sams temple gently. He felt Sams body relax against his, and soon Sams wild heartbeat slowed. Dean slowly eased himself back onto the bed so he was laying on his back and Sam was still in his arms.  
"You think you can go back to sleep?" Dean asked, lightly combing his fingers through Sams hair. Sam took a shaky breath, his head resting against Deans shoulder, and an arm around Deans waist. He was tired. The fucking meds would make it hard to stay up, especially after walking today.  
"Yes.." Sam mumbled but Dean could tell Sam didn't want to.  
"I'll be right here. I promise Sammy. Right here when you wake up." Dean said rubbing his back lightly. Sam let out a deep breath, almost melting against Deans body. Dean knew it was from relief. Sam didn't want to sleep alone. At least not now.  
"Thank you.. thank you Dean." Sam whispered, his arm tightening around Dean. Dean smiled sadly.  
"Don't thank me sweetheart. Just try to relax, I'm right here, Always will be." Dean said as he continued to comb his fingers through Sams hair. He felt his brother relax slowly, his arm loosening but not moving off of Dean. Dean just held him. Dean wasn't tired, and didn't feel like taking a nap. He'd sleep later, but for now he was more than ok with laying in his bed, holding his brother while he slept. Because he wanted to. He wanted to comfort Sam, and to be with Sam. It was hard to talk about. Sam deserved better, but Sam seemed to want this as much as Dean did, so Dean would do it. He kissed Sams head listening to his soft breathing. Peaceful and even, he knew Sam was asleep. And he wouldn't move to a muscle to wake him, not if he could help it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More of a filler chapter but I tried to make it good.
> 
> Feel free to comment! Let me know what you think!


	21. Chapter 21

Over the past few days Sam seemed to get better, and Dean was thrilled with it. It had been three days since the nightmare, three days since their talk in the park, well.. sorta talk. They hadn't spoke about things since. Or acted any more on it than they already had been.  
Sam found himself still sleeping in Deans room. Dean saying how his bed was more comfortable and Sam just went with it. He didn't argue and liked being close to his brother. He never had his nightmares, or flashbacks. But Dean had never once brought up or mentioned anything about, well, 'them'. Dean would still hold him at night and kiss his forehead before going to bed, but that was it. Sam didn't want to complain but at the same time it made him a bit upset. Dean would usually jump into bed with someone the first chance he got. And that was just how Dean was, Sam wouldn't judge him for it, but why wouldn't Dean do anything else with him? And how the hell could he bring it up to him? Sam sighed as they got back from the park. Dean had taken him every day, and Sam was walking and getting around much better. He was also eating a bit more solid foods since it had been over a week since the incident.

Sam sat at the kitchen table and Dean pulled out some fruit from the fridge for him setting it down in front of him.  
"So, um.." Sam began slowly, not sure how to talk about this with him.  
"So I think we should talk.. about us." Sam said slowly, looking over at Dean as his brother walked over with a beer, sitting across from him.  
"About us what?" Dean asked sipping some of his beer. Sam rolled his eyes eating a piece of watermelon. Of course Dean knew, he just didn't want to talk about it.  
"You know what I mean." Sam said.  
"I mean.. us. What we talked about in the park." Sam told him.  
"All I remember is you complaining about not being able to jog yet. The answer is still no. Not for a few days." Dean told him sipping more of his beer.  
"No not that, you know exactly what I'm talking about Dean." Sam told him.  
"I told you how I felt and we.. we haven't done anything yet. We barely even talked about it at all." Sam said starting to get frustrated.  
"There's nothing to talk about." Dean shrugged.  
"I don't know why you insist we need to talk, because we don't."  
"No. You're wrong. We do need to talk." Sam told him matter of factly.  
"We haven't done anything, and even back at the park you tried brushing it off but we need to talk about it." Sam told him.  
"Of course we haven't done anything!" Dean said looking at Sam like he was crazy.  
"You're still healing Sam, I'm not going to try and.."  
"I'm not talking about that!" Sam said cutting him off. He wasn't going to demand having sex with Dean, although he wouldn't say no to it either. He just wished Dean was more open with him. Although Sam had felt that Dean felt the same way he did, Dean would hold him at night, kiss his head, even held his hand the one day, but he never out right said it.  
"I'm talking about.. fuck why is this so hard for you to talk about?" Sam couldn't help but ask.  
"Do you even like me? Or are you just doing all this because you feel sorry for me? Because of what I've gone through.."  
"Hold on a minute!" Dean interrupted him.  
"This isn't out of pity Sam, I wouldn't do that to you. Is that what you really think this is?" Dean asked holding his arms out. Sam groaned loudly.  
"What 'what' is?!" Sam asked.  
"Dean, we haven't done anything! Except you comforting me. You never even said you liked me, what the hell am I supposed to think?" Sam asked.  
"I thought it was pretty obvious by now." Dean shrugged. Sam sighed loudly and rubbed a hand over his face.  
"But you didn't.. you never.." Sam closed his eyes rubbing a hand over his face again.  
"Just forget it.. forget I brought this up." Sam said quietly, facing down at the table. Dean nodded slowly keeping his eyes on Sam.  
"Finish your food." Dean told him.  
"Yeah, yeah." Sam mumbled. Dean got up slowly but didn't move away from the table. Instead he walked over to Sam, cupping his cheek and leaned over kissing the top of his head. Sam couldn't help but smile despite everything. He knew Dean cared, he just wished his brother could talk about it more. Dean pulled back slightly, resting his forehead against the top of Sams head.  
"I want to do things right with you." Dean told him softly.  
"Right? Right how?" Sam asked quietly. Dean pulled back looking down at Sam, meeting his brother gaze, his hand still on his brothers cheek.  
"Sam, you're not like the other people I've been with.." Dean told him. Referring to his hook ups, late nights finding girls at bars.  
"It's not like that at all. I don't plan on getting in bed with you and then leaving." Dean told him.  
"I.. I know that Dean. I didn't think you would." Sam said looking up at his brother, searching his eyes. He could tell something was still bothering Dean about this. He just couldn't figure out what it was.  
"So what's the problem?" Sam asked softly, not demanding but he needed to know. Dean just sighed but his eyes never left Sams. Sam let out his own sigh and started talking quietly.  
"Look, I'm not asking you to make me a candlelit dinner, or to.. to leave a trail of rose petals down the hall to the bedroom. I know you Dean, I know how you are. I'm not trying to make you do anything just.. what's the problem? I don't understand." Sam said, his eyes never leaving Deans face. Dean sighed softly. Moving his thumb over Sams cheek lightly.  
"You deserve so much better." Dean whispered. Sams eyes widened. So this was the problem? This is what Dean thought?  
"You.. No. Dean, why would you even say that?" Sam asked. He was so confused. Dean was perfect. Why the hell would he want anyone else if he could have Dean.  
"Because it's true." Dean told him softly.  
"You deserve a good life, not one like this. I dragged you back into this, all the hunts, the life you didn't want to have. Someone who will actually talk to you because for me it's just so damn hard. You should have the life you wanted with someone else who wants the same thing." Dean told him.  
"Yeah, life I wanted, as in past tense. I don't want that anymore. I wouldn't be able to have that even if I tried. I just said I was fine with this, with how you are. I know you won't give up hunting and I'm ok with it. Why don't you get that?" Sam asked.  
"Because you deserve so much better than this life.. so much better than me." Dean told him. Sam let out a small breath. How the hell would he get through to Dean?  
"You're the only one who deserves me." Sam stated. He didn't like this, how little Dean thought of himself. Dean always referred to Sam as the smart one, to himself as the grunt. Sam hated that, and it was about time Dean started to realize how wrong he was.  
"You've been here for me my whole life. You watched over me. You raised me. You did everything you coud to give me a good life. And you still do that, even now." Sam told him, Dean opened his mouth to talk but Sam cut him off.  
"You always have my back, you always help me even when I don't want it but I need it. And I'll never stop.. never stop needing you. Don't say I deserve better, because I'm not gonna find anyone better. I have you and that's all I'll ever need. So don't you dare say you're not good enough, because that couldn't be further from the truth." Sam told him. Dean just stared at Sam, taking in his words. Dean slowly lifted his hand, cupping Sams cheeks. He leaned forward pressing a soft, long kiss against his forehead. Sam closed his eyes, reaching up to hold Deans wrists gently. Dean slowly moved his thumbs against Sams cheeks and pulled back pressing his face into Sams hair.  
"Alright.. alright." Dean said softly. But no this wasn't alright, not to Sam. But if Dean was taking his words into consideration, believing what he said, then yeah. Maybe things would be alright.

After staying that way for a few moments Dean pulled back, letting Sam finish eating, and cleaning up part of the kitchen. Once Sam finished He got up and went to his room to sleep.. well Deans room. Dean had taken the sheets from Sams bed to wash but never replaced them, not that Sam minded at all, he actually liked it. Just an excuse to be together. Sam wasn't even in the room yet and heard Dean walking in behind him.  
As Dean left the kitchen to follow Sam he thought about what Sam had told him. How Sam did want to be with him, despite everything. Despite how in Deans mind Sam was so out of his league. But Sam seemed upset by it. Maybe, just maybe Dean had been wrong. He was still nervous about this. About being with Sam, still thinking his brother deserved better, but Sam had been convincing. Maybe Sam was right about this after all. Dean stood in the doorway watching Sam take some of his remaining meds. His pain ones were gone, and he only had a few left few left to help fight any possible infections. He watched as Sam got out of his jeans and went into bed. That's how they both usually slept. With their boxers and shirts on, but not tonight. At least not for Dean.  
Dean turned off the light after Sam got into bed and under the covers. Dean got out of his jeans, and then pulled off his shirt, letting it drop t the floor. He made his way over to the bed, sliding underneath the covers. He laid on his side, propped up on his elbow looking at Sam. Sam was on his back. He turned to face Dean, his eyes searching Deans face in the dark, letting his eyes adjust.  
"Dean?" Sam asked softly, seeing his brother looking at him. Dean smiled softly at Sam, he reached over resting his hand on Sams cheek, leaning closer to him.  
"I want to be with you." Dean whispered to him. Sams eyes widened and he gasped softly. He shouldn't be surprised, he wasn't really. But hearing Dean say that, hearing his brother admit it out loud, that's all Sam really wanted. Dean leaned over Sam, closing the distance between them. Pressing his lips against Sams in a gentle kiss.  
Sam let his eyes flutter shut. He almost couldn't believe this was happening. He slowly kissed back, reaching up to cup Deans face, moving his thumb against Deans stubble. He felt Dean move over him, his elbows resting on both sides of Sams face, careful to not put any weight on Sams ribs.  
Dean deepened the kiss, kissing Sam slowly but gently. Like Sam was delicate. Like he was scared he'd break Sam if he went any further. Dean cupped Sams cheeks moving his lips slowly against Sams. He slid his hand into Sams hair, and pulled back resting his forehead against Sams.  
"I want to be with you." Dean repeated a bit firmly, his lips brushing against Sams as he spoke. He wanted Sam to know, all doubts aside, Dean wanted to be with him. Sam nodded taking a shaky breath. He knew it, he believed it. He wanted this as much as Dean did.  
"So do I." Sam said softly, Dean smiled and kissed Sam again. He pulled back and slowly rolled them around, holding Sam against his chest. He wanted to do a lot with Sam, So much. But he couldn't yet, so he'd stop before they took things too far.  
"Sleep." Dean said softly, slowly rubbing Sams back.  
"I'll be right here when you wake up." Sam smiled, his head resting on Deans bare shoulder. He turned his head kissing Deans chest before settling back down against him.  
"Good night Dean." Sam said softly, his arm around Deans waist. Dean smiled kissing the top of Sams head. There were no more maybes in his mind. Not anymore. Sam belonged with Dean, and Dean belonged to Sam.  
"Good night baby boy." Dean whispered into Sams hair. They both fell asleep slowly, to the sounds of each others quiet breathing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this took so long to update!! I really hope you guys like it.
> 
> Feel free to comment! Let me know what you think!


	22. Chapter 22

The next morning Dean woke up, he was happy. Happy that Sam was getting better, happy that they were together. He looked down at Sam, gently rubbing his back. Seeing him still sleeping peacefully. Dean kissed his forehead and Sam stirred slightly, slowly waking up. He looked up at Dean, a sleepy smile on his face.   
"Morning." Sam said softly, his head still resting on Deans chest.  
"Morning Sammy." Dean said softly. "How are you feeling?" Sam shrugged.  
"Better. Hungry more than anything." Dean smiled at that, Sam had been getting better every day and it seemed he was getting close to a hundred percent.  
"I'll go make us something. Hows pancakes sound?" He asked his hand still moving over Sams back. Sam smiled at the suggestion.  
"You'll really let me eat normal foods again?" He asked glancing up at Dean. Dean smiled slightly.  
"Well you have been, I mean some foods anyway. But the doctor said a week and it's been over a week so I don't see why not. That is.. if you're not.. sore where.." Sam shook his head.  
"No. I'm fine. I told you I'm feeling a lot better." Dean nodded.  
"Pancakes it is. You're gonna have to get off of me for that though." He teased lightly. Sam just smiled.  
"I don't want to move.." He said softly. Dean chuckled.  
"Then no breakfast." Sam sighed loudly.  
"Jerk." He mumbled moving off of Dean.  
"Hey. I'm going to make you breakfast and you're calling me names? Bitch." Dean grinned sitting up and stretching as Sam laid next to him laughing softly. Dean smiled glancing at Sam then hesitating a second before leaning over to kiss his forehead again.  
"Get dressed. Breakfast will be ready soon." Dean told him, and with that he slipped out of the room and headed down the hall to the kitchen. Sam watched him leave. He knew this was all newer to Dean. And no, now he wouldn't blame Dean for taking things slower. He'd take that over Dean freaking out on him. After a few more minutes of relaxing, and the smell of delicious breakfast food filling the room Sam pushed off the covers and got out of bed. He changed into Jeans and a flannel shirt and headed to the kitchen. Things seemed to be ok.

Dean was putting some pancakes on a plate, and bacon on another. He was about to call for Sam when he heard Sams footsteps heading into the kitchen.  
"About time princess. Breakfast is gonna get cold." He said putting the plates on the table.  
"Well aren't you prince charming." Sam said, but a bit sarcastically.  
"Of course I am." Dean said.  
"With all the beauty sleep you've been getting someone has to be." He looked at Sam and winked. Sam just rolled his eyes but felt himself blush a bit. Deans flirting had never been directed towards him and it felt.. nice. Dean brought out silverware and plates for them setting them on the table.  
"Dig in." Dean told him, sitting next to Sam as he started eating. Sam ate humming in appreciation.  
"This is so good. I miss when you would make these all the time." Sam told him.  
"Well that's kinda hard to do out on the road." Dean said eating a piece of bacon.  
"But I'll see what I can do now that we're back here for a while." Sam looked up at him.  
"What do you mean? I'm pretty much better now Dean. I figured you'd want to jump at the first hunt that comes our way." Dean shook his head. That may of been the case before when one of them was hurt but this, this was different.  
"Let's not get ahead of ourselves." Dean told him.  
"You are pretty much better yeah, but you've been laying in bed for over a week. I think you need some training before heading back out on the road. Nothing major so don't worry just.. start on your jogging again and practice your shooting." He told Sam. Sam nodded slowly, understanding. Part of him was glad Dean wasn't looking for another hunt yet. But part of him wanted to get out of the bunker. Jogging seemed a good place to start.  
"Ok, I get it. Maybe.. tomorrow I can go jogging.." He trailed off, looking down at his food. Hoping Dean would agree. He knew Dean wanted him to wait but there was only so much waiting he could do, especially now. He felt so much better. Dean looked up at him and sighed.  
"We'll see.." He said knowing Sam still wasn't completely better.  
"I know you're feeling better but your ribs aren't fully healed yet. If you do go then you'll start slow don't marathon it." Dean said, Sam nodded. At least it wasn't a no.  
"I won't push it I promise. Thanks Dean."  
"Yeah, yeah.." Dean mumbled as he ate. He was glad Sam had asked when honestly he could've gone out wether Dean agreed to it or not. At least he wasn't asking for today.

After Dean finished his food he took his plate to the sink. Sam still working on his, his appetite not fully back yet but Dean couldn't blame him after everything. He wasn't allowed to eat at all for days so that was only normal. He went to clear the table and heard Sams phone ringing. Odd, who could be calling. He watched as Sam pulled his phone out to answer it. Sam checked the number, it didn't seem familiar but he answered it anyway.  
"Hello?" He said, and Dean stood there, watching. Almost having a bad feeling about it. He saw as Sams eyes widened a bit and his body stiffened.  
"H-hi Doctor. Yeah it's me Sam.. no I've been ok, getting better." Sam said, and Deans own eyes widened slightly hearing who was on the phone. But why would he be calling? They hadn't called him or asked him to check in on Sam, so what could the problem be?  
"S-so.. the results are all.. done?" Sam asked, fidgeting in his seat suddenly. Deans jaw almost dropped in realization. Shit. The tests for Sam. Him possibly having STDs. Why had Dean forgotten about it. He walked closer to Sam, and even though he didn't want to, he offered.  
"Hey. I can leave the room if you want me to.." Sam immediately reached over grabbing Deans wrist. There was no way in hell Sam wanted to be alone when hearing this. No matter what it was, he was going to tell Dean anyway. He shook his head and put the phone on speaker.  
"Ok. So what are they? You can tell me now." Sam said holding the phone in front of him. Dean slid his arm from Sams grip to hold onto his hand. He didn't care if Sam did get something from one of the men.. ok well yeah he would care. He'd be pissed. He'd be angry and upset, but no matter what, he'd stick with Sam, help him through whatever happened.  
"We just got the results back this morning so we called first thing." Doctor Garvin told them, Sam tightened his grip on Deans hand and Dean squeezed back gently, letting Sam know he was there. He would always be there.  
"After running tests on all the different types of STDs, your results came in and you're negative for all of them." Sam let out a loud breath and Dean felt his body relaxing, letting out a breath he didn't know he was holding. Sam was ok.  
"So.. so everything's fine?" Sam asked, taking shaky breaths. He had been so worried about this since the doctor had talked to him about it and now, now he was ok. He could breath easier now. Worry less.  
"Yes. That is if your healing has been going well, you are out of state so I'm not sure about your progress." The doctor said over the phone.  
"He's fine." Dean chimed in, Sam squeezed his hand lightly, grateful he was there.  
"He's been getting a lot of sleep and taking the medication. All his swelling has gone down and his bruising is too. He's been walking around fine and starting eating solid foods." Dean informed him.  
"Ah, Dean. I'm glad Sam had someone helping him. Well yes. Seems you're getting back on track. You should be able to start some light activities, just be cautious of your breaks. I don't think those healed as quickly." The doctor said.  
"Will do doc. Thanks for calling." Dean said.  
"Thank you.. we'll call if there's a problem. Bye." Sam said and with that he hung up the phone letting out another long breath. Dean smiled down at Sam pulling him up from his chair.  
"You're ok." Dean said softly and pulled Sam into a hug. So much relief and stress gone. No more worry to focus on anything but his current injuries.  
"You're ok." Dean repeated and felt Sam hug him back. Sam took deep breaths. Letting Dean hold him, and held onto him. He spoke after a moment, trusting his voice now.  
"I thought I would be.. I mean, I knew there was always a chance that it could happen but, I figured I'd be ok." Dean pulled back slightly to look up at Sam.  
"Why? How'd you think that?" Dean asked curiously. Sam bit his lip looking down.  
"They uh... those guys... uh.." Sam hesitated, taking a second before answering.  
"They always used condoms.. said they had no idea where I had been before." He mumbled and shrugged keeping his head down.  
"So I mean.. I knew there was a chance but, It wasn't very high." He said. Dean clenched his jaw, his anger for all those mean returning.  
"Fucking pieces of shit." Dean said, his arms tightening around Sam.  
"I swear to God if they weren't all dead I'd be out there hunting them all down. Fucking bastards." Dean couldn't believe these men. No. Monsters. Who the hell does that to people? He saw Sam smile sadly.  
"So they're all dead huh?" He asked softly.  
"Every last one of them." Dean assured Sam firmly.  
"I told you I took care of it. There was no way in hell I was letting them live after that Sam, I couldn't." Dean didn't kill humans. They saved people. Hunted monsters. But them, they were an exception. Sam nodded slowly lifting his head to meet Deans gaze.  
"Thank you." He said softly. Dean pulled Sam back into a hug.  
"I'd do it again." Dean told him, feeling Sam relax against him.  
"Fucking dicks deserved it. Everything I did to them and more." Sam couldn't help but smile slightly hearing that. Sometimes Dean could be over the top with his protectiveness but Sam was grateful for it now. Dean turned his head and gently kissed Sams temple.  
"Are you ok?" He asked softly, this had to be a lot to take in, and the memories it was bringing up probably wasn't helping.  
"Yeah I.. I'm ok." Sam said softly and let out a sigh.  
"Just relieved.. and glad that you're here."  
"Where else would I be?" Dean smiled rubbing Sams back. Sam chuckled softly.  
"I don't know. Out a bar drinking your sorrows away?"  
"At nine thirty in the morning? I don't know what bar you're talking about but I'd love to visit it." Dean smirked, and Sam sighed but smiled shaking his head and slowly pulled back.  
"Speaking of bars, we should celebrate." Dean told him. Sam thought for a second opening his mouth to protest but Dean cut him off.  
"Just hear me out. You haven't been out in a while and this.. this is definitely worth celebrating. Besides, I never said it would be at a bar." Dean grinned. Sam looked at him confused.  
"Then where? It's not like we really go anywhere else."  
"Just leave that to me." Dean smiled. He'd make sure Sam would have fun tonight. And it wouldn't be something he'd suspect either. But it would be something he'd like, Dean would make sure of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy crap it's been far to long! I'm so so sorry. I've been really busy with work (I got a new job yay) and cleaning out my room. But I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I have plans to start the next one ASAP!
> 
>  
> 
> Feel free to comment! Let me know what you think!


	23. Chaper 23

For the rest of the day Sam tried to make Dean tell him where they were going. Asking him millions of questions but Dean refused to answer every one of them. He didn't want to give Sam any hints, he wanted this to be a nice surprise. It wasn’t a huge grand idea, he didn’t think Sam would like something big. It would be nice. Small. Just something for the two of them.

It wasn’t until the sun was already setting and they had finished up dinner that Dean told him to grab his jacket so they could head out.  
Sam was still confused. He thought maybe they’d be going out somewhere to eat. Or maybe Dean changed his mind and they were gonna go to a bar. Sam went and got his jacket and shoes on and Dean came over smiling.  
“All set?” He asked. Sam looked over at him and nodded.  
“Yeah. I mean, I think I am. I don’t know if I need anything else. Can’t you just tell me where we’re going?” Sam asked him. Dean only shook his head.  
“You’ll find out soon enough. Let’s go.” And with that Dean headed off to the car. Sam rolled his eyes but followed. He couldn’t help but smile though. This was nice. Them going out.. well somewhere. Usually when they went anywhere it was crappy motels, local diners, sketchy bars. Sam hoped it would be something different. But if not, at least he’d be with Dean wherever it was he had planned out.

They both got into baby, Dean driving of course. And he drove. For a while. Sam glanced out the window. Watching the scenery. He was a bit more confused as Dean seemed to drive further and further away from any sort of civilization, and towards the middle of nowhere.  
“Are you sure you’re heading the right way?” Sam asked. The sun had finished setting already and it was getting dark out now.  
“Of course I am. Don’t question my awesome driving skills.” Dean told him. Sam chuckled.  
“So you’re what exactly? Driving me to the middle of nowhere so you can hide my body?” Sam joked, Deans smile feel slightly.  
“Don’t say that.” He told Sam. After almost losing his brother Dean had been a bit uneasy about joking around that way.  
“Besides, I could just leave you in the bunker. It’s not like anyone would find you there.” He pointed out. Sam sighed.  
“You’re really not gonna tell me?” He asked, missing how Deans face fell slightly, seeing him smile now.  
“We’ll be there soon Sam. I promise. Just relax would ya?” He said glancing at Sam.  
“I swear you’re like a kid when I’m driving. You sure you don’t need me to stop because you have to use the bathroom or something?” Dean asked. Sam smacked his arm, only making Dean laugh.  
“Jerk.” Sam huffed.  
“Bitch.” Dean grinned.  
“Don’t worry. You’re gonna love it... at least I hope you do.” He added, Sam’s eyes widened slightly.  
“What’s that mean?” He asked. Dean only shrugged.  
“That I hope you like it.” He said chuckling.  
“I mean, it’s not like we’ve never done this before it’s just.. I don’t know. Been a while. And it’ll be different.” Dean told him.  
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Sam asked. Even more confused now. Maybe asking for hints was a bad idea. He was even more baffled now as to where they were going. Dean laughed softly shaking his head.  
“I’ve said to much already.” He grinned.  
“Besides, I don’t need to say anything else. We’re here now.” Dean told him. Sam looked out the window, seeing well.. nothing.  
“What do you mean?” Sam asked.  
“Dean.. there’s nothing here. No buildings or.. or anything.” All that was around them were open fields and woods in the distance.  
“Have you been taking my meds?” Sam asked glancing back at his brother. Dean just laughed and slowed the car down.  
“No.” Dean chuckled and turned the car off road, driving slowly onto the open field before he stopped the car. Parking it and turning it off. Sam was still confused. What were they doing out here?

Dean got out of the car and Sam followed. Sam walked around to the hood of the car scratching the back of his neck looking around. Nothing but a big empty field. He didn’t notice Dean going to the trunk pulling some stuff out. Dean walked over to where Sam was. Smiling at his brother. He patted the hood of the car.  
“Hop on.” He said. Sam looked at him.  
“Wha...” He asked but the question died on his lips. Realizing what they may be doing.  
“Dean..” He said softly.  
“Shh, just get on the hood.” Dean told him. Getting on himself, scooting back so his back was leaning against the windshield.  
“Or do you need help princess?” He teased. Sam shook his head, blushing slightly.  
“Shut up.” He mumbled, getting onto the hood. Pushing himself back so he was laying next to Dean. He couldn’t help but smile. They hadn’t done this in a long time. He leaned back and looked up at the stars. It was perfect out. A little cold, but it was clear sky’s. No clouds anywhere. He could see every star in the sky. Sam felt Dean tap his arm and he glanced at Dean, seeing his brother handing him a beer.  
“You thought of everything huh?” Sam asked softly. Taking the bottle of beer from him. Dean shrugged.  
“I like to be prepared.” He stated. Sam chuckled and shook his head. He opened his beer and sipped on it looking up at the sky. Doing this reminded him of when they were younger. When they weren’t on the road all the time. They’d go out to empty fields in the middle of the night, sometimes stop while they were driving between hunts and just lay on the hood. After a minute Sam glanced at Dean, only to realize Dean had been looking at him.  
“I knew you’d like it.” Dean told him.  
“Couldn’t take you somewhere to crazy your first night back out so.. I hope this will do.” Sam smiled at him.  
“This is perfect.” Sam told him.  
“Thank you.” He said earning a smile from Dean. Dean was so glad Sam liked this. He was relieved Sam didn’t realize what was going on at first. Sam was so damn smart it was hard to surprise him with anything. They looked at each other for another moment before Dean opened his arm.  
“Come here.” He said softly. Sam almost did a double take. He snapped himself out of his short daze and moved closer to Dean. He scooted down a bit and pressed his side against Deans, resting his head against Deans shoulder. Dean wrapped his arm around Sam. He started to lightly rub Sam’s arm. Dean couldn’t help but smile. This definitely wasn’t something they normally did, but maybe they would have to do this more often.

They laid there for a while. Sam wished it could’ve been forever. Everything was perfect. They had been there for a half hour. Both laying in comfortable silence. Dean kept his hand slowly moving against Sam’s arm and they both sipped their beer looking up at the stars. And then it finally hit Sam. What they were actually doing. What Dean said earlier. It was something they used to do before but this time.. it would be ‘different.’  
They were on a date.  
Well maybe they weren’t, but the more Sam thought about it. The more obvious it seemed.  
“Dean..” He said softly. His head still resting on his brothers shoulder. Dean chuckled softly. Like he knew what Sam was thinking.  
“Finally figured it out huh?” Dean asked, and then kissed the top of Sam’s head. Sam was glad it was dark because Dean couldn’t see him blush.  
“Yeah I.. this is.. Thank you.” Sam said softly and bit his lip. Sam slowly tilted his head up, leaning up and kissed Deans cheek. Quickly resting his head back on Deans shoulder. Dean slowly smiled. It was silly but Dean had always been the one to initiate the kissing. This was a first for Sam. Dean tightened his arm around his brother.  
“You’re welcome.” He said softly, kissing the top of Sam’s head again. Sam set his bottle to the side. It was empty and he wasn’t thinking about drinking. He turned more so he was facing Dean. Practically laying against his side now. Dean didn’t mind. Not one bit. He slid his hand up Sam’s arm, to the back of his head. Playing with Sam’s hair as he looked at the stars. This was perfect. Sam felt himself relax. Really relax. He realized how much stress he was letting go of being here. He hadn’t thought about his incident once since being here. All he felt was safe, happy, relaxed, and... loved. Dean felt Sam shiver slightly.  
“Are you ok?” Dean asked softly. He felt Sam nod.  
“I’m perfect.” Sam whispered. And he really did feel that way. Dean kissed Sam’s forehead then. Soft and sweet. Letting his lips linger for a moment. Sam was flooded with so many emotions. Once Dean pulled back, Sam looked up at him. Their eyes met and Dean leaned down, pressing his lips against against Sam’s. Dean didn’t intend for this to happen. He only planned to have them laying out here. Watching the stars, maybe cuddling.. manly cuddling. But he couldn’t help it, and Sam didn’t seem to mind, so fuck everything else.  
Dean set his bottle aside. He slowly rolled over Sam, never breaking the kiss. He kept the kiss slow and gently, his lips moving slowly against Sam’s.  
Sam closed his eyes as he kissed Dean back. This was perfect. He laid on his back, reaching up to cup Deans cheeks. Kissing him slowly. Letting out a small moan into Deans mouth. Dean turned his head to deepen the kiss. His hand cupping the back of Sam’s head. His elbows on the hood of the car supporting his weight so he wouldn’t hurt Sam’s ribs. Even now he was careful, and Sam knew that. Sam rubbed Deans cheeks lightly. Kissing him back just as deep. Dean broke the kiss trailing soft kisses across Sam’s jaw and down his neck. Sam panted softly. Letting out shaky breaths and slowly opened his eyes. It was just them. Him and Dean out in the open under the stars, on the hood of Deans car. Sam moved his arms around Dean. Hugging his brother, trying to pull Dean closer against him.  
“Dean..” he breathed out, taking him in. Taking this whole moment in. It wasn’t sex. They weren’t naked. It wasn’t anything like that, yet Sam had never felt closer to Dean then he did now. Dean kissed Sam’s neck. Letting his body down enough so his chest was pressed against Sam’s.  
“I’m right here.” Dean whispered against Sam’s skin. Pulling back to look down at him.  
“Right here.” He said again. Leaning Down to connect their lips again. Sam kissed back. Closing his eyes. Until Dean pulled back again. He didn’t want things going to far yet, and if things kept up he probably would.  
“Sorry.” Dean said softly looking at Sam. Sam just shook his head.  
“Don’t be.. I’m not.” He said kissing Dean again. Dean smiled against Sam’s lips. Pulling back after a minute and slowly rolling them over again. He held Sam against his chest looking up at the stars, rubbing Sam’s back. He could feel his brothers breath against his neck. Sam’s body against his keeping them both warm, both feeling a sense of security and Safe. Sam smiled. Tonight was perfect. He didn’t need anything else to be happy. He had Dean. And that was all he’d ever need.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter would’ve been a little longer but it’s late and I couldn’t write anymore. I also did this from my phone so I’m sorry for all the spelling errors there probably are.
> 
> I hope you guys liked it.
> 
> Feel free to comment! Let me know what you think!


	24. Chapter 24

They both laid there for a while longer. Sam against Deans side, his head on his older brothers shoulder. Sam wouldn't of changed this moment for anything. It was perfect. He felt as Dean continued to switch and slowly rub his back, and play with his hair. He never wanted this to end. Sam had his eyes closed, not sleeping, but relaxing against his brother. Dean held Sam as he continued to look at the stars, his brothers weight now familiar against him. They had been laying out there for about two hours now, it was getting darker and Dean felt Sam start to shiver slightly against him. Dean knew it wasn't from his touches, it was starting to get colder out.  
"I think it's time we head back now." Dean said softly, feeling as Sam let out a deep breath against his neck.  
"Ok." Sam replied quietly. He was starting to get cold.  
"Can we.. come back out here. Do this again sometime?" Sam asked softly, still not moving off of Dean. Dean just chuckled.  
"The nights not even over and you're already asking me out on another date." Dean said rubbed Sams back.  
"So this was a date." Sam grinned. Dean kissed his head.  
"Yeah, it was. And yes, we'll come out here again sometime." Dean promised him. Sam smiled and pulled back slightly. He kissed Deans cheek earning a smile from Dean, and he slowly slipped off the hood of the car. Dean got off the hood as well, getting back into the car as Sam got into the passenger seat. Dean started the car turning the heat on to keep them both warm. Sam scooted closer to Dean, a bit nervously, but after laying on the hood together he didn't think Dean would mind. And he didn't. Dean smiled and backed out, onto the road and headed back to the bunker. He grabbed Sams hand, gently squeezing it as he drove.  
"You ok?" Dean asked softly, slowly rubbing his thumb against the back of his hand. Sams hand was a bit cold but Dean knew his probably was as well.  
"Yeah.. Yeah I'm great actually." Sam couldn't describe it. He just felt good. He felt better, happier, and it was all because of Dean. Dean who had nursed him back to his pretty much one hundred percent health. He still had scars and fading bruises, he knew those would heal over time, but his other worries, his stress, those were already fading.  
"Good." Dean spoke softly.  
"Maybe you'll get some decent sleep tonight." Sam smiled looking down at their hands.  
"I will if you're there with me." Sam said quietly, he always slept well with Dean, always. Dean smiled shaking his head. These were things he thought would feel awkward and uncomfortable talking about with Sam. But they didn't. It felt natural, normal. Dean lifted Sams hand, kissing the back of it.  
"I'll always be with you." He said. It was a statement and a promise. Sam smiled pulling Deans hand over to hold in his lap. Sam scooted down a bit, getting comfortable and let his head rest on Deans shoulder. Dean gently squeezed Sams hand, turning to kiss the top of Sams head before looking back at the road. Maybe being with Sam wasn't going to feel any different. And if it did, it wouldn't be as stressful as Dean had thought. It would only make their lives better.

They got back to the bunker after a few minutes of driving. Dean parked baby and turned off her engine. Only letting go of Sams hand to do that and get out of the car. Tonight had gone well. Better than he thought.. but it wasn't over yet. He gently grabbed Sams hand again and they walked inside the bunker. Sam smiled feeling himself blush. Having Dean being cuddly and touchy was something he wasn't expecting, but he didn't mind it one bit. They stayed quiet but it was comfortable. Dean holding onto Sams hand as Dean guided them to his bedroom. It was the room they had both been sleeping in for a while now, it wasn't planned but they were both happy with it.  
Sam felt his heartbeat speed up slightly as Dean lead him into the room. It was normal but tonight, things felt different. Dean stopped once they were both in the room. He slowly turned to Sam, smiling gently up at him. Still holding onto his hand, Dean reached up with his free hand to cup Sams cheek. Dean leaned up and gently pulled Sam down, kissing his lips gently. Sam let his eyes close. Lifting his free hand to place on Deans wrist. Kissing him back slowly. Dean let go of Sams hand, wrapping his arm around Sams waist, pulling him closer. Sam lifted his other hand to cup Deans cheek, kissing him gently, his hand shaking slightly and his heart pounding. Dean pulled back taking a deep breath looking up at Sam. He had to know, had to make sure this was ok.  
"I don't want to stop this time." He said softly, his eyes locking with Sams. Sam held his gaze for a moment.  
"I don't either." He whispered, quickly leaning in to kiss Dean again, moving both his hands to frame Deans face.

Dean kissed Sam deeply, his hands sliding up Sams chest to his top button and slowly started to undo them, working his way down Sams flannel shirt. Sams hands framing Deans face, Sam kissed him slowly, deeply, wanting more. his thumbs lightly moving over Deans cheeks, letting out soft moans into Deans mouth. Dean finished Sams flannel gently pushing it off his shoulders. He then slowly slid his hands up underneath Sams t shirt, letting his hands skim over his stomach. Sam let out a soft breath and Dean pressed closer, sliding his tongue into Sams mouth, making his brother moan. Sam wrapped his arm around Deans neck letting him explore, letting him in, exploring and tasting each other until Dean pulled back lifting up Sams shirt. Sam lifted his arms letting Dean pull it off and quickly reconnected their lips. Sam would never get enough of Dean. Dean let his hands roam over Sams stomach and chest, Sam had lost some weight but was still in good shape, still broad and tall and Dean wanted to taste every inch of him. He started working on his own clothes, sliding off his flannel shirt, then pulling back to pull his own shirt off, feeling Sams hands go right to his chest and sides and fuck. Why hadn't they done this sooner.  
He gently pushed Sam back to the bed, Sam laying back but reached for Dean arm pulling him onto the bed. Dean crawled over Sam leaning down, pressing his lips to Sams in a passionnant kiss. He pulled back starting to pant. There was so much he wanted to do to Sam, so much of his brothers body to explore but something else needed to be done now.  
"Turn over." Dean said softly looking down at Sam. Sams face was flushed and his lips were started to get kiss swollen. He could feel Sam tense slightly.  
"I.. I'd rather see you.." Sam said softly. Dean smiled down at him. He didn't want to make Sam uncomfortable but felt this was needed.  
"Trust me Sammy.. just for a minute." He spoke softly. Sam nodded slowly. He turned to lay on his stomach, still a bit tense. He did trust Dean but he would rather have Dean in front of him and visible in case bad memories popped up.  
Dean was kneeling over Sam, staring down at his back. He was quiet for a moment and didn't move, just looking over his brothers back. Dean then slowly leaned forward and gently kissed the back of Sams shoulder. he then started to trail soft slow kisses down Sams back.  
Sam let out a shaky breath. Dean was being so gentle, so slow, he didn't expect it but he should've. He felt Deans lips traveling down his back, pressing soft kisses over to the side, then felt him trailing kisses across his back almost in a pattern. Sam then gasped softly, his eyes filling with tears when he realized what Dean was doing.  
"Beautiful..." Dean whispered against Sams abused skin, his lips trailing over the scarred letters on his brothers body.  
"So gorgeous..." He murmured kissing lower, his lips trailing over every line, every letter, every scarred up word on his brothers back. Because the words there didn't matter, no scar ever would. Sam had overcome this and was only going to be stronger from here on out.  
"Perfect.." Dean breathed out pressing a long kiss to the middle of Sams back.  
"Absolutely perfect." He murmured into Sams skin. Sam took a shaky breath, trying hard not to cry, trying hard to keep it together. Because he finally believed Dean. Every word he spoke. Dean kissed back up Sams back and Sam turned back around, looking up at Dean. Dean caught his gaze, Sams eyes were full of unshed tears. Dean leaned in kissing Sam hard. Sam wrapped his arms around Dean pulling him closer, lifting his legs to wrap around Deans waist. Dean laid down on top of Sam, their chests pressed together, Dean grinding his clothed crotch against Sams. Sam moaned into Deans mouth. Dean bit down on Sams lip pulling on it as he pulled back from the kiss panting as he looked down at Sam.  
"You are..." Dean whispered looking down at him.  
"You're all those things and so much more." Dean whispered. Sam looked up at him, eyes still watery. He leaned up to kiss Dean, letting out a shaky breath.  
"I believe you." Sam whispered against Deans lips. Dean cupped his cheek, pulling him into another bruising kiss. Putting as much love as he could into it, he wanted Sam to know. Wanted Sam to believe him and now he finally did.

Dean pulled back reaching over to his dresser, one hand rubbing Sams chest, the other grabbing lube and condoms. They were both panting, both already starting to get hard. Both wanting this badly. Sam panted as he looked up at Dean who was kneeling between his legs. Sam started to undo his jeans and pull them off, Dean doing the Same with his own.  
"The condoms... we don't need them." Sam said softly as Dean tossed his jeans aside, helping Sam out of his. Dean looked down at Sam.  
"Are you sure?" He asked, and Sam nodded.  
"Positive." Sam told him. Dean leaned back over Sam kissing him quickly.  
"I'm gonna make you feel so good." He promised. He wanted this to be good for Sam.  
"I know you will." Sam whispered watching as Dean pulled back, pulling off his boxers and tossing them aside. Sam bit his lip. Dean was fucking gorgeous. He was fit, and even with his swollen kissed lips, flushed face, and now messy hair Sam thought he was the sexiest man ever. Dean reached for Sams boxers gently pulling them down but leaned over Sam, Kissing him again before they were fully off.  
"At any time... you want me to stop.. or you feel uncomfortable.. just tell me to stop." Dean whispered against Sams lips. Sam nodded and kissed Dean again. He thought he'd be fine, he hoped he would be.  
"I will." He promised Dean. Dean kissed him quickly and pulled back sliding his boxers completely off and tossing them aside.  
"Fucking gorgeous." Dean whispered putting lube onto his fingers. He kissed Sams thigh, bruises there mostly gone now. He slowly moved his fingers down to Sams hole rubbing over it lightly. Sam inhaled deeply and forced himself to relax. He wanted this, he'd be damned if he let his past get in the way of this. Dean watched Sams face, rubbing his thigh and hip with one hand and slowly pushed his finger into Sam. Sam inhaled sharply, tensing slightly feeling Dean enter him. Dean stilled and let Sam adjust for a moment before slowly adding a second finger, feeling Sam tense some more. Dean squeezed Sams thigh lightly.  
"It's ok sweetheart. Just me.. you're ok." He said softly, watching as Sam took Deep breaths, his eyes closed. He felt Sam relax around him and he slowly nodded.  
"Keep going." Sam whispered and he did. Dean slowly worked him open, till he heard Sam start to moan in pleasure, and start pushing down against his fingers. Dean leaned over kissing Sams stomach. Pulling his fingers out and putting lube on his cock, hearing Sam whine at the loss, feeling empty now. Dean smiled and leaned over Sam again kissing him deeply, Sam immediately wrapped his arms around Dean, spreading his legs for him.  
"Just you and me." Dean whispered against Sams lips, Sam was panting, nodding quickly and kissed Dean again. He trusted Dean more then anyone he'd ever known. He knew he'd be ok. Dean pressed the head of his cock to Sams hole, slowly pushing in until the head of his cock was completely in. Sam let out a soft hiss and Dean kissed Down Sams neck and across his shoulder. Keeping still and then pushing in slowly, inch by inch until he was completely inside of Sam. Sam let out a soft groan and Dean moved back over Sam to kiss him deeply. "Just me.. just you and me baby boy." He whispered, swallowing Sams moans of discomfort, keeping his bottom half still until Sam had adjusted. Dean reached between them and slowly started to stroke Sams cock, earning a moan from Sam.  
"That's it sweetheart.." Dean murmured kissing Sams cheek and nipping at his jaw. Sam moaned feeling Deans hand around him. It was one of the best feelings ever. He started to pant again and after a minute he pressed down against Deans cock.  
"Move.." He breathed out. Dean kissed his jaw and slowly pulled almost all the way out of Sam and thrusted back into him, letting out a soft moan of his own.  
"Fuck.. Sammy.." Dean breathed out, Sam was so tight, so warm around his cock it felt amazing.  
"Fuck.." Sam moaned, his blunt nails pressing into Deans back. Dean let out a low moan and started up a slow rhythm. Thrusting slowly into Sam trying to find that one spot, changing the angle until..  
"Fuck Dean! There! Fuck! Right there!" Sam cried out, arching up against Dean, lightly dragging his nails across Deans back. Dean kept the Same angle, thrusting into Sam a bit harder, nailing his prostate again. Sam cried out loudly, throwing his head back.  
"Yes Fuck! There! Right there.. don't stop." He moaned out. He never thought it would feel this good, even with Deans promises, but he wasn't feeling pain, not anymore. Dean pressed his face into Sams neck sucking on it. biting down gently on his skin causing Sam to cry out again, dragging his nails down Deans back.  
"Dean! Dean!" Sam cried out, moaning loudly. Dean started stroking Sam faster, in time with his thrusts, his other hand tangled into Sams hair tugging on it as he left marks along Sams neck. Each one of Sams moans making Dean harder. Feeling his cock twitch inside of Sam. Sam cried out with every one of Deans thrusts. He wasn't going to last long, not like this. He panted and moaned, bringing his legs back around Dean trying to pull him closer.  
"Dean.. Dean..." Sam chanted his name with every thrust, every jolt of his body. Dean panted against Sams neck.  
"Sammy... close..." Was all he could get out, shoving himself fully into Sam with every thrust. Dean thrusted into Sam a few more times, Sam couldn't stop it, it was all so overwhelming. He cried out loudly, his nails digging into Deans back.  
"Dean!!" Sam cried out, his whole body arching up against Deans as he came between them, moaning loudly, tightening around Dean. Dean let out a loud moan. Thrusting harder into Sam.  
"Sam.. fuck.. Sam!" Dean moaned loudly, biting down against Sams neck, thrusting fully into Sam, coming hard inside of him. He heard Sam moan and felt Sams arms tighten around him, holding him close. Dean panting against Sams skin. His hips jerking against Sam as he rode out his orgasm, slowly came down from his high, his body completely pressed against Sams. They both laid there, panting, taking in the moment. Dean was the first to get control back in his limbs he slowly moved over, kissing Sam lazily and deeply. He pressed his forehead against Sams, them both slowly catching their breath.  
"You ok?" Dean whispered, slowly opening his eyes to look down at Sam. Sam nodded slowly.  
"Yes.. that was... fuck.." Sam didn't even have words to describe how good he felt. Dean smiled.  
"Yeah.. it was." He kissed Sam again gently and slowly pulled out of him.  
"Come here." Dean whispered, rolling to lay on his back beside Sam. Sam slowly rolled to his side, half laying on Deans chest. He tangled their legs, and wrapped his arm around Deans waist as Dean kissed his head. Dean rubbed his back, feeling as Sams breathing evened out. He kissed Sams head again.  
"Good night sweetheart." Dean whispered into his hair. Sam kissed Deans chest lazily.  
"Good night De." He whispered, already half asleep. Sam wasn't worried about nightmares, not about anything. Dean was there. He felt safe. Felt loved. This was all he had ever wanted and now he had it. In the morning, it would still be that way. Perfect. Sam fell asleep against Deans chest, peacefully, to the sound of his brothers heartbeat. He was finally home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It really has been a long time since the last update. I'm so sorry! Hope you guys liked this chapter.
> 
> Only one more left and I'll start on my next one! Check out my IG story @ SammyAndDe if you're interested on what I'll be posting next!
> 
> Feel free to comment! Let me know what you think!


	25. Epilogue

Dean woke up first the next morning. Sam laying against him. He watched his brother slept peacefully, with no nightmares. He never seemed to have any when they were together. After watching Sam sleep for about five more minutes, Dean gently rubbed Sam back and kissed his head until Sam started to wake.  
"Morning Sammy." Dean whispered. Watching as Sam slowly blinked his eyes opened. Sam smiled, trying not to blush, realizing they were both still naked and pressed against each other.  
"Morning." Sam mumbled. Turning his head to kiss Deans chest. Dean smiled, he could really get used to waking up like this every morning.  
"How'd you sleep? You feeling ok?" Dean asked as he looked down at his brother, his hand moving up and down Sam's back slowly. Sam smiled and nodded letting his head rest on Deans chest.  
"I'm fine. Best sleep I've had in forever.. And I'm fine. Don't worry about me Dean." He assured his brother. Dean nodded letting out a content sigh.  
"I'm sure you're hungry. How about I make us some breakfast." Dean suggested. Sam smiled.  
"Pancakes?"  
"Pancakes it is." Dean kissed his head and slowly moved out from underneath Sam. Sam watched as Dean got out of bed and put on his sweatpants.  
"Come on. I'm not letting you stay in bed all day anymore." Dean grinned looking back at Sam who just groaned.  
"Five more minutes." Sam said making no attempt to leave the bed. Dean chuckled.  
"Fine, but you stay in here any longer and I'll come back with a bucket of water." Dean said and left the room.  
"Jerk!" Sam called out, voice muffled by the pillow.  
"Bitch." Dean said softly, smiling as he went to the kitchen to start breakfast.

Dean had the batter all made and the pans warming up o the stove. It had been at least ten minutes and Sam hadn't come back. He was debating on if he should call out to Sam until he heard faint footsteps coming from the hall. He smiled but said nothing. Keeping his back to the doorway and poured some batter into the pan. He heard as Sam walked closer, and wrapped his arms around Dean from behind.  
"I know this is all new to you.. to us.." Sam said softly, his chest pressed against Deans back.  
"But everything that's happened. Everything you've done for me, and what we've become, just.. Thank you. For everything Dean. And I know you don't want to hear that, but I really appreciate everything you do for me.. thank you." Sam said softly and kissed the back of Deas head. Dean smiled, he relaxed back against Sam, still facing forward. He had never been good with words especially when it came to stuff like this.  
"Thank you.." Dean said softly.  
"Having you get better... having you here with me, when you could be out anywhere else, with anyone else.. That means a lot to me Sam. That's what I want." Dean told him. Sam shook his head. Resting his forehead against the back of Deans head.  
"You still don't get it.." Sam whispered.  
"No matter what Dean, no matter how old I get, no matter how much better at hunting I get, no matter what I end up doing.. I will always want you.. I'll always need you. Because I do Dean. I need you. I need you with me. I need to know you're safe. That you're ok, because if I didn't, if you weren't here.. Dean I don't know what I'd do without you." Sam whispered and kissed the back of his head again. Dean felt himself relax completely against Sam. Fighting to hold back the tears in his eyes. That's all he wanted, all he needed. To be wanted by Sam, to be needed by Sam. To have Sam want to stick by his side. Dean slowly turned in Sams arms, looking up at him. He reached up cupping Sams cheek and gently pulled him into a kiss. Wrapping his other arm around Sam pulling him closer. He kissed Sam slowly and softly. Pulling back slowly and looked up at Sam, rubbing his cheek lightly with his thumb.  
"I love you." Dean whispered. Maybe it was to soon to say it. Maybe it wasn't the right time, but Dean meant it. He really did. He loved Sam more then he could describe. He heard Sam gasp quietly and then Sam pulled him into another kiss. This one harder, deeper. Deans hand sliding to the back of Sams head tangling his fingers into Sams hair kissing him back deeply, trying to show Sam just how much he meant it. Sam pulled back panting, looking down at Dean.  
"I love you too." Sam whispered, his voice shaky and quiet. Dean smiled.  
"I know you do." He said, gently pulling Sam down into another kiss. Sam smiled against Deans lips. Humming softly and pulled back pressing their foreheads together.  
"You're gonna burn our breakfast." He whispered, but stayed close to Dean. He wasn't moving away at all. Dean just smiled and kissed him again.  
"I'll just make more." He mumbled against Sam's lips. Sam grinned almost laughing as he shook his head kissing Dean deeply. Breakfast could wait. He already had everything he'd ever need right in his arms, so did Dean, and neither of them planned on ever letting go.  
~End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! So it's done.. Like all stories, at one point it must come to an end and I think here was a good spot.
> 
> I want to thank everyone who took the time out of their day to read, leave encouraging comments and all in all just enjoyed the story. It was my first fanfic and I really enjoyed writing it. And if anyone is wondering... I do have a few other stories in mind for the future ;)
> 
> (Also, you honestly do NOT have to follow or even go look But my IG is SammyAndDe and I post on my story about story Ideas I have, just in case anyone is interested.)


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